


PHASE ONE | THE RUDE AWAKENING

by lokisbicth



Series: MIGRAINE | MCU OC FANFICTION [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Female Character, Emotional, Fluff, Future, Heavy Angst, Hurt Loki (Marvel), Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Multi, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-06-05 05:33:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 25
Words: 50,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15163760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lokisbicth/pseuds/lokisbicth
Summary: Valerie has always been troubled.The voices in her head never seemed to go away.Every day, she would hear people's thoughts, not able to control it.It all got over her head and she was ready to jump. Leave everything behind with that one leap off her apartment building.She never thought somebody would save her. She didn't want to be saved.But the man in a shiny, red and gold metal suit had other things on his mind.





	1. 1 | THE JUMP

 

  I stand there, on the edge of the roof, watching over the city one last time before I come to the finish line. I watch the people, busy on the streets, hurrying to their important meetings and responsibilities. They carry on with their every day lives, thinking about completely ordinary things, too occupied to notice a girl standing on the edge of her life.

  And I can hear them thinking. I can hear them all. _Over_ _thinking_ _._ Sometimes I can't help but ask myself, why do we bother? Some things just seem so simple, so easy to solve, yet our own existence keeps us going around and around, trapped in an endless circle of experience and infinity of different mistakes we commit. From aside, everybody's worries seem so unimportant and basic that it'd be funny if only I wasn't going insane.

  This was happening for a while now, the voices of others trapped in my head as I tried to stop them from coming in, from entering my private space that was supposed to be mine and no one else's. But I never succeeded. No matter what I did, how many times a day I tried to focus and calm down, no matter how many breathing exercises I did- nothing worked.

  The thoughts kept swarming my consciousness, blocking away the thoughts that mattered, _my thoughts_. It was too much, the constant buzzing in my head, the loud self judgement that wasn't mine, the health problems I never had... All of those thoughts seemed to never stop from coming, despite how hard I tried to keep them out. Because they weren't mine.

  I was fine at first, thinking it was just an anomaly that I had to cope with for a while because that's what my powers carried. But time went on and on, carrying me away and dragging me further down to sink in isolation in order to keep at least _one piece_  of my sanity. But isolating myself from the world didn't seem to work. I couldn't do this anymore.

  So I brace myself for the final fall, a willing leap to the inevitable, as a playful breeze tugs at my hair and runs over my bare shoulders, sending a shiver down my spine. I feel the sun shine on my face as I look up at the sky, viewing a few scattered clouds, cascading over the blue infinity like lost sheep, searching for their herd. I relish those most basic feelings and pictures, thinking of what will it be like after I do it.

  Though, I couldn't really think of it. I had no expectations, I just hoped to be free from all the talking in my head. That's actually why I wanted to do this in the first place. To break free from all of the loud murmur in my head. I didn't know how it happened or why it happened, I just wanted it to stop.

  Before I do the final act, I notice a man pointing at me from afar. He seems so tiny from this height, barely even a human-like figure. But that doesn't stop me from seeing his shocked expression. Suddenly, his thoughts become the loudest in my head and I hear him thinking about saving me, but then reconsidering because he's too far. Besides, what if he doesn't succeed and I jump anyway? My death would be on him and he couldn't do that to himself.

  His thoughts fade as I hear a clank of metal behind my back. Somebody was already up there, probably trying to play hero and save me. But I never wanted to be saved. I didn't even think of being saved or anybody wanting to save me. But as I turned around, focusing my gaze on the intruder and controlling my balance so I don't fall before I see who the person was, my eyes were met with a shiny, red and gold metal suit in a shape of a man.

  "Hey, hey, hey!" He says holding an arm out in attempt to stop me from moving too much. "Step away from the edge." His voice sounds like a metallic echo in my ears and I want so desperately to jump, but I still want to know what he wants to say, curiosity being the only thing keeping me alive. I'm very well aware of who was in that metal husk, it was Tony Stark. The billionaire and playboy, coming to my rescue. Except I didn't need to be rescued.

  "Go away." I tell him, turning my back and casting my gaze back onto the street. "I don't want you to save me, it's over." There's people gathering on the other side of the street, huddled up in a bunch with shock written all over their faces. They seemed like they cared, but that was never the case. Everything that kept them there, forming a crowd on the sidewalk, was the curious nature of people.

  "I'm sure it doesn't have to be like this, step away from the edge." He says with determination in his voice. I scoff at his stubborn behavior. What does he know? Who was he to tell me to live my life as it was, even thought he had _no idea_ how hard it was for me? I ignored his words, gathering the little courage I needed to jump. "What's your name?" He asks, trying to stretch out the conversation so I have the time for doubt.

  "Valerie." I reply shortly, watching the people move down on the ground and cars pass by. "Please, go. It's bad for your reputation, Stark." I shake my head and shrug slightly. "I'm going to jump anyways." I know that he wanted to say something else, but I made up my mind.

  I lifted my foot off the ground, completely ignoring the man behind me who was desperately trying to stop me from ending my life. But I didn't budge. I listened to the buzzing in my head, the constant fear of other people from the other side of the street. I tried stopping them one last time, but _of course_ it didn't work. So I took in a deep breath and let myself lose all the balance, falling forward towards the ground.

  My heart skipped a beat as I neared down to the ground. The voices in my head got louder and louder, making my head pound for a few seconds, but then they stopped. The abrupt silence felt so good and I finally felt relief. I closed my eyes, relishing the feeling of silence and my final few moments I spent falling. But before I finally hit the ground, I was rising back in the air.

  Was I dead already?

  No.

  I registered the strong grip of metal hands on me, my body in the arms of a metal man, carrying me back up onto the building. I felt rage rush through me in an electric wave, overwhelming me in a second. As soon as Iron Man placed me on the roof and I was steady on my own feet, I turned to him and kicked him directly below his arc reactor. He stumbled back a few feet from the impact, lifting his face plate and looking at me with a shocked expression.

   "That's what I get for saving your life?" He asked and looked at me with piercing eyes, irritated by my behavior. I frowned, crossing my arms and shaking my head in disapproval. He really thought I was going to kiss his ass now that he prevented my death even though I wanted to die.

   "You had no right to do so. It's my fucking life and it's terrible. I-" I choked on my words, realizing how quiet it was. There was just a deafening silence inside of my head, nothing to stop me from exploring my own mind. The air inside of my lungs disappeared as I forgot how to breathe, forcing myself to take in a long breath. "They're gone."

  "Who's gone?" Stark frowned at me. "Valerie what-"

  "The thoughts." I stuttered. "I'm-" I couldn't say anything from shock, staring into his eyes and trying to calm myself down. "I have to go."

  He yells at me to stop, but I run back into the emergency stairway which was how I got to the roof in the first place. I felt tears pooling inside of my eyes and blinked violently to stop them from spilling. The tears weren't ones of sadness or sorrow, they were the one of relief.

  I rushed down the emergency stairway, out into the hallway on my level and straight into my apartment. There, I slammed the door shut, slowly sliding down it's smooth, wooden surface until I was sitting on the cold ground and hugging my knees.

  I sat like that for god knows how long, sobbing until my lungs hurt and my back ached from the uncomfortable position I was in. I felt so exhausted that the only thing I had the energy to do was go to bed and there pass out, drained from everything that happened.


	2. 2 | THE VISIT

   I was alone at home, as usual, exhausted from the work I hated. I was a waitress, which could probably never be interesting, but I still went to my workplace with hope that today would be better than yesterday. That's mostly how my life was for the past two months after I almost ended it.   
  
  My time mostly consisted of going to work and being at home, binge watching series and movies on Netflix. I didn't have a problem with it, considering I didn't have anyone anymore. I lost all of my friends a few months after my powers got out of control and now I guess I have to suffer the consequences.  
  
  Even without the uncontrollable listening to other people's thoughts all the time, my life was noticeably miserable. I didn't have any friends, I didn't even have a decent job and although it threw me even more into depression, I didn't have the energy to do anything about it.   
  
  There was nothing unusual about this particular evening. I made myself mac and cheese for dinner and was ready to take on my ordinary dose of cheesy movies and series. But before I even turned on the TV that was hung on the wall of my living room, there was a sharp knock on the door to my apartment. I rolled my eyes, slowly standing up and dragging myself over to answer it.  
  
  I turned the key in two swift movements of my wrist and swung the door open, getting a look at the person that was outside. It was a man, I knew who he was, but was still shocked to see him. To say the least. He was dressed casually, I noticed it mainly because I was used to seeing him on the screen of my TV, dressed into some expensive suit. "S-Stark?" I stuttered. "What are you doing here?"  
  
  His breathing faltered and he darted his eyes away from my face for just a moment, before looking me directly in the eyes as he finally found the answer to my, fairly simple, question. "I just wanted to check on you, and uh..." He pushed the flowers he was holding tightly in his grasp towards me and I took them hesitantly, not really present at the moment. It was a bouquet of red and white roses, neatly tucked into a gray paper and tied with a red, shiny strap.  
  
  "Yeah, thanks." I thanked him, flashing him a short smile and glancing over my shoulder to the mac and cheese on my coffee table. "Do you want to come in? Have a drink or something? I have mac and cheese if you'd like..."  
  
  "That sounds great." He told me with a tiny frown. I moved aside for him to walk in "So how are you? I meant to check on you earlier but-"  
  
  "It's okay. I'm okay. Don't bother yourself too much." I shook my head, motioning for him to sit on the couch. He nodded at me, sitting down and casting his gaze swiftly over my apartment. "I would've prepared nicer dinner, but I didn't really known you were coming so..."  
  
  "It's okay, I'm not hungry anyway." He assured me, still a bit awkward. It was weird for me too, I would've never guessed that Stark would show up to check on me after he- quiet literally- saved my life. But maybe he just wanted to make sure, because he felt like it was his responsibility to keep me alive no matter what.  
  
  "Nonsense. I'll get you a plate, we can share." I told him, turning around and making it into my kitchen where I managed to take in a deep breath and calm myself down. I was too nervous, perhaps, but what was I supposed to do? I was an anxious, depressed wreck that didn't know how to act around people. Much less a man who saved my life.  
  
  I took a plate and an extra fork, quickly pacing back into the living room. Tony was looking at the photograph that was right next to the TV, the one of my family from when I was little. We all seemed like a perfect family, sitting all together with smiles over our faces in our big front yard, a happy golden retriever laying over our laps.  
  
  But that was a picture we posed for, I never got along with my parents. They were manipulative and cruel, so I never really got to have a normal childhood. They always expected the best of me, perfect grades and perfect behaviour. I did what they told me. I was afraid, because for everything I did wrong there was punishment. As soon as I was eighteen I ran away from home, found a job and started living on my own.  
  
  "Here." I muttered, splitting the food in two and putting it on his plate. "I would offer you a drink, but I don't really have anything so... uh, water?" I ask and he tells me that it's fine, he's not thirsty. I nod awkwardly and sit in the armchair that was next to the cheap, grey couch he was sitting on.  
  
  There's a brief silence between us, before he spoke abruptly. "Can I ask you a question?" He said, looking me directly into my faint green eyes with his chestnut ones. I was startled for a moment, but nodded rapidly two seconds later. "On the roof when..." He cleared his throat. "What were you talking about when you said that they were gone?" He asked me and I wanted to lie, but something urged me to tell him the truth.  
  
  I sighed, looking away for a moment before looking into his curious eyes. "I can read people's minds." I tell him and he raises his eyebrows, not scared, not confused. Just curious. "Yeah and uh... my powers got out of control and I couldn't stop hearing other people's thoughts. Anywhere I went I'd hear the thoughts of people around me. It got really disturbing and eventually made me go insane, I guess..." I explained, looking at my hands. It was difficult saying it aloud, since I never talked to anyone about my abilities. But Tony seemed like he was curious to know what bothered me so much, and I had no idea if it was because he actually cared or it was all just interesting to him.   
  
"They stopped after you jumped?" He questioned and I gave a brief nod in approval. "Why?" He asked me and I just shrugged. I had no idea, never thought about it actually. It was nice that the madness stopped, I was thankful for it and didn't need anymore answers. He huffed, probably wondering why wasn't I curious as to why everything stopped. But I simply lacked energy to do so.  
  
The silence overwhelmed the air around us, once again, and I didn't want it to become too awkward so I spoke again. "Do you want to watch a movie?" I asked him and he looked at me, confused, for a split second. Movie night wasn't his ideal evening, at least I suspected it, since he was always presented like the party machine, playboy in the public. And it was like that, yes, but before he lived through the enlightenment of his near death trip due to the weaponry his own company produced.  
  
"Sure." He shrugged, taking the plate of mac and cheese in his hands. I searched for the movie as he started eating the food I gave him, bluntly staring at the screen and watching me search for something to watch.  
  
We eventually agree on some random, dumb comedy, not really in the mood for some deep, quality story. We watch a first few minutes in silence, but then start laughing like dumbasses as the movie went on. Even though I started enjoying Tony's company, the hard work I did at the restaurant earlier that day hit me like a train and I could barely keep my eyes open.  
  
Against my will, I slowly drifted into sleep, having the most unusual dream of my life.


	3. 3 | THE DREAM

Everything is dark. I can't see anything except the infinite amount of black that was hung all around me. It seemed like I was dreaming, but there was a web of realness that wrapped around me, trapping me frozen in my place. I wasn't able to move, not until a silhouette, slightly brighter than the surrounding, appeared. It had a masculine outline and I was almost completely certain that it was a man. I made a step back, realizing that I was able to move my hands and legs, immediately looking down at myself.  
  
Everything about me was the same, I was dressed in the same, worn out clothes I changed into whenever I was at home. My body was completely normal, no anomalies. At least none that I could notice. I looked eagerly ahead of me, expecting the worst and the best from the unknown man, all at the same time.  
  
He stepped further towards me, his steps louder and louder by the moment, the sound reflecting off of nothing in particular and reaching my ears like an echo. I had to take a step back, feeling too close to this strange silhouette as I felt my lungs ache for air, even though I never realized I was holding my breath.  
  
"Good evening, Midgardian." The voice came from the stranger in front of me as my gaze came into focus, the blurry, human-like shape replaced with an actual human being. It was a man, dressed into an extraordinary attire, something I'd never seen before. His clothes looked royal, but still so strange that I never thought anybody would wear them. On his head he wore a golden helmet with pair of horns on the front.  
  
I looked up from his cloak, directly into his deep, emerald eyes that pierced right through me, making me have goosebumps all over my body. I felt so vulnerable under his stern look, yet so at peace that I wanted to burst into tears right then and there. He was the first one to look away, though, making me realize I was holding in my breath once again.   
  
"Who are you?" The words slipped from my lips unintentionally, my curiosity winning over my common sense as he huffed quietly. Taking another step closer to me, now being barely three feet away, he smiled, looking down at his feet.  
  
"I'm Loki, of Asgard. I'm the God of mischief and tricks." He tells me, still smiling down at the ground. I choke on my own breath, feeling my heartbeat speed up abnormally. God? "You're Valerie of Midgard, aren't you?" He asked me, looking up and staring right into my eyes. I blinked violently, trying to make myself wake up. But this was no dream.  
  
"Are you real?" My breath shook. He nodded slowly, his smile fading. He was so pretty, I never would've imagined that a god looked like an ordinary human being. But here I was- in this strange surrounding standing before him. "How do I know you're not lying?"  
  
"Read my mind." He commands and I try, putting all of my power into it. Yet, even after a minute or two of giving my everything into doing it, I had nothing. It was impossible to read his mind. "You can't. I have too much power and you still haven't progressed enough to read my mind. But don't worry, you'll do it eventually."   
  
"S-Sure." I stutter, looking away for a moment. There was nothing except us there, not even the wind. "Where are we?" I asked him, moving a few steps to my left and looking in all directions, trying to find a tiny bit of difference in the ethereal darkness.   
  
"We're inside of your mind." He says, walking up to me. "You're too vulnerable right now, you can't let the man of iron manipulate you." He tells me, frowning slightly. I gasped, wondering how he knew about Tony. He seemed to be serious though, and I couldn't help but feel curious.  
  
"He won't manipulate me. I'm not an idiot." I huff, shaking my head. "You don't even know me." He raised his eyebrows at my statement, having one of those; are you sure? looks. His gaze told me to have doubt, but I was too stubborn to believe that a god knew about me.  
  
"I entered your most private place, your mind, is that not enough?" He frowned at me, but his facial expression still seemed so soft and gentle, as if he was trying so hard to be careful with me. Maybe he actually knew a lot about me. What a mess I was and how I was so mad that I tried ending my life.   
  
"I guess you're right." I sighed. "But why is everything dark?" I asked, squinting my eyes at the blackness that was all over. His lips curved into a soft smile as he closed his eyes, holding his breath for a brief moment. In a blink of an eye, the two of us were on a bridge, the water below it spreading as far as I could see. The material beneath our feet changed all kinds of colours, emitting a rainbow shimmer. Lifting my gaze, my eyes were met with the sight of a beautiful, out of gold made city. It was extraordinary and beautiful, the palace in the centre dominating, highest of all the other buildings. The sky above our heads was turning a soft shade between pink and blue, the few puffy clouds scattered over it's infinite surface. The sun was setting behind the horizon, making the city even more beautiful in the orange beams of light. "This is beautiful." I breathed out, looking back at Loki, who smiled at me with pride.  
  
"This is Asgard." He informed me, looking back ahead of him. "It's where I come from. My father-" His smile faded; "Odin rules Asgard and my brother or I will once inherit the throne." He explained and I nodded at his words.   
  
"How did we get here?" I asked, taking a step forward, but I suddenly started falling, the golden city and rainbow bridge disappearing as I started falling back through the darkness. A scream tore my throat, echoing all around, the panic overwhelming me as I fell through an infinite abyss. I was sure I would've never hit the bottom, though Loki caught me out of nowhere before I could make sure. I breathed heavily as he held me tight to his chest, trying to calm me down after the sudden shock. His embrace was weirdly comfortable and welcoming, making me not want to pull away.  
  
"It was an illusion." He answers my previously set question. "It wasn't real, I just wanted to show you." My eyelids fluttered shut as I took in a deep breath, trying to slow my racing heartbeat down. "Are you alright?" He gently pushed me away from his torso, keeping his hands on my shoulders.  
  
I looked up at him, nodding rapidly. "T-thank you for saving me." I said, feeling my cheeks heat up. "You didn't tell me why is everything dark." I reminded him, looking over my shoulder. But everything was still pitch black.  
  
"The inside of your mind is still damaged, you still don't have the power to control your abilities." He stepped away, waving his hands all around. "But once you have the control of all the power you possess... You will be able to seek any part of the universe with your mind. Until then, it will stay like this. Also, I will be the one to contact you."  
  
I frowned, shaking my head slightly. "Why would you contact me?" I questioned, waiting for an answer. He sighed, sitting down on the ground. I followed his movement, sitting barely two feet away.  
  
"Because you need my help." Loki finally said after a few silent moments. I laughed at that, making him confused in the process.  
  
"I don't need anybody's help." I tell him and he huffs in annoyance. Perhaps it wasn't smart to piss off a god. "I mean, don't get me wrong, but I don't want more power. I'm fine with what I have already, thank you." I tell him and he laughs at me, making me feel both angry and embarrassed at the same time.  
  
"You are so selfish when it comes to your powers, Valerie." He says, taking off his helmet and setting it aside. His hair, greasy, was coal black and a stray lock fell over his face, making me reflexively reach and tuck it behind his ear. The action surprised him, but he carried on with talking, trying not to make it too awkward. "You have a purpose to fulfil, your power was given to you with reason. The universe has it's way of functioning and I am here to help you complete your part."  
  
"Why do I matter to the universe?" I sighed, looking away into the darkness. The universe had to pick me, exclusively, a damaged, suicidal human being that didn't have any control over their powers until two months ago.  
  
"I don't know." He replied and I nodded, understanding that he couldn't know everything, even though a part of me couldn't believe that a god didn't have all the answers.  
  
There was a comfortable silence between us, maybe because he was trying to help all the information sink in and let me think for a moment. But everything that came to my mind were questions, more and more of them. Why did he not want Tony to manipulate me? How can I go places through my mind? What was, at the end, my purpouse? Will I die after I complete my task? All of the doubt, curiousity and even fear made me even more tired, but I fought the urge to close my eyes vigorously.  
  
I was about to speak to Loki again, when the ground beneath us buckled suddenly and I jumped right to my feet. "What's happening?" I asked, hysterically looking around me. I returned my gaze to where Loki was, but he was there no more and I panicked even more. The ground shook again, causing me to lose my balance and fall onto my knees. I screamed, feeling the earthquake once more as tears of horror slipped down my face.   
  
I felt nauseous, doubling over and almost throwing up, but I had no time for that, since I woke up as soon as I blinked.


	4. 4 | GOODMORNING

I jolted upwards, sitting in my bed and breathing heavily while feeling the sweat run down the side of my face. The light hurt my eyes and I was feeling uncomfortable all over as I felt the damp shirt stick to my back. I looked around, realizing that I was in my bedroom, in my bed instead on the couch. Though, I wasn't in my sleepwear, which meant that Stark must've carried me to my bed.  
  
I huffed at the thought, standing up and feeling my body ache all over. The sun was already high up and I checked the time, finding out that it was noon already. The shock paralyzed me and the panic made my heartbeat speed up, I was late for work. Tragically so.   
  
I stumbled through my room, putting on my working uniform and rushing out of my bedroom to quickly eat something. But the sight of what- or rather who- I found in the kitchen startled me even more. The man that came to visit me the night before was there, trying desperately to flip a pancake. "Goodmorning." He smiled at me. "I thought you might be hungry so I made pancakes." He said and I looked at the stack of pancakes that was to my right.  
  
"Why are you still here?" I asked, flinching as I realized how rude that sounded. He let out a short laugh, placing the pancake he was currently cooking onto the stack of others. "Uh, I have to go to work. I-"  
  
"No. You don't." Tony shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. "Your boss called." He told me casually, making me even more panicked than I already was. "I told him you won't be coming in today."  
  
"Are you insane?" I huffed, my hands shaking. I was going to get fired as soon as I place my foot in that restaurant. "You know, some people can't have the luxury of sitting on their asses the whole day while the money just magically pours into their pockets. I have to make a living and that job was my only income." I growled at him as he looked at me, completely calm.   
  
He sighed, glancing at the food he just made. "Are you done? Because the pancakes are getting cold..."   
  
"You just got me fired! And no- I'm not done! I still hate my fucking life and you saved me. For what? So I can be depressed and miserable even without other people's thoughts destroying my brain?" I rambled. "You have no damn idea how I feel." I felt the tears pool in my eyes, my vision getting blurry. I turned around, walking out of the kitchen. All of this seemed too much at the moment and Stark was not helping. He was probably the biggest problem.   
  
I sat on the couch with my face in my hands for a few moments, wondering why the hell didn't I jump again after Iron Man left, after what I felt a hand land on my shoulder. It was a soft, friendly gesture which I never expected, nor hoped for, from a man like Tony Stark. I very much wanted to shrug it off, but something about the action was soothing, even though I didn't want to admit it to myself in the moment.   
  
"Your boss said it was fine. I'm not stupid, Valerie, I wouldn't get you fired." He said and in that moment I broke down, sobbing my lungs out. He pulled me closer to him, wrapping his hands around my shaking figure and I decided to let myself feel safe for just a moment. "It's okay." He whispered into my hair, hugging me firmly.   
  
I cried for a while, letting all of my pent-up feelings out through tears. It was a good feeling, finally having somebody to be there while I was having one of my many emotional breakdowns. I calmed down after some time, feeling my throat hurt and eyes itch. Tony let me rest my forehead on his shoulder, my face buried in his chest. Even after I stopped crying, we stayed like that for a while, just enjoying each others company.  
  
"Thank you." I murmured and finally returned the hug as I felt the courage to speak without stuttering. Tony tensed up at my sudden action, sighing after a second and relaxing into the hug. "I'm sorry I reacted like that, I'm just a mess." I excused my behavior, pulling back and separating myself from him.  
  
"It's okay, we all have our bad days." He nodded, looking at the kitchen door and standing up. I followed his movement. "I'm gonna- The pancakes are getting cold and I really tried-"  
  
"You tried your best, sorry." I sighed. "I'm going to go wash myself and then I'll join you. You go ahead and eat." I told him and he gave me a short thumbs up in agreement. As fast as possible, I went into my room and into the master bathroom connected to it.  
  
I groaned, stripping off my clothes and getting into the shower, immediately turning on the hottest water possible. Feeling the extremely heated liquid roll down my body, I found the bravery to calm myself down for a moment, forgetting everything. But that didn't exactly work.  
  
I remembered the dream I had- or was it a dream? The man that introduced himself as a god. Perhaps he was a god, but what could I know? I barely interact with other people, Stark was the first person I talked to in weeks, except my coworkers which I'm practically forced to be nice to if I want to keep my job. But what if Loki was right, what if I possessed unimaginable amount of power that I was yet to learn to use? I certainly wasn't ready for that kind of thing, considering that I had to get my life in order first. Not to mention that I never wanted it. I needed to contact him, but how? Even he said himself I won't be able to do so and I was well aware of it, but still I was so impatient to ask more questions as I had a whole lot.  
  
I sighed, breathing in the steamy air and rushing to finish the shower, quickly getting out and dressing up. I tied my hair up in a messy bun, going back into the kitchen where Stark was already stuffing himself with the pancakes. "They're delicious." He tried his best speaking with his mouth full.  
  
"Yeah..." I rolled my eyes, sitting down at the bar that was open towards the living room. "Give me some." I said and took the plate with the rest of pancakes. The meal looked nice enough, but when I took a bite, I had an extreme urge to throw up. "These are salty!"   
  
"Right, I accidentally confused sugar for salt and spilled too much of it." He scratched the back of his neck and I frowned in disgust, forcing myself to swallow the salty piece of pancake in my mouth. "But they aren't that bad? I mean, you can still eat them, right?"  
  
"No. No you can't." I shook my head, pouring myself a glass of water and chugging down half of it in an attempt to wash away the awful flavour. "You tried your best, though, so thanks I guess."  
  
"You welcome." He nodded, a lazy smile spread over his lips in pride. I huffed and resisted the urge to smile back, acting as if I was annoyed.  
  
"I'll make us both a sandwich, since you used up all of my flour." I directed a stern look towards him and he raised his hands in surrender.  
  
"Sorry I tried to do something nice for you." He rolled his eyes, heavy on sarcasm. I shook my head, taking out the ingredients I needed. A few moments passed in silence as I cut up the cheese, bread and salad.  
  
"Did you sleep well, I mean, I guess you slept on the couch so-" I rambled, suddenly getting nervous, but he interrupted me before I could have an actual panic attack, being the dumbass that I was.  
  
"It was okay, it was comfortable enough. Don't worry about it too much." He said calmly, appearing next to me and beginning to make his own sandwich.  
  
I glanced at his clumsy hands trying to make up a decent sandwich, but he couldn't even do that by himself. "Do you ever even cook for yourself?" I grumbled, looking my patience and booing him away from the counter and back onto his seat.  
  
"No, I usually have someone do that for me."  
  
"Yeah, you're rich so you don't have to."  
  
"True."  
  
"Well I have to make my own food myself, so here, I present to you the best sandwich you'll ever see." I handed him the plate, but he hesitated, looking at it.  
  
"You know, I don't really like being handed things-"  
  
"For God's sake just take the damn plate!" I cried out impatiently and he quickly snatched the plate from my hand, surprised by my sudden reaction. "Sorry, but that was a really stupid excuse."  
  
He rolled his eyes, taking a bite of the sandwich. "This is delicious." He moaned and I smirked, proud that he liked it.  
  
"What can I say, I'm amazing." I smiled at myself.  
  
"I thought you were going to say delicious." He laughed at his childish comment and I rolled my eyes, hitting his shoulder.  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
After we ate our breakfast and then talked for an hour and half, Tony stood up fron his seat and sighed. "Ugh, I have to go now, but I'll see you again?" He asked and I made myself make a quick decision over it, deciding I'd let myself get to know him a bit better.  
  
"Sure." I agreed as I escorted him through the apartment and unlocked the door so he can leave. "Wait should I give you my number or-" I asked.  
  
"No, just shine a giant light up in the sky as a signal for me to come over." He said and I looked at him with a frown. "Of course you should give me your number." He sighed and gave me his phone and I dialed in my number, handing him the device back.  
  
"Right, then..." I smiled. "See you soon, I guess."  
  
"Sure, see you." He nodded, turning away and walking down the hallway. 


	5. 5 | TRIP TO DC

I lay on my couch with an unhealthy amount of popcorn and a large bottle of cola resting next to me on the couch. The Stark Expo began already a few hours ago, but because of work I failed to watch live the spectacle Tony put up to satisfy his ego. He asked of me to come and be his guest with access to the backstage, but I didn't feel like going since I'm not fond of overcrowded places. Of course, he understood that.

It didn't take much for the two of us to become closer and see each other three or four times a week. Surprisingly, he was very nice to me and not really that much of a douchebag that I was well aware he can be. Sure, there were some sarcastic and inappropriate remarks, but the two of us became friends and I began to ease off, finding myself making snarky comments in some situations myself.

The news report was just about to play on the screen of my TV, but the doorbell rang and I jolted up in surprise, not really expecting it. I rushed over to answer the door, smoothing my clothes out in the process. I drew in a deep breath and twisted the key in the lock.

I was greeted by the sight of no one other than Stark, who obviously came right from the expo to visit me. "Did you watch it?" He asked right away, sliding past me into my apartment. "Tell me you watched it."

"I was about to." I said and he groans, rolling his eyes. Sometimes, but pretty frequently, he acted like a big child. And it was sometimes, less frequently, funny but it could be irritating to an extent where I'd want to hit him right over his genius head. "Look, I gotta work, Tony. I couldn't watch it live." I sighed, walking over to sit back on the couch after I locked the door to my apartment.

The news were still on, the blonde woman on the TV talking excitedly about Tony's expo that " _Will last all year long, can you believe it?!_ " She said, even though it was a television news article. I listened to the lady for a few moments, but then realized it was oddly quiet and glanced at Tony. He was standing on the other side of the coffee table, his hands in his pockets. I could sense that he was upset for some reason, he was never this quiet when I was around, but I couldn't let myself read his mind since I promised not to. It was an easy promise to keep our friendship going.

The staring contest between us lasted for over thirty seconds, before he sighed and glanced at the glowing screen on the wall. "I have to go to DC now." Tony informed me, making me frown and sit up so I can pay better attention. "It's the Senate Armed Service Committee.  I have to be before them tomorrow, 9 AM. They're probably trying to bust my ass for the suits. I mean, they can't have them, that's for sure."

I huffed, shaking my head. "Why do I have this feeling you're going to screw around?" I asked him and he smiled at me, so full of himself. "Because you are, aren't you?" I conclude, standing up and walking towards the kitchen. He trails behind me, leaning against the counter once we are there.

"Look, don't worry. I won't fuck anything up. I'll be careful." He told me, trying to sound genuine, but I know how he isn't and I know that he will make a debacle out of tomorrows committee. It's not hard to determine what an ass he truly is. But I guess I dug in too deep since I actually care if he makes an idiot of himself and loses all of his tech. I give him a stern look and he looks at me with puppy eyes, trying to soften me up and stop me from worrying.

"You can be a handful, Anthony." I grumbled, taking an ice cream out of the fridge. He groaned, hating the fact that I just called him Anthony. He hates that but I can't get enough of how irritated he looks when I do so. There is just a satisfying tone to it that I can't get rid of.

"Quit calling me Anthony, you sound like my mother." He ordered, but i just shrugged and went back into the living room. "I came by to see how you're doing and I- uh... What are you doing?" He chuckled as I attempted to open the container with ice cream, but failed miserably as I realized the lid was stuck. "Give that to me." He grabbed the pack from my hands, making me yelp in protest and proceeded to open it immediately. "Was that so hard?" He asked sassily and I rolled my eyes as I took the ice cream back from him.

"Yeah, thank you, Iron Man, for saving me. I don't know what would I do without you." I said and he smirked to himself, taking my words a bit too serious perhaps. But it fits his ego so he took it, no matter the sarcasm. "So am I going with you to DC or not?"

His eyes widened. An expression of shock flashed over his mimic and I could see through it, I could see that he's scared. But why? "Did you just-" He stammered. "Did you read my mind?" He questioned, squinting his eyes at me and cocking his head to the side.

"No!" I laughed, a bit nervous. Did he not trust me?

"Because that's what we agreed we won't do, you reading my mind- it's just-" He gestured to his head with his hand, keeping the other one tucked into the pocket of his suit. "Uncomfortable." He finally spat out after the second of forced silence.

"I didn't, okay?" I replied defensively. "Jesus, do I need to explain to you that I don't use my powers on you?" I rambled. "I mean, I'm sorry if my powers make you uncomfortable, but I really don't use them on you, I swear-"

"Valerie." Tony stopped me from talking myself into an unnecessary panic attack. "It's fine, I know you don't use your powers on me. You don't have to apologize." He assured me, sitting down and putting his hand on my shoulder. His eyes are directed right into mine and I feel myself calm down because I know he's serious now. He cares. I sighed and he pulled me in for a hug to calm my nerves. "Try not to worry so much, okay?"

I nodded and he nodded too, the silence overwhelming the whole room making our breaths the only, barely audible sound. "Well, are we going to DC or not?" I finally snapped away from the daze that made me lightheaded. It was already so late and I was tired from work, but I kept myself as awake as I could've been.

"Ugh, you have work-" He said, but I shook my head. "Right, call in sick tomorrow and pack your bags, be ready for us to pick you up at six in the morning." He planned out in a second, telling me all of it first hand.

"Great." I grinned at him, getting a smile in return. "See you tomorrow."

* * *

 I was not pleased about having to wake up that early to go to a boring Armed Service Committee, being on verge of calling Tony and canceling it. But considering that I'm not like  _him,_ I got out of the bed and showered, dressing up for the occasion and going out of my apartment after I ate the breakfast. I'm in front of my building right on time, seeing Tony's expensive car right ahead of me.

"Morning." I said groggily as I sat myself on the smooth leather of the Mercedes, sighing as I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. The whole group was there, Tony, Pepper and Happy all ready and looking like they woke up ages ago. "How am I the only one here that looks like I just got hit by a truck?"

"You don't. You look magnificent." Happy said, who's at the wheel, joining in the busy street. "Good to see you, after- what's it been? Few years maybe..." He glanced at me in the rear-view mirror. I rolled my eyes as Tony laughed next to me. 

"I've been busy. I have my own life you know." I grumbled, crossing my arms over my chest, and looked outside the window next to me.

"Don't listen to Happy, it's really good to see you." Pepper added, her smile audible through her voice. I appreciated it, because she was the one that I knew I could always rely on to not be a jerk. Perhaps because she wasn't a  _man_ , or it was just something else.

We talked about vary of things before the space got quiet and I zoned out, trying to miss everything Pepper had to lecture Tony about that was connected to their business. I eventually completely dozed off, slipping into the darkness of my own sleep.

_"Good morning, Valerie." The muffled voice says before I meet with the familiar man, or rather god, that stands in front of me. He's wearing a smile over his lips, his gaze soft as usual. I smile back, feeling happy that I'm finally seeing him after the long pause of two weeks without seeing each other. He'd usually contact me every two or three days, but there was a longer pause this time and I already started worrying._

_"Hi." I greeted him, not able to sustain myself from smiling and he realizes it, letting out a soft chuckle. I'm surprisingly thrilled to see him, which seems to be a mutual feeling. Even though I never could really know if the whole thing with Loki was real, I still enjoyed every minute of it nonetheless._

_We end up laying sprawled over the grass, staring at the universe hanging above us. He taught me how to change the ambient whenever we meet, considering the fact that it was my own mind. Sometimes he'd take the initiative, changing the darkness into Asgard with a promise that I'll once be able to visit him there. I take it with a smile every time and hope that he's telling the truth._

_"My brother is going to be a king soon." He suddenly says and I don't know how to feel about that, registering the monotone note in his voice. I turn my head to look at him, but he's intently staring at the stars, hoping to ignore my confusion. "I had to help with preparations for the ceremony, that's why we couldn't talk. I apologize."_

_"Oh, don't." I sigh, looking away from his side profile. " It's your brother. You should be there for him." I say, thinking of how his brother looked like and was he anything like Loki. Thor. Though the god next to me rarely talked about his older sibling, I gathered that either he talked with great excitement and awe or a bit of jealousy threading through his words. But it was nothing unusual, just an ordinary siblings relationship._

_"Thank you for understanding." Loki replies and I can see him propping himself up on his elbows. "Do you have a brother of your own?" He asked, a topic that never came up before. We've talked about a lot of things, but he never got to ask about my family. I thought about it and not even Tony knew much about my family, which was maybe good._

_"No, I don't." I exhale sharply, preparing myself for what was about to happen. I trusted Loki not to pressure me into talking about something I didn't want to talk about, but I couldn't hide the things about my family forever. "But I had a sister. For a while, I guess..."_

_"What happened?" He frowned, sitting up and looking down at me. He looked genuinely concerned, his lips only barely parted in expectation. I looked away from his face, trying to be as calm as I can, though it's not entirely possible._

_"She died. Lung cancer." I answered quietly. "She was only four and I was six when they told me the doctors couldn't save her. I mean, I barely knew her, but I still wonder what would've it been like if I had a sister growing up, you know? It wasn't fair that she had to go so soon." I shrugged, fiddling the edge of my shirt between my fingers._

_"I'm sorry to hear that. But I assure you, she found peace." He tells me with a sad smile and I smile back at him, feeling the tears gather at the edge of my eyes, threatening to spill out at any given moment. I blink aggressively, looking away from Loki once again. I sniffle, sitting up. The gentle breeze that has been present all throughout our little get together gets rougher, tugging at my hair and clothes, making me slightly dizzy. It was time to say goodbye. "I think I should go." I inform Loki and he nods in agreement._

_"Farewell, we will meet again soon enough." He smiles, disappearing as soon as I blinked. There was a slight grumble somewhere in the distance and the ground softly shook beneath me and soon everything was gone into the blackness of my own mind._

I jolted awake as we turned a sharp corner, stopping in the middle of a traffic jam. Maybe I should've slept a bit longer...


	6. 6 | THE MORE YOU KNOW, THE WORSE

  We were stuck in the traffic jam for exactly eight minutes and Happy wasn't completely happy about that. "Go ahead, you assholes!" He shouted for the hundredth time already, violently pressing the horn. I sighed, looking outside to the other cars in attempt to find something interesting to look at. But there was nothing except the infinite number of cars and irritated drivers who only wanted to get to their destination. I was bored out of my mind and didn't have much to think about except the encounter with Loki I had not even twenty minutes ago.

 He was the only secret I hid from Tony. Even though Tony believed me about my powers and didn't think I'm actually crazy, but I wasn't sure he would believe me if I told him about Loki. I mean, a god? Stark could never believe me. He would just distance himself from me and I don't want that to happen. The things I tell him are already crazy enough, this would only overstep it.

 "We're going to be late." Pepper said panicked and I looked at Tony who was looking through his window, completely occupied by his thoughts. He was unexpectedly calm for this type of situation and it just wasn't right. I knew something was going on. "Can you somehow get out of this mess?" The redhead on the seat in front of me asked.

 "Even if we are late, I don't think people expected anything else." I told them halfheartedly and Tony grunted, making noise for the first time since I woke up. "What are they going to say about me anyway? The public never saw me with Tony." I asked, making myself a bit nervous. The whole thing is going to cause so much fuss, it was just the matter of time the press is going to show up in front of my apartment building taking photos and asking what kind of relationship do I have with Tony Stark.

 Everybody was silent for a moment, the faint horning sounds being the only ones disturbing the deafening silence that was all around. "You already know what's going to happen." Tony suddenly spoke. "They're going to say we're romantically involved. It's what they always do."

"Right." I took in a deep breath. "I hope I'm ready for it." I murmured, not really wanting anyone to hear it. The space around us became quiet once again, for a few moments being only like that before the cars around us finally started moving and we along with them. I looked at the time on my phone and we were luckily going to make it. Luckily.

* * *

"I've successfully privatised world peace!" Tony says all full of himself, throwing up a peace sign for the cheering crowd. I sigh, clapping my hands, happy that this was over. He walks over to Pepper and me and both of us stand up, walking behind him outside of the meeting room. The press is everywhere and they keep asking questions, making too much noise. Happy is in front the three of us, pushing through the crowd towards the exit.

At some point, someone pulls me by the wrist and I stumble backwards, my heart skipping a beat in my chest. "Excuse me, what's your relationship with Mr. Stark?" A blonde haired woman asks, nudging a small recorder in front of my face. 

"We're just friends." I reply and try to get back to my friends, but she keeps asking me other questions. "No further comment." I say, trying to get my wrist free, but she only grips it tighter, her nails digging into my skin. I wince at the pain, opening my mouth to speak again, but the lady suddenly lets go off me.

"She said no further comment, did you not hear her?" Tony snaps at the lady. "And you better apologize, because I can destroy your career, blondie." He says and the woman apologizes and gets lost in the crowd behind her after what Stark drags me outside of the building.

"Are you okay?" He asks once we're outside. I nod, still in shock, but manage to calm my racing heartbeat. He looks at me for a second longer before nodding himself and patting my shoulder. "It'll be okay, don't worry."

We sit in the car and I glance outside to the raging press before returning my eyes onto Tony. "I messed up didn't I?" I bit my lip. "I should've told her to fuck off, I'm so stupid."

"Listen, it's not your fault at all." Tony puts his hand on mine. "You did nothing, that bitch has no boundaries, obviously." He huffs and I notice the silence that comes from the front seats, pulling my hand away slowly and giving Tony a small smile. He doesn't say anything, just turns his head and looks outside the window.

"Uh, Valerie, do you want to come over with us to Malibu, it'd be nice to catch up after all this time." Pepper asks me and I doubt for a moment before accepting the offer. I usually didn't visit Tony's mansion in Malibu, but I've been there a few times so I wasn't unfamiliar. Tony and i would usually make a mess out of his workshop, only because he wanted to make whatever stupid device I make up. Last time I helped him make a mixer that you can turn on through Bluetooth. It didn't exactly work, so it just exploded and caused the fire department to show up.

* * *

"I'll go check on Tony." I tell Pepper and she nods. After we've arrived at the mansion, Tony spent barely half an hour with me and Pepper after what he got lost downstairs in his workshop. I walk through the shiny house, quickly making my way down the short set of stairs and in front of Tony's workshop. I see him do something with his arc reactor and I quickly type in my passcode, entering the room without a warning.

"Miss Adler, you shouldn't be here." JARVIS warns me and my heart starts beating faster, knowing something was up. And it isn't good. Tony turns around, the device that's supposed to be in his chest resting firmly in his hand. I gasp, seeing the black veins around the reactor's supposed place.

"Tony-" I feel my hands shake and my head pound. "What is that?  _Oh my god_." I panic, making quick steps towards him as he tries dropping his shirt down to cover his chest, but I yank it back up. "Tell me it isn't that bad."

"It isn't that bad. It really isn't." He tells me and I look him into his eyes, full of fear and panic too. I bit my lip and let myself do the only thing I shouldn't. I concentrate and read his mind for only a couple of seconds, but that's all I needed. I feel my knees go weak and my eyes tear up. 

"You're dying." I say, my voice cracking as he puts the reactor back and pulls his shirt down. "Tony, I-" I groan and turn around, my heart threatening to rip my rib cage and jump out. Trying to calm myself down, I wipe away my tears and turn back to Tony who's sitting silently and staring away in a random direction. "What's going on? You better tell me, because you know damn well that-"

"I am dying, okay?" He suddenly snaps at me and I feel like there's no oxygen in my lungs because Tony's eyes are full of tears now and his voice is shaking. I've never seen him like this and it breaks my heart several times in a second. "The arc reactor is slowly poisoning me and my blood is getting more and more toxic, I-I can't find a substitute for the palladium core. Basically I don't know what to do and..." He sighs through his nose, clenching his jaw. "I'm screwed." A tear slips from his eye and he's quick to wipe it away.

"Oh my god, Tony." Every inch of my being trembles and I feel like the world is crumbling into pieces right this moment. "Jesus, fuck." I wipe away my own tears, trying to hold it in and be reassuring, but I'm too weak for that. He presses the heels of his hands to his eyes, his breath shaking as he breathes in. I shake my head and pull him up for a hug. "We'll figure something out, okay? You're not going to die, not on my watch." 

He nodded, wrapping his arms around me and hugging me tight as he buried his face into my shoulder. I tried not to cry even more as he let out quiet sobs into the material of my T-shirt, still holding onto me as if for dear life. He cried for a couple of minutes, letting everything out. Once he was done he pulled away, giving me a weak smile and looking away. I squeezed his shoulder and sighed.

"We will find the substitute, don't worry." I assure him, trying to make him feel a bit better. It pained me so bad seeing him like this, but it was better for him to let it out than hold it in. "Does Pepper know?"

"No, no she doesn't. And we can't tell her." He says and I want to argue, but he shakes his head as if to stop me. "I know what you want to say, but please don't tell he until we're certain we can't find the replacement for palladium."

I doubt for a second, but agree. "Fine. But if we-" I swallow. "-don't find it, you promise to tell her?" I look into his eyes and he nods without hesitation. But I hope with all that I've got that we will find the replacement. I can't let him die after he saved my life. It just can't happen. He sighs again and JARVIS suddenly speaks.

"Sir, Ms. Potts is approaching. She will be down here any minute."


	7. 7 | MEETING THE UNUSUAL

I narrow my eyes at Tony who's positioned in an upright stance, ready for me to make my move. At precisely the time I swing my padded fist at him, Pepper walks in, saying something about the notary. Since Tony made her the CEO of Stark Industries, he had more free time than ever, which meant the two of us had all the time in the world to do stupid things. Like teaching me how to fly one of his suits.

"Keep your eyes on me." He grumbles and hits the side of my face with enough impact to make me founder. I press my lips in a thin line, swiftly stepping forward and punching him in the forehead, making him stumble backwards a few steps. He huffs and smiles at me, shaking his head and positioning himself back in the stance. I smirk at him, on my tiptoes and ready to respond to his next move, easy on my feet.

But as soon as he's ready to throw his punch at me, my focus drops and all of my attention slips away to the beautiful, red headed woman that walks in. The redhead looks right into my eyes and I feel like the whole world spins around. I quickly look away, feeling the heat gather in my cheeks, to see Tony also intently staring at the newcomer.

The woman doesn't even look at him, walking up to Potts and showing her some files. I tap the back of Tony's head and he whips it around, looking at me with a smirk on his face. "Who is she?" He asks me and I shrug, trying to play it cool. "Why are you blushing?" The billionaire in front of me frowns and I feel my face burn, my eyes darting away. "You aren't actually-"

"What? No- I mean- Shut up." I say and punch his shoulder, biting my lip and trying to stop my heartbeat from speeding up. But that doesn't happen because Tony lets out a short, mischievious chuckle before turning around and starting a rather short conversation with the redheaded woman.

"What's your name lady?" He asks and the redhead smirks, glancing at me and then answering, with her chin up and radiating confidence.

"Rushman." She tells us. "Natalie Rushman." My breath catches in my throat as she looks at me again with piercing eyes. I felt like everything fell completely silent in that moment, my surrounding unmoved as I spent the eternity gazing into her green eyes. Tony nods at her and motions for her to come over.

"Front and center." He says, lifting one of the ropes. "Come into the church." He demands, making Pepper give him a stern look. I look at him too, the shock probably visible on my face. he looked at me for a brief moment, giving me a wink and turning back to the other two women.

"You're seriously not gonna ask her-" His former assistant starts but he cuts her off.

"If it pleases the court. Which it does." He answers, making Pepper look more annoyed than she already was. Though, Natalie obliges, making her way over to the ring. I follow her movement, but she isn't looking at me now, focusing her eyes on Tony this time. Pepper sighs in the back, finding her place on one of the beige chairs behind her.

Tony takes his bottle with the liquid he was supposed to drink to reduce his symptoms and takes an exaggerated few gulps of it, dragging out the silence on purpose. Natalie was completely calm, waiting for Tony to finish drinking. Somehow she didn't seem awkward, only he did and that made him weirdly clumsy. "Give her a lesson." He commands me, slipping out of the ring and walking over to Pepper before I could argue.

The notary turns to me with a small smile on her face and I try my best to smile back at her. "Right, so have you boxed before?" I ask her and she nods silently. "Okay, then- show me." I tell her and she lets out a satisfied huff, taking her stance and looking at me with piercing eyes.

I gasp unintentionally and try to cover it by also readying myself. I can practically see the confidence oozing off of her and I can't think of anything but that I'm impressed. Everything seemed to happen so slow, but I decided to, just for a second, read her mind. And, oh, what I had to find.

"You're not Natalie Rushman." I whisper in shock. Her eyes widen and she straightens herself. "You're Natasha Romanoff." My breath hitches when I realize that she knows me too, but she still hadn't recognized who I am. She just knows that there's a person, the one with ability to read minds, which she needs to bring back to the organisation. Perhaps, I've given myself away now.

"You can read my mind can't you?" Natalie, or rather _Natasha,_ asks getting back into the stance, making a step forward. "You can't tell anybody."

"I know that." I reply, swinging a punch at her but she easily blocks it, swinging her own fist at me. I take the blow, feeling my right cheek hurt from the impact, and she smirks at me. "But what you don't know-" I pause as I try to punch her. "-is that I have no interest in joining your organisation."

"You still can't tell Stark anything." She tells me in a low voice, stopping my fist and wrapping her hand around it. Then she proceeded to, somehow, quickly jump up and trap my neck between her thighs, rotating me over and slamming my body on the ground. "I'll be in touch with you." She informs me as I struggle to get free, hearing Pepper scream in shock.

"Sure." I mumble as she lets me go and we both stand up. I look at her from the side of my eye, trying to focus and Tony and Pepper who are asking me if I was okay. "Yeah, just slipped." I replied and they huffed with annoyance in their expressions.

Natasha makes her way out of the ring, turning her attention to Tony. "I need your impression." She informs him, but he doesn't get what she means right away; rather thinking for a quick second before starting a rant about what he thinks about her. "I meant your fingerprint..." She says, smiling at him as he stumbled his words, feeling embarrassed all of the sudden.

"How's it going?" Pepper asks, looking at Tony with an expectant smile. I just sat down on the edge of the ring, drinking my protein smoothie, waiting for their business to be over so Tony and I can go back to boxing.

"Just wrapping up." Tony mumbled and pressed his thumb to the paper, leaving an ink mark. "You're the boss." He pointed to it. I sighed, trying to drive their attention to me and make them finish everything more quickly. Maybe that came off as rude, but I had nothing other to do.

"Would that be all, Mr. Stark?" Natasha smiles at Tony, obviously trying to play with him. I squint my eyes at her, tilting my head to the side, but she (luckily) doesn't notice it since she's too occupied playing games with Tony, without him even knowing it.

"No." Tony says but Pepper rushes to say the actual answer.

"Yes. Miss Rushman, that would be all. Thank you very much." The strawberry blonde told the redhead. I watched Natasha nod and stroll away out of the room, observing her every movement as I sipped on my drink. She was strongly desirable, but I couldn't trust her, not when being Pepper's assistant was only a part of her undercover task.

"I want one." Tony says to Pepper, barely even joking.

"No." Pepper shakes her head and I can't help but laugh.

* * *

Darkness. It's so strangely welcoming that I sigh in relief. I expect of him to show up any second now, since he kept me waiting for a few minutes already. I've become fond of the blackness that surrounded me, relaxing my eyes that couldn't focuse at anything in particular. But maybe I eased off too soon.

There is a slight change in temperature, the air around me heats up unexpectedly, making me confused and suddenly lost. This has never happened before, not when Loki was here. Also- he was never late. There was no doubt that I wasn't expecting the god I usually talked with. This time I was waiting for someone different.

He showed up with a loud crash, the white light behind him shining in attempt to blind me, but I shield my eyes, able to somehow make out the giant shape of the man before me. As soon as the light faded, my sight was met with the appearance of a human like creature. Though, his skin was purple and his size too large for a human. The look on his face seemed demanding, he was obviously here for something.

"Good evening, my child." His voice sounded surprisingly soothing, considering how extremely large he was. He tried making his way towards me, but I stepped back reflexively, keeping my distance. I wondered if Loki was coming, at last, and will save me from this uncomfortably intimidating situation.

"Who are you?" I spoke, trying to sound at least a bit confident. "And where is Loki?" He looked down at me, his face softening for a moment. I could tell that he knew I was scared. He shook his head as if to tell me Loki wasn't coming. Was he never coming back again?

"Don't fear, my child. I'm only here to help." He said, kneeling down on one knee and extending his large arm towards me. "Let me show you." His eyes met mine and I found myself trusting him, even though I didn't know who or _what_ he was for that matter. But something drew me to him, the strange force that made me both curious and intimidated at the same time.

I slowly moved my fairly smaller hand and placed it into his, my skin softly brushing his purple palm. As soon as our hands made even a bit of contact, the blackness around us exploded into colour. An infinite amount of stars, countless galaxies, planets and fields of asteroids were all around us. My eyes widened at the spectacular mixes of flashy colours, never having enough of the magnificent picture.

"This is wonderful." I gasped, gazing all through the universe, trying to inspect every single little star that was present. The purple being in front of me smiled, his eyes glittering at the sight of everything that was around the two of us.

"Do you see it? The beauty of the universe? You could posses the power to see any part of this-" he gestures to the galaxies and planets, "-with your mind." Pointing his finger at me, he gives me a small smile. "I am here to teach you. You would be just as powerful as me, one day. What do you think, my child?"

It takes me a few seconds before I finally realize what was happening, pulling my hand back suddenly, the stars and planets disappearing instantly. "I don't even know who are you." My breath hitches as he stands back up to his full size, my heart skipping a beat as he looked down at me.

"I am Thanos." He tells me. "And I can help you control your powers." I shake my head, rubbing my eyes. _My powers?_ I was already completely in control of my powers, there was no voices in my head constantly that would make me go insane again.

"But I have my powers in control already. I don't need your help." I reply and he laughs, the sound of it echoing through the darkness. "What's so funny?"

"You don't know how tiny you are, but if you let me teach you _more_ about your abilities, you would be able to control even _more_ power than you already have." He clenched his fist, full of confidence. I raise my eyebrows at him.

" _More_?" I ask and he nods, smiling again. "What more is there to have? I already know the extent of my abilities, you're saying there's more of it which I don't know?"

He huffs. "Have you been listening to me?" Thanos rolls his eyes. "That's what I was saying from the beginning."

I chuckle at his response, trying not to burst into laughter. _Inappropriate, inappropriate._ I thought. "Fine. What do I have to lose?" I agree, but I have a lot more to lose than I thought.

"Magnificent." He practically glows from excitement. "I will meet you again." He nods at me and I return the nod, watching as he turned around and started walking away; slowly disappearing.


	8. 8 | NO CONTROL

  I bite my lip. Drum my fingertips against my knee.  
  
  The people gathered in front of the hotel are screaming, jumping and violently waving their hands as we pull up to the entrance.  
  
 Tony glances at both me and Pepper quickly before he and Happy exit the car, Tony opening the door for me and Happy opening the door for Pepper. My anxiety doesn't let me breathe properly as we walk past the crowd and inside of the hotel. All of the people we pass look at us, especially me, whispering and gasping as they watched us walk away. "This was a bad idea, Tony. Why would I be here?" I whisper to my friend and he huffs, shaking his head and attempting to squeeze my shoulder but I dodge his hand, trying to keep people from taking pictures and then sharing them with wrong context.  
  
 The last time I was with Tony in public, for the Armed Service Committee, my face was blasted over the news, questions like 'is this the end of tony stark's playboy days?' or 'who's the mysterious woman tony stark was seen with?' following in the headlines. The tabloids didn't exactly take it easy, having published articles about my involvement with Tony for full two weeks. Perhaps I was overreacting, but I can't help but feel exposed and vulnerable in situations like these, since I have to deal with my anxiety even without being in the spotlight.  
  
 "It wasn't a bad idea, you're my friend and I wanted you to come with me. Don't worry so much." He mumbles back before him and Pepper stop to take a picture as I slip past them, avoiding the camera as much as possible. I was ready to head straight for the bar, but earlier than I could do so I spotted the very familiar redheaded woman. She smirked when she captured my eyes, slowly making her way towards me.  
  
 "Good afternoon." Natasha greets me with a small nod, which I return, with a smirk of my own. "I'm glad to see you here, we've got some business to discuss." She tells me and I raise my eyebrows, glancing back at Tony and Pepper for a second to make sure they weren't looking at us.  
  
 "Good afternoon. I suppose we could talk over dinner?" I asked, getting another nod from her, shortly after feeling a hand linger over my lower back. I almost jumped away or kicked the person, but it turned out to be just my best friend.  
  
"Natalie, it's so good to see you, you look amazing." Tony wore a wide, shiny smile on his face, trying his best to look normal, even though both me and him knew he was dying. It was hard seeing him try so hard not to concern anybody, faking smiles and keeping up his playboy, billionaire, asshole personality just so nobody finds out what is actually going on. But I knew he was suffering, though, he tried his best to act like he was okay even around me.  
  
"Um, I'm just gonna head for the bar." I looked at him. "You gonna be okay?" He hesitated for a moment, his eyes sparkling with sadness. I couldn't watch him be like this, but at the same time I felt guilty that I started slowly distancing myself from him. It's so damn insensitive and stupid that when he needs me the most- I'm the least present.  
  
"Of course." He squeezes my shoulder and gives me a small smile. I swiftly brushed my hand over the length of his arm, moving past him and making my way towards the bar. The space was full of people, all of them laughing and enjoying their drinks as they leaned over the wooden counter top, with their fronts or backs.  
  
Luckily, I found an empty spot I could stand at. As soon as I settled, the bartender moved over to me smoothly, asking what would I like to drink. "A classic mojito, thank you." I said through the smile, watching the bartender strut away and start mixing my drink. Turning around, I leaned against the bar on my elbows and inspected the people gathered in the room I was in.   
  
Almost all of them wore fancy clothes, dressed with style from head to toe, and beamed confidence as they smiled brightly at each other. Someone who only looked at me stand alone at the bar, carefully looking over the room and praying that nobody approaches me, would know that I shouldn't really be here. It was Tony's idea and I couldn't refuse since he's quiet literally dying. As much as I wanted just to be at home right now, watching Netflix and quietly sobbing because there's absolutely no way to cure my best friend, I had to be here for him. Except, we could really have fun.  
  
I sighed, grabbing my drink and sipping the sweet liquor, thinking of the possible ways to save Tony. No matter where I was, that would always be on my mind. I couldn't let him die, maybe because he saved my life, but also because he didn't deserve to die. It couldn't happen. The world needed Iron Man more than ever and I needed my best friend, too.  
  
I was so wrapped up inside of my own thoughts, not paying attention to the world around me, so I didn't notice when a, very familiar, man approached me. "Miss Kent?" The man said, trying to get my attention. "Miss Kent." He repeated, making me snap out of my daze.  
  
"Oh, hello." I said awkwardly. "Justin Hammer?" I asked, offering my hand. The man smiled an shook it, adjusting his glasses. "I've heard a lot about you." I told him with a smile, pretending that what I heard about him was good.  
  
"I heard a lot about you, too. You're a friend of Anthony's, right?" Hammer asked, frowning slightly as he called the bartender over. "Never thought he'd be friends with such a charming woman such as yourself." He smirked and added before I could respond, "And also very gifted."  
  
I raised my eyebrows. "Gifted?" I asked, watching him look away for a moment, before returning his gaze towards me. He looked like he was about to say that he knows of my powers, my heartbeat rising alarmingly as I tried to compose my breathing.  
  
"I heard about your paper on neuropsychology. Some of my colleagues told me that you're quiet good in your field." He told me and I gasped, not even able to believe that anybody would pay attention to my work. Not even I did. Besides, everything that I had to do with my love for psychology stopped when I got depressed and started hearing everybody's thoughts.  
  
"Right, uh, well... I kind of stopped focusing on that since I had... personal issues." I explained to him and he nodded as I downed my drink, glancing in Tony's way. The billionaire looked back in an exact second, his eyes widening at the view he spotted. I knew he won't be too happy given that I was talking with his least favourite person on Earth.  
  
"Yes, that is understandable. But I think that a brilliant young woman like you shouldn't hold back from her-" Even before Justin could finish his sentence, Tony was beside me, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me into his side. I smiled awkwardly, trying to shake Tony's arm off, but it didn't succeed.  
  
"Hello, um... Valerie our table is ready." Tony smiled down at me, his face barely a few inches away from my own. I nodded rapidly and looked back at Justin who was just staring at us with his eyebrows raised.  
  
"I'm sorry, I have to go. It was nice to meet you. Nice talk." I told the other rich man, letting Tony slowly lead me away as Justin stammered another bye. The two of us quickly disappeared from the crowded space, entering a small, isolated hallway. "What the hell was that?" I punched Tony's shoulder and he yelped in surprise.  
  
"What? I just saved you from that idiot!" He gestured towards the room full of people, trying to justify himself for making a scene. Maybe it wasn't too scandalous, maybe I was just over reacting, but I couldn't deal with the tabloid headlines and journalists constantly breathing down my neck, not now certainly.  
  
"You seemed like you were going to kiss me any second, think of what that looked like to someone else!" I panicked and he looked even more frustrated than I was. It was probably even harder for him than it was for me, I couldn't imagine what he was going through.   
  
"So what if I wanted to kiss you?" Stark snapped, both of us surprised by his question, awkwardly standing in the silence of the empty hallway. There was a moment in which I couldn't remember where I was, the world around me disappearing, my mind focused only on Tony slowly leaning in. His lips lingered above mine for a few moments. My heartbeat was destructively fast, the blood pumping in my ears.  
  
"You probably shouldn't." I whispered, afraid to look up to meet his eyes, knowing that he was fearlessly looking into mine. It was devastating to have the knowledge of Tony slowly dying, which probably caused him to think irrationally in every second he had left of his life. This one little kiss couldn't mean anything more than an attempt to do the most unexpected things he could before he passed away.  
  
But with Tony Stark, there was no obeying. He thought for one, short moment after I said that, closing the gap between our lips in a sharp movement forward. The kiss didn't last long since there were footsteps right around the corner, making me jolt backwards and standing a few feet away from Tony as the waitress passed us and entered a random room behind my back.  
  
"Should we go back?" I looked at my feet, trying my best not to look up or read his mind to see if this meant anything more than just one of the last reckless acts before Tony died. It hurt me to think he'd do something like that to me, but I couldn't blame him. I loved him too much to blame him.  
  
"Yeah, uh, sure, the race is starting soon anyway..." He stammered, scratching the back of his neck. I nodded quickly, starting to walk down the hallway and back to the other people. "I'll just have to use the bathroom, you go sit with Pepper." He told me and went in the separate direction as I hummed a small okay, before I headed to search for Pepper.  
  
On my way there, I stopped to take another Mojito, waiting for the bartender to mix the drink up. As I stood there, by myself again, the people around me started gasping and pointing at the TV screen, shock messing up their expressions. I slowly turned to look at what was so interesting myself, my eyes widening as I registered the terrible sight.   
  
Tony was about to go and drive himself in the carting race.  
  
I pushed through the people, panicking that he will get hurt. I rushed through the mass of bodies, trying to get as fast as I could into the audience on the bleachers that watched the race. I found an empty spot, standing rather than sitting so I could see as much as I could.  
  
But before Tony drove by, a man in an orange suit that seemed like he worked there stepped out on the racing track, walking in the middle of it without even flinching. As race cars approached, the man suddenly jerked his arms and two large whips fell out of his sleeves.  
  
My eyes widened as the top of his orange overall burnt down, the whips buzzing with extreme electricity. People screamed and gasped, but the unknown man didn't turn towards the audience. He looked straight ahead and when the first race car approached, he cracked his whip.  
  
The metal immediately cut through the front of the car, making the whole vehicle flip over. I gasped loudly, not even caring about the people around me trying to scramble their way out. Tony was next and my eyes were glued to his car, swiftly approaching towards the man with the whips.  
  
"Shit." I murmured and rushed down, closer to the metal fence on the edge of the racing track. As soon as Tony arrived in front of the man, he once again cracked his whip and cut off the front of Tony's racing car. I screamed, feeling some kind of electrical energy running through my whole body as I watched Tony flip over.  
  
A few other cars approached, but they hit into each other and exploded, a huge flame rising towards the sky and sending a wave of heat my way. I shielded my face, trying to block the dust away from my eyes. But even with my face covered I didn't miss the moment that the man rotated both of his whips, getting ready to make one final blow to Tony's car and surely- kill him.  
  
I felt tears brimming at the sides of my eyes, my legs working quicker than ever to get me to Tony before he could get hurt. And I ran out, without any protection from the sure blow, stopping right in front of where Tony was supposed to be.  
  
And it was already too late for me to move, the whips were already coming down to my body. I bowed my head, waiting for that final hit that would end everything, but it never came. Instead, I felt a huge rush of energy exploding from my chest through every inch of my being.  
  
I looked up and the man that tried to attack Tony was laying more than twenty feet away, completely still and his tech not working at all. My heart skipped a beat, my ears not able to register any kind of noise as I tried to understand what just happened, but there wasn't a possible way to do so.  
  
Only after Tony slowly touched my shoulder was I aware of my surrounding once again. There were people running towards the man the weird technology, policemen. Soon, Pepper and Happy arrived to the scene, Happy holding the Iron Man suitcase, but that, surprisingly, wasn't needed.  
  
"What happened?" I breathed out as I looked into Tony's worried eyes, his lips made into a small smirk as he looked back at me. I felt weak, my legs almost giving out under me. Everything seemed so difficult. I couldn't breathe properly. I couldn't see properly. My whole body was hurting. The pain grew stronger and stronger until it was unbearable. Without any control over my actions, I fell to my knees and screamed my lungs out. I could barely feel Tony's arms wrapped around me. The second I stopped screaming, was the second I passed out.


	9. 9 | WAKE UP

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to start writing in third person from now on :)

Valerie felt light headed in the never-ending darkness that surrounded her. She knew who was awaiting her. The two of them haven't seen each other in a while, frankly, she missed him. The only person that could offer her at least a small amount of peace and comfort in these difficult times.  
  
She sighed, sitting down and closing her eyes, feeling exhausted, completely drained. It felt like an eternity for her to sit alone in the infinite darkness, tired, but sleepless. She fought so desperately to stay awake until he comes to see her, it was frustrating. It was painful to have to stay awake, with so much things to think about. The fact hat Tony was dying, the fact that Tony kissed her and the fact that she didn't die when it seemed inevitable.  
  
She was almost ready to give up, every spot in her body sore, aching for an unknown reason. But before she could give in to sleep, there were footsteps echoing somewhere in front of her. Her eyes snapped open, widening and searching for the person that arrived. Her eyes settled on the enourmos silhouette that approached her, the small light behind it making the intruder barely recognizable.  
  
Though, she knew who that was. It wasn't who she was expecting, but she knew that he was here to give her answers. "Thanos?" She mumbled, the name coming out of her mouth with difficulty since she lacked energy to do absolutely anything.  
  
"Yes." The light disappeared and Valerie could now clearly see his face. "I have come to answer your questions." Thanos told her and sat down in front of her, barely a few feet a way. His eyes were tired just like hers, it seemed as if he had a rough day, too. Though, Valerie couldn't imagine what could tire such a huge... person.  
  
"Oh." Valerie gasped tiredly, looking at her hands in her lap. She let out an exaggerated sigh before she looked up, meeting Thanos' eyes. "What did happen today on the race track?" She asked, trying her best to keep her eyes open.  
  
"You confined so much power inside of yourself that it couldn't be held no longer. And the circumstance was appropriate for it to finally be released. We have to work on your abilities as soon as you gain back your energy." He explained patiently, as if a parent speaking to a five year old child.  
  
Valerie nodded, finding her head heavier than usual. "But why do you have to teach me? Why can't I do it on my own?" She frowned, knowing the answer very well.  
  
"Because you can't do it on your own. You need me. Or your powers will get out of control and destroy you." Thanos replied, looking down at her with something strange in his eyes. As if he couldn't believe how arrogant Valerie could be to even as such a question. It made Valerie feel smaller than him, more than she already was.  
  
"Why do you even want to help me? Do you need something from me?" She asked further and Thanos nodded, but raised his hand to stop her from asking more questions. He really had enough of her, even after only a few minutes.  
  
"You will know when the time comes. For now- rest. I will contact you when you're ready." With those words he disappeared as soon as Valerie blinked. She sighed, closing her eyes and feeling nauseous as she finally relaxed from the intense encounter.  
  
But she couldn't fall asleep. Her head hurt like never before, making her vision blurry even though there was nothing really to look at. She closed her eyes again, squeezing them as hard as she could, trying to stop feeling the pain that felt like stabbing in her skull. If it weren't for someone touching her shoulder, she was sure she would've started crying.  
  
The soft touch on her left shoulder made her jump right up to her feet, turning around to look at the person. "Where were you?" She gasped, her icy blue eyes bet with Loki's emerald ones. Loki fought himself as best as he could not to roll his eyes.  
  
"My brother's ceremony is about to start, I was helping my mother prepare everything that's needed the whole day." He explained, a glint of pain and guilt striking his eyes. Valerie knew what Loki's brother meant to him, but she was also aware of how jealous Loki could get.  
  
"It's fine if you wanted it to be your ceremony." She told him, trying to take his hand into hers, but he stepped back. She frowned and he shook his head, copying her facial expression.  
  
"I don't care about being a king." He said, lifting his chin up and looking at her with some kind of disgust, or anger. "But what's kept you occupied? A certain mortal, I suppose?" He asked her, half growling the sentence.  
  
"Excuse me?" Valerie laughed slightly at his demeanour, but Loki continued on with his irratical behaviour.  
  
"You are in love with the Man of Iron, aren't you?" Loki questioned, looking away from her face and clenching his jaw. She was taken aback by his words, blinking violently and trying to hide her shock. How could he know? And why would he care?  
  
"I'm not."  
  
"Then why did you kiss him!" Loki suddenly shouted at her, angrier than he ever was. This was the first time Loki behaved like this towards Valerie and she couldn't control herself. She swallowed the lump in her throat, taking another step back away from the angered god. There were tears already itching at the side of her eyes, threatening to spill any second. Her heart was beating strongly against her ribcage, making her breathing speed up.  
  
She was scared, maybe more because she felt like she was about to lose another friend than because she was standing in front of a god that was fuming with fury. "H-He kissed me..." Her breath hitched and then, as if somebody turned a switch, Loki calmed down, his facial expression completely overridden with slight fear.  
  
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-" He started but it just made the situation worse. Valerie let out a sob, trying to silence the sound with her hand to her mouth. Loki tried reaching to hug her but she stepped further back, raising her other hand to stop him.  
  
"You should go." She sniffled looking at her feet and wiping her tears. She was shaking now and Loki's heart ached as he reminded himself every other second that he'd made her cry. He clenched his fists, deeply breathing in and out.  
  
"I'm sorry, Valerie. I didn't mean to yell. I'm really sorry." He told her and she huffed gritting her teeth and looking up at him. Her emotion swapped from fear into anger in just one moment.  
  
"Then why did you yell?" She asked him, tilting her head to the side. "You know, I'm so sick of Stark doing irresponsible shit and I thought _you'd_ be the one who would help me get through it. But _no_. Why do you even care that I kissed Tony? So what?" Loki huffed and his eyes darted away from Valerie's face. He couldn't tell her, but she was so oblivious to the answer. Thats why she was even angrier. "Great. I'll see you when you decide to either tell me why or apologize."  
  
With those words, before Loki could even reply, she disappeared on her own for the first time.  
  
Then she woke up in the real world. With sweat covering her whole forehead. She was in a room she didn't recognize, it looked like a five-star hotel bedroom. The walls were a pale beige color, a few abstract paintings with warm colours hung here and there. A huge, walk-in wardrobe was open on the right side of the bed she was laying in. As she sat straight up in the bed, she could see through the open window on her left. The view was beautiful. The turquoise expanse of the sea started where the white, sandbeach ended. There were a few palm trees, making a small amount of the shade, a hammock hung between two of them.  
  
It was unusually quiet, the only sound being the faint sound of waves hitting against the coast. She stood up out of the bed, walking over to one of the two closed doors, hoping to find the bathroom. But she walked into the living room, instead. It was huge and decorated just like the bedroom. There was a set of couches in the centre of the room, each of them very big. On one of them, though there was Valerie's best friend. Sound asleep.  
  
The black haired woman tried her best to sneak back into the bedroom she woke in, going through the other closed door. It was, luckily, the bathroom this time and she took a quick shower since the clothes she wore were damped with sweat.  
  
The warm water relaxed her, easing off the soreness in her muscles and sending her into a sweet daze. She felt like she could fall asleep again under the soft warmth, but shook her head and opened her eyes before that could happen.  
  
While dressing up, she could hear an unfamiliar voice from the other room. There was another voice, then a door closed, then- silence. As soon as she was fully dressed she went back into the living room, spotting the sight of Tony, his face in his hands and his hair a complete mess.  
  
"Morning." Valerie said while tying her thick, wavy hair into a low ponytail. "I see you've slept well." She joked, earning a growl from him.  
  
"I haven't slept better in my life." Stark looked at her, watching her every tiny move. "How are you feeling?"  
  
"Really good, actually." She replied, sitting down next to him. "How long have I been asleep?" Tony sat there, looking at her in silence. "What?"  
  
"Valerie, you've been asleep for three days." Tony answered her question, the answer making her gasp and squirm in her place uncomfortably. She didn't feel like she was asleep for days. It felt like the events at grand prix happened yesterday.  
  
"Are we still in Monaco?" The blue-eyed woman frowned and the billionaire nodded. "Where are Pepper and Happy?"  
  
"The two of them left yesterday. They couldn't wait for you to wake up any longer, Pepper had some business. She's now the CEO after all." Stark sighed, looking at his feet.  
  
"Jesus." Valerie rubbed her eyes. All of the information hurting her head. "What happened after I fainted? Who was that man?"  
  
"Look." He said instead of answering her further questions. "Let's just take a break from everything. It shouldn't bother you, okay?" He put his hand on her knee. She looked at him with piercing eyes, but he stood up to avoid giving her answers.  
  
Her voice was monotone as she said, "Tony." The Iron Man stopped in his tracks, still turned to her with his back. "Jesus, are you wearing Iron Man pyjamas?" She asked in shock as she noticed the print on his pants.  
  
Tony tried stifling a laugh but he couldn't hold it in so he laughed as hard as he could, making Valerie laugh too. The two of them were crying from laughter, their stomachs hurting. But the fun was over when Tony started coughing suddenly.  
  
Valerie was immediately on her feet, right at his side, softly holding him as she helped him sit down again. It almost passed a full minute until he was finally calm again. "Are you okay?" She asked, though both of them knew the answer and it would be even more painful if said aloud.  
  
"Let's go to the beach." The man next to her suggested confidently, looking right into her eyes with a wide smile, trying to forget the reality. Valerie's heart ached to think that they had to try so hard to forget about the frightening truth that Tony's time was slowly ticking out. She pressed her lips in a tight line and nodded, making Tony smile even wider.  
  
The two of them spent the whole day on the beach, drinking exotic cocktails and talking about different stuff that they didn't even know how they got to. The sun was setting behind the final blue line of the sea, flaming the sky into different shades of pinks and reds with a tints of blue still left in it.  
  
They ended up sitting in the deckchairs, another two colourful cocktails in both of their hands as they watched the sunset silently. "I didn't know you were this romantic." Valerie smiled, teasing Tony.  
  
"Well, I wasn't." He replied, looking straight ahead even when she looked at him with her blue eyes, her freckled nose slightly sunburnt. She stared at his side profile for up to a minute, before turning away and taking another sip of her drink.

"Is that a bad or a good thing?"

"What?"

"Me being romantic."

"Well..." Valerie didn't know the appropriate answer. She wanted to say yes and she wanted to forget everything and just spend the rest of the evening with Tony, just being happy and careless on that beautiful beach. But if she let herself go now, she knew she'd fall in love. "I mean, I guess-"

"Then let's dance." Tony jolted up from his chair, as if somebody pushed a button for him to get into a rush mode. He seemed so excited in that short moment, Valerie almost got worried that it would go in the right direction. Though, even if it did- she never knew what to do in that case. Tony took the phone out of his pocket and quickly swiped through it, finding the most sappy slow song he could find.

"Tony, wh-"

"May I have this dance?" He asked, making Valerie smile from ear to ear, not able to stop herself. She nodded, taking his outstretched hand and letting him help her up to her feet. He took her right hand with his, while slowly tracing his fingers over the left side of her waist, down to rest on her hip. All the while, he kept her gaze with his own, making her shiver under his look, or perhaps- it was just the cold.

The song kicked off really slow, the notes calming and soft, the two of them swaying in perfect harmony along with the tune of it. There was barely any space between them, Valerie could feel the warmth of Tony's body radiating, the contrast of cold air that swiped over her bare feet in form of a light breeze. 

"I wish we didn't have to go back home." Tony sighed, looking at the sea as sun spent its final few minutes peaking over the turquoise surface. "I wish I had more time to-"

"Tony." Valerie turned his head towards her. "Don't talk like that. You know that you'll figure something out. I wish I could help, but I'm useless when it comes to that piece of tech in your chest." She tapped her finger on the arc reactor in the middle of Tony's chest that was covered by his shirt.

"You're not useless. You've helped me more than anyone. And I'm really thankful for it." He told her, his lips curved into a soft smile as his eyes sparkled. She gave him a short smile, turning away when she sensed that he would lean in to kiss her, not approving herself to fall deeper into her emotions. It was just temporary, Tony was trying to cling onto one thing to feel like he had forever more, but if it weren't like that- he wouldn't feel the same. One thing pushed another and if Valerie didn't take the initiative the domino effect would be inevitable and she would pay in the end. She would be the one to get hurt. 

She sighed, pressing her head to his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat and the faint buzzing of the intimidating technology that was right next to it. Tony wrapped his arms around her firmly, both of them lost in thought as they watched the last vague beams of light slipping through and shining over the edge of the world.

"We should go back." Valerie whispered to no one in particular, trying to remind herself what would be the correct action. Though, Tony shook his head and while Valerie turned her head to look up at him, closed his eyes as if he tried to completely escape the world for just a second longer. By this time, the slow song stopped playing ages ago and Valerie knew it was  _really_ time for both of them to get back to their senses.

"You're right." Tony huffed and looked down at her with a small smirk. "Let's go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i changed the ending of this chapter ((for the sake of being cheesy,, i know.))


	10. 10 | BAD DECISIONS

Valerie went into the restaurant she was supposed to meet Natasha in. The two of them were supposed to talk business since Natasha had some very important things she needed to talk to Valerie, and only her, about. The black haired woman didn't have a slightest idea what Romanov wanted but didn't think it would be really smart to refuse.

A waitress walked up to her, asking her if she had a reservation. "Yes, I'm supposed to meet here with Miss Rushman." Valerie answered with a small smile and the waitress nodded, telling her to follow. Valerie followed close behind the woman, walking after her into an isolated room with one long table.

There was Natasha, sitting next to an older man, probably in his late fifties, with an eye-patch. He had no hair on top of his head, but had a mustache and a short beard. The two of them were sitting at the closer end of the table, just a few steps away. "Valerie. Good afternoon." The man said smiling at her. Valerie turned to look at the waitress, but the woman was already long gone.

"Good afternoon." The black haired woman said herself, looking between the two other people. Natasha was smirking at her, her red hair tied up in a curly ponytail. The redhead gestured for Valerie to sit and she did so, sitting at the chair on the end, the other two sitting at both her sides.

"Well, I'm Nick Fury." The man with an eye-patch said, stretching a hand out to her. "I am director of SHIELD. Our organization's job is to prevent threats that could potentially endanger our country in the near or far future." He explained, waiting for Valerie's reaction. She blinked at him, completely overcome with the information, not even sure how to respond.

"I- Um- Okay?" She stuttered, waiting for Fury to continue, but he was also expecting of her something more. "And? What do I have to do with that?" She asked finally, the question satisfying Nick's expectations. He leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest.

"We would like you to join us." He answered, the silence washing over the room again. Valerie thought about what joining them meant, but she was pretty sure it wouldn't be any good. She nodded, glancing down at her hands in her lap and deciding that she had to throw off all of the insecurities she had, these people obviously weren't joking.

"What exactly would my job be? I assume you wouldn't just want me to sit around all day." She lifted her chin, trying to seem as confident as she could. Fury huffed, leaning back in, resting one elbow on the table while his other hand stayed firmly on his knee.

"You have a potential that would be of good use to us. Your abilities would be very helpful, given that you can read minds. You'd be one of our secret operatives."

"A spy?"

"An agent, yes." Natasha corrected her and Valerie glanced at her from the corner of her eye.

"What's in it for me?" Valerie questioned with a quirked eyebrow, trying not to expect too much.

"Whatever you need." Fury answered with a smile, somewhat proud of something. "As long as you get the job done, of course." He added, nodding at Valerie. She thought for a moment, not knowing if it would be the best idea. But she hated her current job anyway. It couldn't get any worse, could it?

"Fine." She said with a serious expression. "When do I start?"

\---

Valerie decided that it'd be for the best if she didn't try to stop Tony from doing whatever he wanted for his birthday, even though she could tell that it'd be a mess. A complete disaster, actually. So she braced herself, going into his bedroom to find him tying up the tie on his fancy suit. There were hours left before the actual party, but they had to make room to prepare everything.

Everything- meaning transfer all the champagne crates that Tony ordered, all ten of them that contained twenty champagne bottles, into the storage. At least monitor the people who actually did the job. Then, also, the food. Which would almost be just a decoration since everybody would be drinking booze exclusively, as it usually is on Stark's parties.

"Getting ready, I see." Valerie wore a smirk as she waltzed towards Tony, catching his eye in the mirror. He looked tired, even though, he tried to put up the strong front. It wasn't working, but Valerie just choose to ignore it. "What do you think of  _my_ outfit?" She asked, doing a slow twirl for him to see. It was a simple red, cocktail dress with the same color high-heels with her black hair in loose curls falling over her shoulders. She hadn't felt confident like this in a long time, it was refreshing.

"You look stunning." Tony complimented her, finishing his tie and smoothing out his suit. "How do  _I_ look?"

"You look amazing, Iron Man." She smiled at him and he huffed, lifting his chin a bit higher in pride. "So, when does the party start?" The woman asked, walking up to the mirror and checking if her red lipstick was in its place. Tony made a mistake by staring at her reflection for too long, quickly looking away when Valerie started to turn back. "Huh?" She hummed and nodded at him to encourage him to speak.

"The guests will start arriving by nine." He answered, sighing and making up his mind about starting the conversation neither of them wanted to have. But they had to. "Um, you know the time in Monaco?" Valerie could sense what was coming. She nodded. "Well, I think that... It's for the best to put that behind us. I mean we are best friends- why ruin that?"

"Ruin?" Valerie whispered to herself. "The time in Monaco didn't ruin our friendship, I thought we were getting closer?" She asked, hurt by Tony's poor choice of words. Her impulsive side couldn't hold back, she had hidden these kinds of emotions for so long and it was all crumbled up and ready to explode. Tony just pushed the button.

"Look, I just don't want to start something that would destroy what we have already. I care about you a lot, but you know that-"

"I know, Tony. You love Pepper." Valerie said before he could finish, feeling something like a kick to her gut. It was both disappointing and embarrassing  for her to really hear all of this. To be fair, it couldn't be avoided, but there was a tiny bit of hope that the time in Monaco meant something to Tony just as it did to her. But by the look on Tony's face she knew she was correct. His eyes glimmered with guilt and sadness, his shoulders slumped in defeat. He wanted to be honest and not to keep anything from Valerie, but he didn't know if being honest would just blow up in his face at that moment. Though, instead of having an outburst, Valerie calmly sighed, looking him straight into the eyes, "It's fine. I understand. It is better for us to be just friends than ruin our relationship."

"I'm glad you agree. Thank you for understanding." He nodded, scratching the back of his neck. Valerie could tell that he wasn't completely at ease with the situation. "Uh, we have to get everything for the party. Meet me in the kitchen?" Tony asked her and Valerie nodded, silently walking out and having the worst, bitter feeling of her entire life.

\---

There was just about hour until the party started and the people started arriving, when Valerie bumped into Natasha on her way though one of the hallways. "Oh, Natasha." Valerie said absently, she was still wrapped up inside of her thoughts from the short and uncomfortable dialogue Tony and her had just a few hours prior. Natasha smiled at her softly, looking like she knew what was going on even though she wasn't the one who could read minds.

It was unexpected for Valerie to run into Natasha, the two of them were just getting started with the introduction to SHIELD's headquarters, but they never really seemed to get to know each other. There was a strict professional line that neither of them was willing to cross, knowing either they'd get hurt or get in trouble. But that made it seem even more interesting, at least for Valerie, to just get over with it and do it. Ask some personal question.

Natasha was so secretive and withdrawn, besides from being a tactful and brilliant secret agent, Valerie didn't know much about her. That was probably what SHIELD liked, being completely professional without additional strings. And even though they now knew everything about Valerie, she knew little less to nothing about them. Especially Fury. 

That man's secrets had secrets. Nothing in his mind added up. He was so skilled a spy that Valerie wasn't able to even read his mind properly. Everything that went on and on in his head was: " **Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division.** " The full name of the organisation over and over in his mind. The black haired woman didn't have the faintest idea how he did it- but it was sure as hell successful.

"Valerie?" Natasha repeated, blinking at the dark haired girl with expectation. She shook away from her line of thoughts, looking the redhead right into her eyes. "You're staying for the party?" The green-eyed woman asked, obviously already knowing the answer.

Though, Valerie still had the need to answer with full vocabulary, trying to drag the conversation out as much as possible. "Yes, I am staying for the party. You?"

"Wouldn't miss it." Nat smirked, batting her eyes at Valerie. She took this as a sign that she could finally ask more. Get a bit closer to Natasha.

"Then, perhaps we could have a glass of champagne together." Valerie added, putting up her confidence. She wanted so bad to know Natasha, even though she knew she could never break through her walls like she did with Tony. 

"I don't drink when I'm at work." Romanov replied with a slight huff of satisfaction. "But I'd gladly agree if you ask me to come to your place." Valerie raised her eyebrows and Nat's smile widened, but before Valerie could say anything she turned around and walked away.

\---

The party was loud and upbeat from the beginning, though the only thing that kind of ruined the mood for Valerie was that her best friend was currently in one of his really important iron suits, making a fool of himself for the fun of completely random people. She could recognize a few models and other people Tony had introduced to her- but there was a bigger number of those she didn't know.

Tony was really going overboard with this debacle, he got drunk even before the guests started arriving and now he was ten times worse. She wondered how didn't he already end up having alcohol poisoning. She was already on the edge of screaming at him from earlier that day, and this was just worsening her temper. 

To do this much damage to yourself when you were already dying- that was the best job for Tony Stark. He probably thought he would feel better, that he'd numb himself of all the anxiety and fear he felt from being sick, but this would just drag him further into a mess. This would just make things worse with its aftermath.

 At the moment she thought to step in- Tony tripped over and fell onto a very expensive set of decoration. This was it.

Valerie stomped over onto the podium, noticing how surprised Tony was. "He-ey, Val? Are you ready to meet my best friend Valerie?" He asked but Valerie gritted her teeth, snatching the microphone from his metal hand.

"Anthony you better get it together and end this right now or-"

"Or what? You're gonna call my mommy?" He grunted, looking down at her with not a bit of empathy. "You won't tell me what to do. This is my house, my party and I can do  _whatever_  I like." He growled at her, taking the microphone back.

"Oh we're fucking done, Stark. You can't play games with me all the time, I'm not fucking dumb. And I'll warn you to stop one more time because Rhodey is here and, believe me, he won't be happy with this bullshit you made." Valerie hissed at him, walking angrily off the stage and pushing through the stunned crowd.

Truth be told, she was a bit drunk too, but she didn't have time to think rationally. She searched the room with her eyes, quickly looking away from Pepper as soon as she spotted her worried gaze, to find the redhead that she exchanged a quiet few interesting words earlier.

But she didn't have to do so, since she felt a tap on her shoulder and twirling around- there she was. Natasha looked even more hot in the dress she wore, making Valerie not even regret the decision she was making so quickly. Though, she would maybe regret it later.

She took Natasha's hand, lowering her lips to Natasha's ear. "Lets go to my place." She said with a smirk and Natasha obeyed silently, the two of them escaping the crowded mansion and sitting in a car that one of Tony's drivers drew. Valerie quickly told him the address to her apartment building and they were already there in no time.

Valerie led up to her flat, taking her time to lock the door when they came in. But as soon as she turned around, Natasha was already kissing her. The redhead placed her hands on Valerie's hips as she made her lean against the door, pressing the whole length of her body against Valerie's. 

"I didn't think we'd actually get to this so quickly." Valerie said smugly as she broke the kiss to pin Natasha against the door, slowly kissing down her jaw and over her neck as the redhead tried to sustain a moan but it came out anyway.

"Well, you're not the only one that's craving something here." The secret agent replied, lifting Valerie's chin to look her straight in her icy blue eyes. "Where's the bedroom?" She asked confidently and Valerie liked that very much.

"Over there." Valerie pointed over her shoulder and stopped Natasha from walking away when she wanted to. "Nah-ah." She shook her head, quickly placing her hands under Natasha's thighs and making Natasha wrap her legs around her waist. She carried Natasha into her bedroom and skillfully pushed the door to close behind them.


	11. 11 | AFTER THE INCIDENTS

Valerie opened her eyes slowly, the daylight that poured through the windows into the room blinding her. The alcohol she drank the night before caused her to feel a slight headache, it wasn't too bad though. But she completely forgot about it the second she saw Natasha Romanov, still sound asleep, in the bed next to her. It was really unbelievable that she even had a chance to sleep with Natasha, much less that it actually happened.

She sighed, sneaking out of the bed and pulling a robe onto her shoulders. Her idea was to make the breakfast before Nat woke up, just to play nice after the scene she made yesterday and the attitude she pulled. No doubt, she knew she could be a real bitch sometimes, but after the very humbling period of losing her mind she tried to act less like it. Though, Natasha must've found her behavior attractive since she actually slept with her.

With only two steps left to the kitchen, Valerie was stopped in her tracks when a doorbell rang. She groaned and rolled her eyes, quickly pacing back to answer it. Unlocking it with two sharp twists, she raised her gaze to be met with the face of no one else than Tony Stark. Even with the sunglasses on he looked terrible, confirming her theory that the hardcore partying would ruin his state even more. "What do you want?" She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Look, Valerie, I know I was ignorant and-" He stopped speaking as soon as Valerie felt a hand softly land on her shoulder. She knew it couldn't be anybody else than Natasha but she still prayed that she wasn't right for some reason. "Natalie?"

"Good morning, Mr. Stark." The redhead next to Valerie said. Valerie could hear the smirk in her voice, biting her lip so she doesn't smile as she saw the look on Tony's face. He was completely speechless, opening and closing his mouth like a fish for full thirty seconds before nodding at her.

"I was wondering why you were late for work." He huffed, looking at Valerie and taking off his sunglasses. "And I was wondering why my best friend hadn't been returning my calls. Turns out she disappeared and fucked my assistant while my other best friend stole my suit and completely destroyed my house."

"Rhodey stole your suit?" Valerie let out a sarcastic laugh making Tony clench his jaw. "I thought you had better security than that. Besides, I doubt that Rhodey would just casually take your suit and blow up your house. You know- he must've been really pissed after the shit you pulled at the party. He risked his job and reputation a few days ago to keep the military from taking your suits and then you basically _asked_ for it."

"You can be a real bitch, Valerie." He shook his head, as if he was disappointed.

"That's really rich coming from you, Stark." The dark haired woman rolled her eyes.

"Do we have to do this in the hallway?"  Tony asked as a door of some random apartment door opened. Valerie really wanted to tell him everything she had, but Natasha was there and she couldn't risk Fury knowing all that was happening between her and Tony.

"I don't think so." She shook her head. 

"Is this because I told you we should move on from the time in Monaco? That's why you decided to screw my assistant." He huffed and smirked. "You know I thought you were better than this. Turns out-" He shrugged, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his pants. "- you're not."

"Go to hell, Tony." She said through gritted teeth, stepping away from the door and slamming it shut in front of Tony's face. Natasha squeezed her shoulder, as if to tell her that she was there for her. "I'm sorry for this. He's an idiot." 

"Well it sin't like you were any nicer." Natasha shrugs as Valerie looked at her with a slight frown. The redhead was right, though, Tony must've had a pretty rough time yesterday after she left and she just told him to fuck off and didn't even bother to be there for him. But it wouldn't be better even if she tried to comfort him since she would only have to hold back from knocking him out.

Valerie sighed and nodded, going into the kitchen with Nat following right behind her. "I wanted to make you breakfast  before you woke up, but..." She informed, making Natasha smile widely. It was nice to see her smile. "You know, about all of this-"

"Don't say anything." Romanov stopped her from talking further. "It was nice, but it can't go on. It's okay." She sighed tucking her red hair behind her ear. "Not that we can be together, now that you'll be working for SHIELD. Fury isn't exactly a fan of office romance."

"Yeah. And I don't want to... do something we'll regret, I was acting reckless and I was hurt because of Tony. To be with you just because I wanted to forget about him would not be fair." Valerie leaned against the fridge with her back, her blue eyes staring at her feet.

"So... You and Tony are..." Natasha raised her eyebrows and Valerie looked at her, eyes wide, shaking her head rapidly. Perhaps she said too much.

"No, uh... It was nothing really. Apparently, I had the wrong impression." The black haired girl said, a sad smile spreading over her face. "It's funny how you can have a wrong impression after a romantic dinner and slow dancing on the beach..." She laughed.

"I knew Stark was an asshole but that's really next level." Nat huffed and rolled her eyes. "Let's not talk about him and have breakfast. Okay?" She took the few steps towards Valerie, softly brushing her fingers over the length of her arm earning only a firm nod.

* * *

Valerie's phone rung in her pocket. "Shit." She murmured as she walked through the restaurant. She was on her first mission, it wasn't that hard, even though she couldn't see her target anywhere and the time was running out. She quickly took the phone out of her pocket, seeing that it was Fury himself and immediately answering it. "What's up?" She asked, trying to catch a glimpse of the weapons dealer she had yet to find.

" _I need you._ " Fury said, making Valerie frown as she realized there were private rooms for meetings that were in the same little hallway as kitchen. 

"That sounds terribly clingy." She replied, pacing over to the wooden door with a small window at the top. She heard Nick huff and clear his throat before he spoke again.

" _I have no time for joking, Valerie, I need you to stop the mission immediately and come back to the head quarters._ " He told her and she was ready to just hang up. " _We have other business to do. It's Stark. He needs our help._ "

"I suppose he doesn't know that." She murmured and the door to the kitchen opened, a waitress passing her. She smiled at the woman in white apron and the woman smiled back, passing Valerie with no questions asked. "Look, if you think that I know what Tony's up to- I don't. We haven't talked in days."

" _That's not what I need from you. I know where he is. I need you to talk some sense into him_." Fury talked as Valerie slowly opened the door, trying to make sure it didn't creak. The men inside of the room were all wearing black suits, expensive watches around their wrists and golden chains around their necks. Stereoypical mafia. 

The target was at the top of the table and she made quick work of reading his mind, finding the exact location for the next big weapon trade. Fury was helplessly calling her name through the cellphone, but she could in no way answer him. Especially when one of the men in suits spotted her and jumped up from his seat, the others doing the same.

"Shut the fuck up, they saw me." Valerie told Fury, hearing him scream the worst of cuss words at her as she ran through the restaurant, trying to escape the horde of angry mafia men. "Don't worry I'll survive." She panted. The black haired woman stormed out of the local and ran down the street.

Before she could get to her car, somebody pulled her into one of the shady, narrow valleys. The person pinned her against the wall behind a dozen boxes that were stacked onto one another. Her heart was wildly beating inside f her chest. "Natasha? What are you-" She panted as she realized that it was her friend slash colleague. "Fury sent you to watch me." She was ready to be mad but Nat shook her head and Valerie became confused instead.

"I came by myself. To make sure nothing happened to you." Her friend smirked and she smiled, ear to ear, happy that Natasha would do that for her. 

"Thanks." Valerie said as Natasha pulled away, making sure that the mob passed. The black haired woman returned her cellphone to her ear. "You were saying?"

" _I need you to come talk to Stark._ ** _Now_** _._ " Fury growled then hung up. Valerie sighed and rolled her eyes, putting the phone back in her pocket. Natasha looked at her from the corner of her eye, failing not to look like she was eavesdropping.

"Fury needs me to talk to Stark." Valerie told her friend and walked out of the alley, smoothing her black shirt out. "What are you up to?" 

"Same, actually." Natasha smiled, walking next to Valerie as she headed towards her car. 

"Great." Valerie said as she opened her vehicle. "See you there."

* * *

Valerie parked in front of the doughnut shop, seeing Tony and Nick sat at one of the tables next to the window. Tony was in his suit, though he didn't wear his helmet. He looked bad. Really bad. Tired and hopeless. Valerie really did feel bad for him, but after his birthday party she knew she couldn't put up with his self destructive tendencies.

She exited the car, trying to keep calm as she entered through the glass door. Tony's head instantly snapped around as she heard the bell above the door ding, his jaw clenching and unclenching. "What is she doing here?"

"I see you missed me." Valerie rolled her eyes, walking up to the two men and sitting next to her boss. "What did you do this time?"

"Nothing. I'm still dying." He said and Valerie winced, his words stinging like wasps bite. "How do you know each other? Not family, I suppose?"

"I work for him."

"Right. I guess that clears things up. That's why you screwed Natalie- or Natasha. How do you call your girlfriend? Where had she gone anyways?" Tony rambled, his voice threaded with annoyance. Valerie glanced at Fury, who was now looking at her as if he wanted to rip her throat with his teeth right then and there. Valerie now knew firsthand that he wasn't a fan of office romance.

As if Tony's words were the cue, Natasha walked out of the wooden door behind the register, holding what seemed to be some kind of a syringe. "Hi Val." She said, coming to stand next to their table. She put the syringe on the table for everybody to see it.

"What's that?" Tony and Valerie said at the same time, looking at each other afterwards then quickly looking away and up at Natasha's face. 

"That'll help you." Nick answered for Nat. "It reduces the symptoms you have." Valerie remembered that Nick mentioned something like this to her earlier that week.

"Oh, I'm not taking anything you give me. God knows what kind of drug is in that." Tony looked at the medicine, Valerie could tell that he was actually doubting. He wanted to take it because he knew that Nick wasn't going to kill him, but he was also stubborn. He would rather die than take something from the man that so mercilessly made everybody lie to him.

"Take the serum, Tony." Valerie told him firmly. He looked up at her, his gaze piercing an imaginary hole through her head. He was ready to hate her and that was easy to see.

"Why would I listen to you?" He asked crossing his metal arms. "Not that you pretended to care about me in the last few days. Two weeks to be exact." He huffed. "Maybe you just pretended this whole time, acting like my best friend because it was your mission. Was trying to kill yourself fake, too? Did you know I was going to save you?"

"You insensitive asshole!" Valerie slammed her fist on the table, making everybody to jump up slightly in their places. "I fucking care about you and I'm not going to leave you forever over some petty fight we had because we were drunk. Even if you liked it or not. Now take the serum."

Tony didn't speak another word, letting Natasha carefully inject the medicine into his neck. He rubbed the place where she stung him as the black veins slowly faded. Valerie nodded at him, to show him she's pleased.

"Let's go to your wreck of home now, shall we?" Fury told Tony and stood up.


	12. 12 | FAMILY

  Valerie walked up to Fury and Tony sitting in what was once the entrance hall. "This place really is a trash bin now." She sighed, sitting next to Fury after Tony gave her a death glare. He didn't want to have to talk to her, he was completely transparent on that matter, but she didn't want to leave him alone. Even if he didn't like it. It was hard enough to spend past week or so without him by her side not to mention how hard it was to know that her best friend was extremely sick without her support.

 "Why have you two been fighting anyway?" Fury asked them and Tony huffed, looking the other way while Valerie just rolled her eyes. "I'm serious. Agent Romanov said that the two of you were best friends." He pushed further, trying his best to get any answers.

Tony was about to say something, but Valerie stopped him. "No offense, that's really none of your business, chief." She said, feeling Tony stare at her as she gave Fury a look that showed him she wasn't joking. Nick wanted to say something else, but he let it slide and looked straight ahead at the sea.

"You know, Stark that thing in your chest is based on unfinished technology." The director of SHIELD said, half absently. Valerie was so wrapped up in her own thoughts that she didn't even hear what Tony and her boss were talking about. She was still thinking of the fact that she let Tony deal with his problems on his own, only because she was petty enough to be jealous and think that there was more to their relationship. It was childish to be ignorant like that when Tony only cleared things up. He was an asshole too, though, that couldn't be denied.

As she was thinking further about it, there was suddenly a sharp pain in her skull. She winced, but the pain went away as soon as she blinked. It was weird, but maybe it was because she didn't sleep good for the past few days, considering that her first mission was today and she couldn't help but stress about how it's going to go. Truth be told, it would've been a disaster if it wasn't for Natasha.

As Tony and Fury were talking there was an abrupt pause, making Valerie realize that they stopped talking. She looked over to Fury and Tony, just as Fury started talking again. "He said that you are the only person with the means and knowledge to finish what he started." He looked at Iron Man with a serious expression, but Tony obviously couldn't think of it as something more than a joke.

"He said that?" Tony huffed with raised eyebrows and sad eyes. Valerie knew that Howard never watched out for his kid, she was curious once and she took a peak at Tony's memories. That was once maybe twice, a moment of weakness. She was ready to be called a hypocrite if anyone ever found out. Her excuse would be that she tried to understand Tony better, which was somehow actually true. But curiosity played the bigger role.

"Are you that guy? Are you?" Fury asked him, leaning forwards towards the engineer. "'Cause if you are... you can solve the riddle of your heart." Valerie's boss finished and there was a deafening silence between them. Tony looked away from the one eyed face of the man in front of him, looking at the ground for a split second before shaking his head and looking back up.

"I don't know where you're getting your information, but he wasn't my biggest fan." Iron Man said with a sad sigh, propping his chin on the palm of his hand. Valerie watched his every move, thinking about how hard it had to be for him. That was all she could think about.

"What do you remember about your dad?"

"He was cold, he was calculating. He never told me he loved me, never told me he liked me," Tony is quick to answer, all the while his voice threatening to crack and his eyes glimmering with a thin layer of tears. "so it's a little tough for me to digest when you are telling me he said that the whole future was riding on me and he's passing it down. I don't  _get_  that." The way Tony sounded when he said the last sentence made Valerie shiver. She could hear the hurt in his words. She had only seen him this upset a few times. "You're talking about a guy who's happiest day of life was when he shipped me off to boarding school." He added in a hurried murmur, leaning back in his chair.

"That's not true."

"Well then you know my dad better than I did..."

"As a matter of fact I did." Fury shrugged, looking like he felt completely relaxed, contrary to Tony, who's body language showed how tense he was. "He was one of the founding members of SHIELD." The director says that as if it wasn't a big deal, but Valerie was so surprised she almost jumped out of her seat.

"What?" Both her and Tony said in unison, Valerie watching as two men carried a crate and left it in front of them with wide eyes. Fury said something short and stood up as Tony tried desperately to stop him from going.

"What's this?"

"You're good, right? You're good?"

"No, I'm not good."

"You got this? Right?"

"Got what? I don't even know what I'm supposed to get." Tony spread his arms, already irritated with Fury's actions and words. Valerie jumped to her feet, watching over the box that was just delivered, not even listening to what Fury said next. What could be in that damn box?

"Valerie?" She heard her name and snapped away from the daze. "You're going to have to babysit Tony." Fury said when she looked him in the eye. The woman made a grimace, making Nick squint his only eye at her to which she only replied with a grunt. "Tony, you know agent Coulson, don't you?"

"Yes." Tony nodded. Valerie knew Coulson too, in fact she saw him just yesterday. He helped her prepare for her first solo mission.

"Good. And remember-" Fury looked at him carefully, holding his eyes with his one. "I got my eye on you."

* * *

Valerie was lurking around the mansion for two hours now, since Tony didn't want to talk to her. It felt wrong to not insist on talking it out and clearing everything up, but she had no heart or energy to do so. She was just worried for her best friend that was so madly angry at her. She was curious to know what he was doing. So she made her way downstairs to his lab, slowly stepping on each stair and trying drive too much attention to herself.

But Tony immediately noticed her, looking straight into her eyes and saying something she could not hear, then rolling his eyes. She made slow movement towards the glass door, pushing it open since the passcode was disabled. "I thought I told you that I don't want to talk." He said, looking down at the contents of the box that he was given earlier.

"What's in the box?" His best friend asked, completely ignoring what he previously said.

"Just some old stuff from my dad." He replied quickly, going quiet as he read what was written on some old film stocks. 

"I'm sorry." Valerie sighed.

"About what?"

"About your dad."

"Thanks, I guess." Tony shook his head. "How come you never mentioned your family?" He asked the question she avoided for so long, but it was probably the time to address it. If only she didn't have an anxiety attack every time she talked about it.

"I- uh- It's complicated. I don't know where my family is now." She told him and he raised his eyebrows as he sat on the ground beside him. "My parents never really loved me, I mean they tried to love me. But I was never good enough. It fucked me up but I was coping. I had an older sister and she was everything to them. She was older five years and was already in college when-" She stopped abruptly.

"When what?" Tony was so eager to know, he looked at her with so much impatience and expectation at once.

"When they kicked me out. I was fifteen when I told them about my powers, two years after I discovered what I can do. They thought I was a witch. My family was really religious, literally everyone. My grandmothers, grandfathers, aunts, uncles... Everyone from my family was hardcore christian. Some thought I was a witch, some thought I was possessed. They even had exorcisms performed on me. I was constantly jumped by priests and nuns and was scared that somebody from my family would actually kill me. The one thing that made it too much for them was when I came out to them as bisexual. That's when they kicked me out." Valerie paused to take in a deep breath, feeling dizzy from all the talking that made her lack the oxygen. "I haven't talked to them since I was sixteen. I tried calling them but when my mother heard my voice she would hang up. I'm dead to them." She finished, not feeling sad at all. She made amends with what happened a long time ago, she promised to herself that she wouldn't bother anymore.

"I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve any of that." Tony told her when she stopped talking, reaching out and squeezing her shoulder with a pained expression on her face. She nodded and smiled at him softly to tell him that she's fine and he shouldn't worry about it.

"So what did your father leave you?" She asked, casting her gaze over the scattered items on the ground. 

"A couple of blue-prints and film stocks, some old pictures and notebooks." He informed her. She couldn't say that she expected something out of it, she didn't know anything about Howard except of what Tony told her. But apparently Tony didn't know his father the best, so neither of them could expect much.

"Do think he would've been proud of what you became?" Valerie asked absently as she gazed at the blueprint for the arc reactor. There was an exaggerated silence between them, until Tony sighed and shook his head. 

"I don't think so." He said under his breath. "Let's watch these." He shook the containers of film stocks and stood up, Valerie doing the same.


	13. 13 | NOT IN THE ELEMENT

"Everything is achievable through technology." Howard Stark said, projected onto the wall through an old movie projector. Valerie sighed, walking up to Tony and handing him a smoothie that was meant to boost his energy a little. She looked at him as he took the glass, not meeting her eyes, only turning to look at the projected video once again. She sat in the chair that she placed next to his, absently watching Howard speak about his big plans for the future. She tried her best not to look at Tony and let him know she pities him for not having his parents be there for him. 

She leaned back in her seat, her eyes following every move of Tony's father, not entirely interested in the video. Tony on the other hand, was watching his father with his concentration focused solely on Howard. Valerie sighed, trying to see if the sound will divert Tony's attention to her, but such thing didn't happen. The black haired woman closed her eyes, trying to rest for only a short time, but her plan didn't work and soon she fell into deep sleep.

Surely, there was no such thing as peaceful dreams for her.

She looked up, expecting to see Thanos standing in the field with no boundaries, but instead seeing a dark, cold space with a person she hadn't seen in a while now. "Loki?" She gasped as she noticed his tearful eyes. He was a complete wreck, his clothes and hair were messy and he didn't bother wearing his helmet. She didn't think Loki was the type to be this shaken, but he looked like somebody hurt him. Badly. 

"V-Valerie I-" He took in a deep shaky breath, trying to wipe the tears, but he couldn't stop crying. Valerie shook her head, quickly going over to him and pulling him in a tight hug. He immediately buried his face into her shoulder and started sobbing, his whole body shaking from the cries. She felt her eyes sting, but held back from crying- she needed to be calm in order for Loki to calm down himself. 

Loki cried and cried, his sobs muffled by Valerie's shirt that was now damp from his tears. She held him tight to her until she was sure that he had stopped crying, slowly pulling away and looking him into his emerald eyes. "What happened?" She asked softly.

"I- I'm a frost giant." He stuttered and Valerie's eyes widened in shock. She knew what frost giants were, Loki had told her all about them before, but she didn't understand how could he be one of them. Wasn't he Loki Odinson, prince of Asgard? "My father, he lied to me. He banished Thor-" Loki went on and on to explain everything that had happened on Asgard and that his brother was currently on Earth, trying to get his hammer back.

"I'm sorry, Loki, you don't deserve any of this. Do you need me to help you-" Valerie asked but Loki slowly shook his head and she nodded, understanding that there's nothing she could do. "Do you want to stay with me for a while?" She smiled at him softly, getting a small smile from him in return as he agreed. "Okay. Let me show you something."

She closed her eyes, putting her whole energy into trying to find Thor, her head starting to hurt as she finally succeeded in seeing him. The black surrounding changed to a lab, Loki and her standing on the entrance. There were a few people standing there, frowns on their faces. They were worriedly talking about something, all three of them looking at the large paper sheets that were spread across the table. There were two women- one slightly older than the other- and a man that was older than the both of them.

The god of mischief looked at his friend in confusion, but Valerie didn't look back as one more man stepped out of the room on their right. Loki's eyes widened as he saw the man, gasping loudly. "Thor?" He said as he tried to touch the blonde in front of him. Valerie realized that she succeeded in finding his brother, silently congratulating herself for a short moment. Loki's hand went right through his brother, making him understand that he couldn't talk to Thor.

"I'm sorry, I can't help you talk to him." She murmured, putting a hand on Loki's shoulder as she tried to bare the sharp pain to her skull. "He's in Mexico, though." She informed him and the god nodded. 

She tried holding onto the place for a little longer but the ache in her head became stronger, making her collapse to the ground. She groaned, hearing Loki's worried words like a distant hum before she recovered from the tension her powers had caused her. She still wasn't used to all of the power, but Thanos said it will eventually become easier for her, that she needed just a bit more training.

"I'm okay." She smiled at Loki as he looked at her with worry,helping her stand up. "I have to go now. Will you be alright?" She asked him.

"I will manage." He assured her. She let out a soft hum of agreement, looking at him with sad eyes, knowing that she should probably stay a bit longer. But she also felt like Tony needed her right now too, so she felt obligated to get back to him. Loki waved at her and she closed her eyes, feeling the small earthquake beneath her feet and waking up the next second.

When she woke up the movie projector was gone and she looked behind her to see Tony sitting in front of some kind of a giant hologram. There was a blanket thrown over her, which probably meant Tony wasn't that mad at her after all. It was a nice gesture and she was thankful that he finally cared enough about other people to have the thought of doing something like this.

She stood up, pulling the blanket over her shoulders and walking over to Tony. He turned around as soon as he sensed that she was close to him, a wide smile over his face. "Hey. Did you sleep well?" He asked, looking back to the blue hologram. "You've been out for hours." He huffed and touched a ball that was in the center of the whole thing. "JARVIS highlight this for me please." He commanded and the AI obeyed, highlighting it as Tony expanded it. 

"Sorry, I guess everything from today got to me." She sighed, watching as he removed some layers from the 3D model. "What's that?" She asked and Tony's smile widened. It was as if he was so proud of that holographic layout that he just felt like dancing.

"This is my dad's city of future." He said and looked at her, his eyes sparkling from happiness. "If I'm right-" He started but trailed off, deleting some stuff and speaking to JARVIS. She didn't understand half the things he said, but she maybe had a slight idea what he was onto. "Structure the protons and the neurons using pavilions as a framework." He said and now Valerie knew she was right. Tony was rediscovering a new element. Everything started coming together and both of them watched it with wide eyes full of expectation.

Once the process was done, it came to be a small blue ball that levitated in front of them. Tony huffed in satisfaction, clapping his hands together and then spread them out. The holograph enlarged, both of them turning around in awe. "Congratulations, sir. You've successfully rediscovered a new element." JARVIS spoke, making Tony smile wider than ever. "It should be an appropriate replacement for palladium." He informed and Valerie could feel tears stinging at the sides of her eyes.

"You did it!" She cheered, jumping onto Tony's lap and hugging him tightly. He returned the hug, squeezing the breath out of her from the happiness. "I don't know what I would've done if you died." She let out a small sob, trying to hold back tears, but she couldn't. She was so relieved that she just felt like crying and never letting Tony go.

"It's okay, Val, I'm glad I didn't leave you." He murmured, feeling her nod into his shoulder. She leaned back, her hands still resting on his shoulders as she looked into his brown eyes. They were so close, but somehow she smiled and told herself that this was enough. Being friends with Tony meant the world to her, if she couldn't make their relationship something else she was satisfied with what she had. For now.

 

Tony was measuring the length of one of the pipes they set up so they can synthesize the new element. Although Tony did all the math and science, Valerie made an effort to help him in any ind of way she could. Since she learned to move some small objects with her telekinetic bilities, she was a good help to Tony for lifting something for him or getting him something from an opposite end of the room. He was mildly surprised when she told him and showed him first hand, but quickly said that he knew she could do something cool.

"You know, you need some badass name." He said, connecting one pipe to the other and then screwing them together. Valerie knew what he wanted to say, but still frowned as if she didn't. She just didn't understand why would she need a superhero name, though. She wasn't one. "Oh, come on." Stark rolled his eyes. "You know you want a cool superhero nickname."

Valerie shook her head and smiled at him. "I'm not three." She said and Tony looked at her as if he'd just seen the devil. "I'm also not saying that you're three- maybe I am... Yeah. I am." She shrugged and hopped off the surface she was sitting on, walking over to the coffee machine to pour herself another cup.

"But think about it-" Tony waved his hands around, his eyebrows arched up. "What about... Cerebra?" He asked, expecting to hear an agreement or a congratulation, but instead Valerie frowned and shook her head.

"That's a bit unoriginal, don't you think?" She asked and poured the hot brown liquid into her cup, softly blowing at it to try and make it cold faster. "What about-" She huffed as an idea popped up in her head. "Teleki?"She suggested and Tony took a second to think about it.

"It's not bad..." He said and turned back to work on the pipe. Valerie smiled, taking a sip of her coffee just as the door to the lab opened and Coulson walked in. He wasn't too happy, to say the least, although Valerie could never be certain with him. He looked at her and nodded slightly- "Valerie." -then turned to look at Tony before she could even nod back. "Heard you broke the perimeter." Phil said, obviously not even surprised.

"Wait-" Valerie turned away from Coulson to look a t Tony. "You went out while I was asleep?" Tony swallowed, not really afraid of Coulson and SHIELD but afraid of Valerie being angry at him. "That's so stupid." She shook her head and silently sipped her coffee while the two men in the room exchanged looks and then engaged into conversation to which the dark haired woman didn't pay attention to.

When they stopped talking, Phil walked up to her and looked at her with a meaningful glare. "We need to talk." He said and quickly paced out of the lab. Valerie followed right behind him, stopping only when he stopped at the top of the stairs that led up into Tony's mansion. "Listen-"

"I'm sorry, I didn't know that Tony would-"

"-about the Avengers initiative." They both stopped for a moment, looking at each other with confusion in their eyes.

"What?" Valerie raised her eyebrows in disbelief. "Y-You want me to become a part of Fury's super secret band?" She asked, a small smile playing on her lips, her words heavy with sarcasm. Coulson rolled his eyes, he didn't expect her to believe him, he just hoped she would.

"With your powers you could become a great plus to the team. Especially when you're improving every day." He told her seriously, ready to have a full on breakdown. The girl in front of him sighed and ran her hand through her hair.

Truth be told, Valerie wanted to accept the offer, but what if Tony didn't qualify like Natasha mentioned he might not? She couldn't just sign up for the project because she knew that would make Tony feel like shit. "Does Tony apply too?" She bit her lip and Coulson shrugged, his face completely blank. She hated that she couldn't understand him without reading his mind. And at moments like this- it was really, really hard to hold back. So she didn't. "He doesn't qualify." She confirmed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Why do you care so much about Stark, anyway? Why does he mean so much to you? He's a textbook narcissist, egoist and acts like a two year old child. He-" Coulson was going to say much,  _much_ more, but before he could- Valerie swung her fist and it hurt her just as much as the agent's jaw.

"Get out." She hissed, watching the man in a suit wipe the blood off his lip, his mimic ridden with slight anger. "Don't you dare talk about my best friend like that again. And tell Fury that I  _kindly_ refuse his offer." She told him and he nodded shortly.

"See you at work." Phil fought the urge to squint his eyes at her, walking out with his head high and carrying out the little dignity he had left. Valerie let out a shaky breath, leaning her back against the wall and praying that Tony heard none of that and that Fury wasn't going to fire her because she just punched SHIELD's best agent. There really was nothing she wouldn't do for Tony Stark. Why _did_ he matter that much?


	14. 15 | THE SPITE OF GODS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i skipped the 14th chapter bc it's boring and nothing special would happen,, also because i'm a lazy bitch don't @ me

  A week had passed since Valerie fought with Tony and Rhodey at the expo. She wasn't able to get the feeling of the adrenaline flooding her system, her speeding heart as she felt the excitement that pushed the anxiety away for once. Then, afterwards, the praise in the press and between the people. It was still all new and fresh, the thought of everything making her smile every once in a while. The fact that she helped Tony made her somewhat proud. It had never occurred to her that she could be like the infamous Iron Man, but- now- that idea had a nice ring to it.

   _Teleki_. She thought. Maybe one day, she could call herself that. It could be possible, no doubt. Perhaps- if she let Fury sign her up for the Avengers Initiative. Though, with her abilities she was able to dig something up about it. If everything people around SHIELD's headquarters thought about, the other people that were signed to the project were all both marvelous and scary, somewhat  _dangerous_. Possible subjects were Tony and Bruce Banner, who'd she heard about but didn't know.

  "Valerie?" Natasha snapped her fingers in front of Valerie's face. The black haired woman jerked away from her position, looking around her. She  _forgot_  she was in a meeting. "Will you stop spacing out,  _please_?" The agent next to her said firmly with a small frown. Valerie mumbled a quick sorry, turning back to Fury that kept on talking about their mission.

* * *

  Later that day, whilst finishing some paperwork, Valerie felt a sharp pain in the back of her skull. She winced, closing her eyes and rubbing them with her fingers. The spark of pain was short, going away quicker than she expected. But after about ten minutes- there it was again. Though this time stronger and for a longer time. She hissed, tears stinging the sides of her eyes. She heard a high pitched sound in her ears, standing up on instinct and rushing over to the bathroom, where she collapsed in front of the sink because her head felt like it was going to explode.

  "Valerie." A strong male voice boomed inside of her head. "Valerie of Midgard." It said and she felt the pain no longer, straightening her back as she sat on the back of her heels. "I am Thor Odinson, prince of Asgard." The voice sounded soothing, though it was as if the sound was trapped inside of her head, like she heard everything through headphones.

  "Yes?" She let that word out like a shivery whisper, looking at herself in the mirror. Goosebumps invaded her skin as she saw the figure standing in the mirror behind hers. It was a blonde man, young and strong, wearing a red cape and dressed in armor. She forgot how to breathe, the look in his eyes made her scared and embarrassed, as if she'd done something to anger the god of thunder himself.

  "Do not fret, my friend, I am here to help you." He told her and his features relaxed, becoming more soft and welcoming. "I believe you were in contact with my brother, Loki." Thor frowned a small bit, his mimic questioning. She nodded, thinking about it. The last time she had seen Loki was when he told her that he was a Jotun and cried in her arms, heart broken because of his brother's banishment. "I'm afraid that Loki had gone completely mad. He- He fell off the rainbow bridge in Asgard. There is no way he could've survived. I'm sincerely sorry." The blonde looked sad as he looked away from her face.

  "W-What?" She asked. "He's dead? That can't be possible, he's a god!" Valerie's voice cracked and she wiped the single tear that slid down her face. "What happened?"

  "Loki was jealous. He was hungry for power." The god of thunder had an angry look on his face, his soft blue eyes full of pain and rage mixed together. "My brother tricked me into believing my father was dead and he tried to kill a  _whole race_  of frost giants. He said the only thing he ever wished for was to be my equal. I suppose that is what ruined him." The silence flooded the room as he said that, due to Valerie not being able to process the information very quickly.

  "I don't believe you." Valerie shook her head as her jaw clenched. She couldn't believe a single word that came out of the god's mouth, Loki could never even think of those things. He was always kind and gentle, how could his  _own brother_  say such things? Thor looked at her with sad eyes that told her she didn't have to believe him. But it made her question, was Loki lying to her? He was the god of mischief and lies after all. "He was lying to me?" She said with a pitch in her voice at the edge of a breakdown. 

  "I'm sorry." Thor apologized again, trying to give her at least a small amount of comfort, but that seemed impossible. Her head pounded from the heavy feeling of being betrayed as she looked down at her hands. She didn't even think she cared that much about Loki. It all felt surreal, whenever they met, that she didn't have the whole idea of how much the god of mischief meant to her. But she should've known better, and that's what hurt her the most. "I have to go now, I wish you well. Be careful."

  As soon as she looked up, Thor was gone and she was alone with the feeling of bitter sorrow in her gut, making her eyes sting with tears. After everything that he's been through with Tony, now  _this_  has to happen too? It was too much and she just wished she didn't know Tony and anyone else that she's friends with now. Because what's going to come? Just more trouble.

  She washed her face with cold water, going out of the bathroom and went to finish her paperwork while ignoring all the personal issues she had.

* * *

  Valerie was cleaning her home, trying to keep herself occupied with something so she doesn't think of anything else that bothered her. About Loki lying to her and wanting to start a war with frost giants. And about the fact that Tony asked her for advice on where to take Pepper on a date tonight. " _It doesn't have to be anything fancy._ " Tony told her as he looked out of the window and scratched his chin, appearing to be deeply troubled by the issue. At the end, he decided to listen to Valerie's suggestion to take her to dinner at a  _humble_  restaurant.

  There wasn't much to do at SHIELD that day so Nick just let her go home after he tried to talk to her again about the Avengers Initiative. She quickly shut the topic down, and even though she liked to think that she could be an Avenger, she would never be fit for the job. With her psychological profile and unstable powers it was just matter of time when things will suddenly shift out of control.

  The black haired girl was just about to start vacuuming the living room when the doorbell rang. She left the vacuum cleaner in the middle of the living room and wiped the thin layer of sweat from her forehead, quickly pacing to answer the door. As soon as she opened it, her heart started beating hard and her head started spinning.

  "Good evening, Valerie." Loki said innocently, also somewhat sadly. He was dressed in a dark grey suit with a tie of the same color and his hair slicked back. He looked terrible, his eyes were tired and his face pale. It seemed like he's been through a lot, but Valerie couldn't bring herself to care anymore.

  She squinted her eyes at him, shaking her head in disappointment. "What are you doing here?" He huffed at her question, looking down at his feet, obviously debating if he should actually tell her pr not. Which only made her realize that there was more things that were so much worse than what she already found out. "I didn't want to see you Loki. Go away." She said before he could answer her previous question and tried to close the door but he blocked it with his foot.

  "You have to listen to me, Valerie." He told her, his voice sounding more desperate than angry. "You have to go. Out of New York." Valerie laughed at his words and he flinched at her cold reaction.

  "Why would I listen to you? You're just a liar." She grunted and opened the door wide once again. "You wanted to go into war with frost giants, you almost killed your father and all you cared about was the throne. You were obsessed, Loki." The god of mischief looked at her with a bitter expression on his face, his nose scrunched and his eyebrows making up a deep frown.

  "My father lied to me all my life and my brother was always an egocentric brat. Odin didn't even care about me. All I wanted was to be equal to my brother." He said, anger seeping through his voice.

  "Right." Valerie nodded. "Thor is an egocentric brat, but you aren't even though you wanted to wipe out a whole race just because you had a fight with your family." She hissed at him, a cold expression on her face and her gaze completely blank. "You're selfish, Loki. Leave. And don't come looking for me again." 

  Loki smirked and made a step forward, now standing only a few inched away from Valerie. She did her best in maintaining a brave face. The dark haired girl was expecting that the god of mischief was going to yell right in her face, but she didn't even have time to do anything as he lifted her chin up and leaned in. Her heart was threatening to jump out of her chest as their lips touched.

  The kiss didn't last long and when Loki pulled away he had a wicked smirk on his face, a small chuckle passing his lips as he saw Valerie's shocked expression. "I really liked you Valerie, but it appears true that you are just another mortal that will never be able to understand my glory. I wish you best of luck when I come to get my revenge." He huffs and turns around, walking quickly away and disappearing right around the corner at the end of the hallway.


	15. 16| BEST OF BIRTHDAY WISHES

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a bit short (or not?), but i felt like it's better than nothing since i'm busy with school.

  It was late in the afternoon, the day was nearing it's end as sun slowly sunk down behind the horizon. The sky was in flames, the bright pink and red colors crashing together, and Valerie gazed at it with wide eyes. She was sat on the balcony of her apartment that looked over Central Park which she bought only a month ago. Yes, it drained all of her savings, but she really wanted to find a nicer place to live. Tony offered her to help with the money, but she felt like she would be using him.

  With a bowl filled with ice cream in her hands and soft pop music playing, she looked over the Central Park, thinking about how much she'd been through for the past year and a half. It didn't even sink in that she turned thirty. And she didn't really want to think about it since Tony didn't bother calling her. He didn't remember it was her birthday  _three days ago_ , and she hadn't even heard from him since last week. 

  It was annoying and she was mad, but she didn't have a choice but to get over it since she was just two days away from an important mission. Fury gave her a few days free until then, just to rest from the previous tasks she had to do for SHIELD. And she tried doing everything in her power to stop herself from thinking about Tony. The fact that she could only think about Tony, besides everything else, made her even more mad  _at herself_.

  Sighing, she stood up and walked inside, although before she could do so, her phone rang and without even knowing it she was already answering. "Hello?" The blue-eyed telepath spoke, her heart thumping strongly inside of her chest as she heard him slur her name from the other side of the line.

  "V-Val-" Tony stammered, significantly drunk. Valerie wanted to speak, but she didn't exactly find the words to do so.  _Have you been drinking_ , would've been a stupid question and sounded as a joke even in her own head. "Happy birthday." He chuckled drunkenly.

  "Tony, my birthday was three days ago." She replied with a deadpan voice. After that sentence came out of her mouth, there was a brief pause, but then a loud crash followed and Tony stuttered out a series of swear words that Valerie didn't know even existed. "Tony? What happened?"

  "Nothing. I'm fine." Iron Man answered shortly. "Just broke a table, uh..." He added groggily and Valerie was already on the way out of her apartment. She couldn't let him fall back and retreat to himself, isolating himself while only alcohol was by his side. 

  "I'm coming over, try not to die before I get there, you damn idiot." She growled through the phone, hanging up and grabbing the keys of her car. 

***

  JARVIS greeted Valerie as she stormed into the Malibu Stark mansion, asking where Tony was. "He is in the kitchen, Ms Valerie." The A.I. answered and Valerie sped up her walking, going through the maze of hallways before she was in front of Tony Stark himself.

   "Jesus, Tony why the hell are you still drinking?" She frowned, stomping over to the other side of the kitchen counter and grabbing the half empty bottle of scotch from Tony's hand. He looked her up and down with an angry look, wanting to say something but she raised her free hand to stop him. "What the fuck happened to you? Why did you do this to yourself?" She said, an expression of disgust on her face as she motioned over Tony's whole body.

   His hair was messy and greasy, probably he hadn't used the shower for ages. His eyes were red and tired, there was no way, but if he was that stubborn and that much of an idiot, it was probable that he stayed awake for days without sleep. Valerie sighed and shook her head, trying to show more disappointment than pity in her expression.

  "Pepper and I fought. She left... Two days ago? I don't know where she is now." Tony rubbed his eyes, trying to speak as clearly as he could. Valerie felt her heart sink. She didn't  _want_  to feel sad, but she was. And instead of being angry at Tony for doing this to himself, she couldn't help but understand that he isn't _used to this_. He probably never had a normal relationship, that's why he didn't know how to behave.

  "So you decided to get drunk? Tony you can't do that to yourself, you've had that thing in your chest almost kill you, but now you want to kill yourself?" 

  "I can take it. It's not like I haven't drank before..." He rolled his eyes, still avoiding to look at Valerie.

  The dark haired woman shook her head. "Sure, Tony. That's exactly my point. You're a moron for thinking that you can go against the world because you're  _Iron Man_. You can't. And I'm sure Pepper won't come back if you continue like this."

  "Why the hell are you even trying so hard to help me? I thought you were mad at me for being with Pepper and not you." He looked her straight in the eyes and she was worried that the terrifying feeling in her gut would show on her face.

  "That doesn't matter now. You're going to stop with this-"

   "Wait, wait." He stopped her. "I know what is going on here. You're mad, but you care about me too much to give up, because it's better to be friends than just hate me, right? Still- I don't understand how you still care about Pepper? Isn't she in your way of something?" He frowned and Valerie wanted to laugh so bad, she even felt the sides of her mouth arch up, but she somehow held it together.

  "If you think that I'm going to fight with my friend over somebody like  _you_ , you're  _so_  wrong. I would never do anything to hurt Pepper. Unlike you, Anthony. So I would kindly ask you to shut the hell up before you piss me off so bad that I punch you." She told him with a serious face and he looked ashamed of himself, but a part of him was also hurt. That part being his ego. "Now go shower. You stink."

  Stark shook his head, muttering something under his breath before he, unwillingly, left the kitchen and headed towards his bathroom.

***

  Valerie prepared coffee for Tony and her, the smell of scrambled eggs mixing with the kitchen air, making Tony even more hungry as he walked up next to Valerie. He still looked terrible and Valerie didn't even doubt how much his head hurt from the hangover. "Did you sleep well?" Valerie asked, as quiet as she could, handing Tony the cup of coffee. The Iron Man sighed, taking a sip of the bitter liquid and going over to sit at the kitchen counter.

"I'm an idiot." He muttered putting the coffee down and burying his face into his palms. She rolled her eyes and sat next to him, drinking from her own cup.  _Yes you are_ , she thought, but felt that would be too much to say. "Thank you for coming here. And I'm sorry I forgot about your birthday." He looked up, right into her eyes, his gaze full of sincerity.

"It's fine. I don't like my birthday anyway. Too many childhood memories." She looked down at her coffee, avoiding Tony's gaze as she continued speaking before he could ask questions. "I called Pepper. She's okay, but she doesn't want to talk to you." Shrugging, she moved her gaze over to Tony once again. "She didn't want to tell me what you were fighting about, but she said she wanted me to tell you that you're an asshole. So... You're an asshole."

Tony dramatically rolled his eyes, huffing slightly. "I know." He said and Valerie wanted to repeat again, how he was doing damage to himself more and more, how reckless he is and how stupid he is for not trying to be better for Pepper, but before she could plunge into it- her phone rang. She pulled it out of her pocket, seeing that the caller ID simply read 'Coulson'. She huffed and clicked the green button, bringing the phone to her ear.

"What's up?" The woman asked, hearing slight shuffling from the other line. She could hear car horns in the distance and barely, as a distant murmur, she was sure she could hear Fury shouting at someone. Coulson was quiet for a second longer, after what he woke up from his trance and finally spoke.

"It's him, Valerie." The agent said and Valerie was confused for a moment, hearing the slight excitement and intimidation in his voice. Tony looked at her, wanting to know what was going on, but she couldn't be bothered to pay attention to him. This was big, Valerie knew it.

"What do you mean it's him?" She stood up from her chair and walked out of the kitchen, ignoring Tony's curious looks.

"It's  _him_. Valerie." Phil said with a small shiver in his voice. "Steve Rogers woke up."


	16. 17| PLEASED TO MEET YOU, CAPTAIN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk if steve is a bit ooc? i have no idea what i'm doing anymore tbh, this is so bad at this point

  Her breath shivery and her hands shaking. Valerie walked into the SHIELD headquarters, making her way towards the room four hundred and three. The dreaded meeting room she little more than hated. The leather office chairs that would make her sweat even when she wasn't  _that_  nervous. Although, now she was nervous. Nervous because she would be meeting the legend himself. The only person more nervous than her could've been Coulson, but he was excited too and she wasn't.

  Even though she was going to meet the legendary super-soldier, she was more worried what Director Fury was going to say. He was completely obsessed with the avengers initiative that he asked her multiple times if she was sure that she didn't want to participate. By this point, it felt like she had no choice. Either she was to join or just move to the other side of the world and forget everything about it.

  A few more steps and she was there. In front of the grey door, seconds before she entered probably the riskiest situation ever, she took a deep breath and turned the knob pushing the door open and going in. Gasping, she tried to calm herself down as she smiled at Nick, walking over to his side.

  "Agent Kent, finally." The director said, standing up. Coulson was leaning against the wall on the other side of the room, trying his best to look professional. Yet, Valerie could still notice the shimmering in his eyes and the small smile he was so desperately trying to hide with his fist. There was no room for professional right now.

  And then there was him. Steve Rogers. Alive and healthy. It was mind-blowing how good he actually looked for someone who was just melted out of the ice. Although, he seemed so confused, but- who wouldn't? He just woke up seventy years after his own time, it couldn't get more shocking than that.

  "Mr Rogers. Please allow me to introduce to you one of our best agents, Valerie Kent." Fury told the completely bewildered man. The blonde looked up and, as if he just woke up and not several hours ago, stood up and smiled softly at Valerie, stretching his hand out to her. She looked bluntly at him for a moment, noticing how much taller he was than her, but then smiled back and shook his hand.

  "Pleased to meet you, captain." She said, looking into his icy blue eyes. The man shook his head, pulling his hand back and Valerie thought she'd done something wrong, but smiled even wider when he spoke.

  "Please. Call me Steve." He told her and she quickly nodded, not believing that she would be on the first name basis with Captain America so soon. Fury looked at her meaningfully, indicating that he wanted to talk to her and she nodded, giving an another sweet smile to Steve and following Fury out as Coulson stepped up to his hero.

  As soon as they were back on the other side of the dreaded grey door, Fury turned to the young agent and started speaking with all of the seriousness he's got. "Valerie. I know it's much to ask for, but we really need you to-"

  "-dig through the mind of the America's greatest hero that just woke up after a hundred years of being frozen in the ice? Can do, chief." She replied sarcastically, saluting with two fingers, but regretting it as soon as Nick looked at her with that one-eyed i'll-rip-your-throat-out look.

  "You're spending too much time with Stark for my liking. And I don't like him at all." Fury told her and she rolled her eyes, her mind already making a hundred and three remarks with which she could answer. Although, before she could even open her mouth, the director rose his hand, stopping her. "I need you to monitor Rogers, every once in a while you'll  _casually_  talk to him. Understood?"

  Valerie let out a short sigh, glancing away from her boss' face. She really wanted to know more about Captain America, although she didn't find it appropriate to invade his personal space. It wasn't appropriate to invade  _anybody's_  personal space, but she felt like she would be doing something even worse if she read his mind. Plus, what damage it could do to her?

  "I think we should lay off him for a little while, Nick." Valerie swallowed the knot of fear in her throat, waiting for Fury to answer. Her boss raised his chin, looking down at her in consideration. She thought she was getting somewhere, but her hopes were crushed once he shook his head.

  "We need to know what we're dealing with. As your superior, I expect of you to believe that my orders come in as everybody's best interest. Is that clear, agent Kent?"He asked and the edge of Valerie's mouth twitched, but she held back from the sarcasm and bitter smiling this time. Nodding, she silently looked at the director, a serious expression on her face. "Glad to hear that. Now, get in there. You're going to be his tour guide."

  "Yes, sir." Quietly, she obeyed. Her boss nodded and turned around, his back facing her, and started walking. Then he looked like he doubted something, almost stopping, but changing his mind and continuing down the corridor and disappearing around the corner. Now, Valerie was left all by herself to spend an afternoon with Steve Rogers. Just the thought of it was nerve wrecking, not to say that she will have to live through it in less than three minutes.

  She straightened her posture, trying to seem as confident as she could, and waltzed back through the grey door, right to the scene of Coulson trying to convince Rogers to sign his vintage cards. "Steve." Valerie smiled at the former captain, earning a glare from her colleague. "Please, agent Coulson, could you leave us?" She asked politely which told the other agent she received the orders.

  Phil nodded. "I'll let you to it, then. Mr. Rogers, agent Kent." He looked in both their direction before nervously walking through the silence and out of the only door there was in the dim meeting room. Valerie stared at the gray surface just a second longer than she should, anxiety already pent-up in her head. 

  "Well, Steve, director Fury said that you'd use a tour." She spoke nervously, uncertain how the man felt whatsoever. Yes, she could just read his mind, but- was it safe? People always assume that reading other's minds is easy, a simple peak at one's present thoughts. But Valerie practiced way more than that. If she dug too deep, who know's what she could find? It was better to play it safe, get all the information the old school way.

  "Yeah, I'm not really up to date, am I?" The blonde man replied, his lips shaped into a small but sad smile. Valerie nodded, the awkward silence slowly creeping into the room, trying to terrify her. But Steve spoke before it had gotten too uncomfortable. "So, show me around?"

  "Yes, uh, let's go." Valerie stuttered, sounding more nervous than she was, and headed out with Steve following her close behind. 

  The two of them toured the whole SHIELD headquarters facility, going through the storage rooms, offices and canteens. Valerie showed Steve anything and everything there was, amused by the way his eyes were wide as he looked at every wonder of tech that SHIELD had. She still didn't want to read his mind, which was the order from the director of SHIELD himself. She constantly had to remind herself of that, but it just didn't feel right.

  "That's extraordinary." Steve told her as they exited the IT section, going through an empty hallway on the seventh floor. "The way that the technology has developed is astonishing." His eyes sparkled in wonder. "You have to tell me more about the... internet? Is that what it's called?"

  "Right." Valerie chuckled, remembering for a brief second what she had to find out. They walked a few more steps, edging closer to the end of the hallway. The dark haired woman took a deep breath and decided that she was going to do it. "Steve..." She spoke, quieter than she thought it would come out. Looking down at her, he hummed in response. "Look." Her hands started to shake and Steve frowned, making her more intimidated than she already was. She stopped and leaned against the cold, purely white wall. "I really, really don't want you to get the wrong impression of me, I truly just want to help you. I can't imagine how confusing this is for you and I won't even be surprised if you say that you're scared as hell right now and think that HYDRA is just around the corner-" His jaw clenched at the mention of HYDRA, making Valerie stop for a second, seeing the tense feeling on his face. "-but I understand that it is probably difficult for you- that it  _has_  to be."

  "Yeah." He sighed and ran his hand through his blonde hair, looking away from her face. She noticed it only then, that he actually  _was_  scared. Even though it was faint, the sound of his breathing was rigged and his eyes were glassy. She felt bad that she even  _considered_  reading his mind. 

  With a short flash of a sad smile, she looked at her feet and proceeded to confess. "I have to tell you that- I mean, just don't freak out. I have this ability-" She searched for any emotion on his face, but now he just bluntly stared at her with his blue eyes that had just a little bit more tint than hers "I can read minds. So I guess you already know what my task was-  _is_ \- but just know that, as I said, I just want to help you."

  He looked away again, back to the direction from which they came. "This day just gets better and better, doesn't it?" He murmured, making Valerie nervous. If that was humanly possible, because she already started feeling her shirt, damp from sweat, sticking to her back two minutes ago. She was that anxious. "Did you already read my mind?"

  "No- As much as the orders from my superiors are important, I don't want to cause you to be uncomfortable. You have enough on your hands, as it is." She told him and he nodded, looking at his feet. "Though-" Clearing her throat, she straightened her posture. "I'd ask you some questions, if that's okay? It's fine if you don't want to talk right now..."

  He gave her a sad smile. "Maybe we could leave that for another time?" Asking politely, he shrugged. Valerie agreed, nodding rapidly. Perhaps, it was easier that way. Steve looked down at her, smiling softly for two or three silent seconds, before he cleared his throat and spoke again. "Maybe you could show me around the city? I've seen some of it, but I was in a rush so I didn't observe too thoroughly."

  Valerie chuckled, continuing to walk down the stranded hallway, him following closely behind. "I heard. But believe me- it's a lot."

  "Oh yeah? I'm a super-soldier. I can take it." He smiled widely and she rolled her eyes.

  Even though Valerie thought the worst of this encounter as soon as Phil called, she couldn't even say she thought it would go down that well. She was grateful, but also scared. Because what goes well for her- always comes back in the other direction,  _twice as hard_.


	17. 18| PURPOSE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this happens two months after valerie met steve, or a month before the things from avengers (2012) occur

   The day she found out was dark. The rain started falling around noon, it was depressing, to say the least. She knew this day wasn't going to bring anything good. It made her feel melancholy and unmotivated, wishing that it was sunny and bright outside. Now, she had all the time in this world to think about the things she'd rather avoid.

   It's been two months since Captain America was melted out of the ice, although it felt like it'd been years. She still wondered what was going on with him. The last time she saw him was about a month after they met each other, because director Fury got enough of her politely asking questions and Steve avoiding to answer them. She didn't think it was that big of a deal, though, she didn't care if she disobeyed the orders- it was the right thing to do.

  Valerie threw herself on the couch, laying on her back and looking at the ceiling. The faint sound of rain from the outside was satisfying, soothing her and making her sleepy at once. She didn't mean to fall asleep, but the weather was so depressing that she couldn't fight it. Slowly, she drifted into an abyss of darkness, familiar and welcoming.

  It wasn't anything she didn't expect. First, there was darkness, absolute nothingness around her as she sat there, waiting for him. Then, a stripe of light appeared, along with him, the large figure coming into focus until she could see his face. "Valerie." Thanos said, standing in front of her. She nodded curtly, investigating his serious expression. He had it every once in a while, whenever he had something new to tell her. 

  "You have something to tell me?" She asked, not realizing that she would regret it. The question itself didn't surprise Thanos, it was as if he expected it. A if he knew her every move. And she was afraid of it on every level.

  "Yes. To explain." The purple being said and Valerie frowned, but her expression quickly turned to shock when she realized that he was finally ready to explain what he wanted from her. "Are you ready?" He asked, looking down at her as if he didn't really think she was worthy of knowing. Though, she was so determined, not even thinking how bad it could be. Later, she would understand the true meaning of ' _curiosity killed the cat'_. Confidently, she nodded.

  Thanos huffed and turned away, stretching his hand out as the universe appeared around them. He had already taught her about most of the galaxies, planets, meteors and stars, preparing her for the so called  _purpose_  she had to fulfill. Although, he failed to explain what her purpose actually was and she hoped she was there to learn exactly that.

  The infinity of the outer space was breathtaking, no matter how many times Valerie has seen it. She even tried searching for Loki once, but there was absolutely no trace of him, not even in the darkest, most dangerous places. It was as if he disappeared. Valerie averted her focus back to Thanos, who was ready to explain everything to her.

  He took a breath, preparing to begin. "As you know, the space goes beyond all boundaries. It's limitless and there are all kinds of unimaginable power hidden within. Some individuals, more powerful than the others, are meant to control the things around them.  _We_  are meant to take part in balancing the universe, it is our purpose." He said, his eyes sparkling with determination, like he was full of incredible passion for power. " _We were born_  to maintain the balance that is supposed to exist. But right now- that balance doesn't exist."

  The infinite view of planets and stars changed to a landscapes full of misery and sickness. The view changed to different images of different planets, all in ruins and war, the madness seemed to be around every corner. Thanos showed her the most disturbing things she ever saw- children starving to death, beings of different species battling each other, countless lost lives, families being torn apart... There were boundless  _horrifying_  things to see that Valerie barely kept her tears back. She didn't want to believe it was that bad. There had to be good in the world, right?

  "Why are you showing me all of this?" The woman's voice quivered as she looked up at her mentor, who only stared ahead of him once everything turned back to the never-ending darkness. He looked back at her, his eyes still full of some kind of determination.

  "Because you are important. You need to see the things that happen because the world is out of balance." He told her, turning away and stretching his arm out until he reached five shining orbs that just appeared. Valerie asked him what that was and he smiled. "These are the Infinity Stones. They are the tools that will help us save this world from itself."

  He proceeded to explain how every stone had it's function. The red one was the reality stone, blue one was the space stone, purple one was the power stone, green one was the time stone, orange one was the soul stone and, lastly- the yellow one was the mind stone.

  "And how would you use these stones to keep the balance?" Valerie frowned, stepping forward to take a close look at the shining gems. Thanos was thinking for a second, then continued to lay out his plan.

  "The only way we could restore the equilibrium that is needed in order to maintain the existence of the universe is to randomly choose individuals, wiping out half of every known species of living beings. That way there would be enough of resources for everyone." He said and Valerie could feel the pressure over her whole body, her blood pressure thumping in her ears as she felt fear fill up her consciousness. She stepped back, looking at Thanos in disbelief.

  He looked at her without surprise, as if he expected exactly that reaction from her. Though, there really wasn't any other way she could react. "That- That's crazy." She stuttered, thinking about it as hard as she could, but she couldn't wrap her mind around it. It was unimaginable that someone would come up with the idea of genocide as a way to save the planet- the  _universe,_ let alone someone who she trusted and thought meant only well to her. She was blinded by the way Thanos treated her, but he was bound to tell her. It was unavoidable.

  The feeling of betrayal pulsed through her whole being and she knew she couldn't do anything about it. "I need you to trust me, Valerie." The titan continued, not paying too much attention to Valerie's current state. "I need you to help me. You will take the mind stone once the time comes. It will be your responsibility to keep it safe and bring it to me once I've collected all of the other stones. I've chosen you because I know you're powerful enough to do it, besides, I know that this is sudden, but believe me- it  _is_  the only choice we have." He tells her and she clenches her fists, her nails digging into her palms, but she could feel no pain.

  Only rage.

  After a few silent seconds, trying to collect her thoughts, she spoke. "No."

  "No?"

  "No. I won't listen to you. Your whole plan is  _insane_." She told him, looking at his shocked grimace. "You will never achieve peace through annihilation. It is impossible. You're crazy." She accused him, tears brimming at the edges of her eyes, threatening to spill out at any given moment.

  "Don't you see it?" He asked, confused by her behavior. "It is the only solution-"

  "No!" She screamed. "There has to be another way. You can't just wipe out half of the universe. You would just be adding to the madness. How can't you see it!?" Valerie asked through a sob, watching as Thanos' expression changed from shock to blood boiling anger.

  "You're just a stupid human being! You're so selfish and scared that you can't see the way it would benefit the universe!" 

  "That's the problem, actually. It won't! Why? Because half of the fucking universe would be gone, you mad creature!" She yelled, her heart beating against her rib cage from all the rage she felt.

  "But think about the future generations. Carefree and satisfied with life!" He tried to convince her but she shook her head, trying not to scream at him some more.

  "No. It isn't right. You can't do that. I won't let you."

  Thanos looked so offended by those words, he lifted his head, looking at her with disgust. "You can't stop me. I'm more powerful than you are. You could never be as powerful as me."

   "I don't have to do it alone."

   "It doesn't matter. Once I collect all of the Infinity Stones, there is no going back." He told her in a calm, confident manner. She gritted her teeth, annoyed by his calm determination.

   "I will find you, Thanos." She promised him, pointing an accusing finger in his direction. "I will kill you, if that is the only thing that would stop you from- from your destructive plan to murder half of the universe. It maybe doesn't make me better than you- but I don't care. If killing you means saving the universe then I'm in."

   Thanos smiled, then laughed, as if Valerie was only an annoying fly that he could kill by one swift swipe of his hand. "You won't do any good to the universe. There is no stopping now. And if you or your friends stand in my way- I won't hesitate to eliminate you."

  With that, he disappeared, leaving Valerie to think about how there was no way she could let him win. No way that she would let the universe crumble as she watched.


	18. 19| RECRUITMENT

  Drinking the wine from her cup, Valerie looked at the blonde woman in front of her. She didn't expect much out of this date, but she didn't mind if something actually came out of it. Angela was her neighbor for a while, which meant their interactions were nothing more than a simple ' _hello_ ' and ' _what's up?_ ', but Valerie finally gathered the courage to ask the gorgeous blonde out. Surprisingly, the woman accepted and now- here she is.

  "So, you're a psychologist, right?" Angela asked, staring at Valerie with her amber eyes, batting her thick eyelashes. Valerie nodded, taking a bit too much time as she silently adored the way Angela's eyes crinkled as she smiled widely while her round cheeks came into focus. It was obvious that Valerie was a few years younger than her, though the blonde still looked young.

  "A neuropsychologist. But I took a break from that. Now I'm just keeping it together with part time jobs and that stuff..." The blue-eyed girl explained. Angela raised her eyebrows, questioning Valerie's statement. She huffed, tilting her head a little.

  "And yet- you have the money to rent an apartment with the Central Park view?" Angela frowned and the other woman smiled, shrugging as she took a sip of her red wine. "Secrets much, huh?" She chuckled, but before Kent could answer, her phone rang.

  Valerie scrambled for the device, rummaging through her bag as she muttered a small ' _sorry_ '. She looked at the caller ID that read Fury. It took her a moment to decide if she should ruin her perfect date or not. Though, Fury isn't that compulsive to call her if it weren't an emergency, she told him to not disturb her at any cost. "I'm sorry, I really have to get this." Valerie excused herself and Angela looked at her with confusion, but said it was fine.

  The dark haired girl shot her a small smile, before standing up and walking away to the small hallway that led to the kitchen. "Is everything okay?" Valerie asked, trying to hide herself as much as she could. From the other side, she could see a sharp sigh and then nothing for a couple of seconds.

  "Valerie the Tesseract was taken. We're in trouble." The director told her and she  closed her eyes, regretting that she hadn't told them anything about Thanos and Loki. It had to be one of them. And SHIELD wasn't prepared. She knew it was her fault.

   "Don't say anything else. I'm coming right away." She stated, swiftly turning back to go towards her table, only to stop in the middle of her step. Angela was no longer there, her wine glass was completely empty and a waitress was already cleaning their table. Valerie really tended to mess things up.

***

  Valerie stormed into the SHIELD headquarters, quickly dashing through the hallways, taking the elevator- eleventh floor- and finally to Fury's office. She pushed the glass door with a little too much force, almost making it slam against the wall and shatter, but luckily she wasn't that strong.

  Fury was sat in his office chair, leaning over the table with a dark expression on his face and his eye blank as he stared at an invisible spot on the surface of his table. Natasha was standing right in front of him, looking over her shoulder, at Valerie with a worried expression. To say the least. She looked like she was about to burst into tears, it was quiet shocking how she didn't even try to cover it.

  "He took Clint." The redheaded agent spoke with a crack in her voice. Which meant that it  _really_ was bad. Valerie walked up to her friend, putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder and looking down at their sulking superior. Fury looked more depressed than Valerie would've expected. She realized only now, that she didn't understand how much the secret operation meant to Fury.

  "Do we have any leads?" Valerie asked and Fury sighed, shaking his head in disappointment. "There must be something we can do." The dark haired woman said through gritted teeth, determination making her blood run faster.

   Then suddenly, as if he got a stream of inspiration, Fury looked up with hope in his eyes. Valerie could sense what was going to happen, but she was still hoping her gut wasn't right. "There is, actually." Nick told them and stood up as Natasha looked at him with a questioning look. He huffed and smirked slightly. "It's time for the Avengers Initiative."

   Valerie clenched her jaw, afraid and angry at the same time. "Are you sure,  _sir_?" She questioned, earning a grounding glare from her boss. There was nothing more he wanted than to finally pull the ace out of his pocket and play it while everybody watched and- hopefully- praised his masterwork.

  "Of course,  _agent Kent_." The one eyed man answered, making Valerie despise the idea even more. "We're going in tomorrow. Agent Romanov-" Fury turned his head to look at the other agent. "-you know what you have to do." He ordered and Natasha nodded, regaining her emotionless expression as she glanced at Valerie and walked out without another word. "Now, agent Kent. I need you to recruit an all acquaintance of yours."

  "Why do I have a feeling I'm not going to like it-"

  "Steve Rogers."

***

  She took a deep breath, walking through the hallway that reeked of swat and was filled with air heavy with dust. Even though she had another five meters to walk into the empty gym, she could hear the faint hitting of fists against the sandbag. It made her nervous to know how worked up Steve was, maybe she should've kept an eye on him, just in case SHIELD got some insane idea of experimenting on him some more. Like he hadn't been through hell and back.

  Two more steps and she was there. It couldn't be that bad, right? After all, she could always read his mind and find a way to calm him down and manipulate him into joining the Avengers. No. She couldn't.

  "Hey." She tried sounding casual, but even that one short syllable sounded as if she just ran a marathon and was out of breath. Though, Steve didn't seem to notice, since he turned around with a deep frown on his face, too occupied by the fact that she was  _there_  than that she was nervous.

  "What-" He breathed heavily, his chest raising and falling rapidly. Valerie didn't have the time to think about the things she wanted to think. Even though there was  _a lot_  to think about. "Why are you here?" Steve turned back to punching the sandbag that was in front of him.

  "Well, as much as I want to chit-chat, that's not why I'm here." She sighed walking up to Steve and standing next to the sandbag, trying to capture his focus. He stopped for a moment, looking down at his feet, than at her while he was trying to catch his breath. "You need to ease off." She said and looked at his swollen knuckles. "What are you trying to achieve by this?" She nodded in the direction of his hands.

  "It'll heal." He told her and she rolled her eyes, taking one of his hands and ripping off the bandages. His knuckles were completely red and almost bleeding from the constant hitting. Who knows how long he'd been doing that. The super soldier ripped his hand away from her grip as she tried to swipe her thumb over the red skin.

  "If you're trying to punish yourself in some way- then don't. Look, I really don't know what is going on with you right now, but as much as I want to be nice and make you feel comfortable, I don't have time for that. We can be friends some other time." She told him as he looked at her with a blank face, perhaps trying to intimidate her. He did it, though, she was intimidated. But she couldn't show it. Not now. "SHIELD needs you. Your  _country_ , needs you. I know you're a soldier, Steve, so act like it instead of feeling sorry for yourself all day. Do something that all of us could find useful. It'll make you feel better."

  There was a moment of heavy silence between them, making her even more worried. It was too long, too much space for her to analyze what she just said. To be fair- she didn't even remember. She tried to, but it slipped away. Just like that. And Steve didn't make it any easier, he just stared at her with some kind of look she didn't know how to dissect. She could hear her heart beating wildly in her chest, but finally let out the breath she didn't know she was holding in when Rogers nodded.

  "You're right." He sighed, giving her a quick smile before he looked down at his hands, stretching them out as he winced from the pain. "I'll help you. But what exactly do we have to do?" He asked and Valerie smiled, suddenly excited.

  "Save the world."


	19. 20| TEAMMATES

   "So what have you been up to these days, Steve?" Valerie asked after the quin-jet was in the air, her and Steve being the only ones on it except the pilot and the co-pilot. He shrugged, running his hand through his blonde hair. She didn't know what to think of him. Steve looked so casual for someone that melted out of the ice little less than four months ago- seventy years after their time. It was strange, but also impressing. Even though, she couldn't trust that there was nothing going on beyond.

  "Just figuring stuff out." The super soldier replied, looking away from her face. "I still have a lot to catch up to, though." He added, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. She huffed, nodding slightly, while the faint running of the jet's engine was the only sound she could hear as she stared at him.

  It was so obvious that he was from another age- dressed in a brown leather jacket with a plaid, grey shirt underneath. His pants were far from old fashioned. Still, he looked good nonetheless. It was irritating to know how good looking he was, but to also have in mind how polite he was all of the time. One could fool themselves to think that he's even perfect. Though, Valerie knew that wasn't true. Nobody is perfect.

  "Right." She said suddenly, cutting the silence out. "Have you met someone? A certain lady?" Valerie asked and raised her eyebrows, making Steve laugh and shake his head. "Or a gentleman?" She added and he rolled his eyes, leaning back in his seat, resting his back against the wall of the quin-jet.

  "Who would like me? I'm a hundred years old." He told her and it was her turn to roll her eyes. "What? It's actually true." The blonde smiled, looking at Valerie with his blue eyes with such ease, she was jealous how calm he could be.

  "No it's not. There has to be somebody who will like you. Jesus- literally  _anybody_  would like you." She shook her head, realizing how much he actually irritated her. "You're literally the nicest guy I ever met, plus- you're super good looking. Anybody would fall for you, Rogers, and that's a fact."

  "Are you trying to flatter me?" He asked, a smug smile on his face as he raised his eyebrows in a questioning look. "I mean- It works, I'm not going to lie." Valerie was ready to tell him to not be an idiot, but perhaps she  _was_ trying to flatter him. Just unconsciously. 

  "Well, I was just stating facts, but sure- make yourself feel better." She shrugged, still smiling at him, trying to look as calm as she could. Even though she was completely rattled on the inside. Steve chuckled, diverting his eyes onto his shoes. "Anyway- we're about to land. Be ready."

  Not even ten minutes later, the quin jet was firmly landed onto the surface of the SHIELD's helicarrier. Valerie and Steve stood up, waiting for the door to open, and Valerie glanced at him to see his serious and worried expression. Surely, she didn't understand what was there to bother him, but she wasn't the one to ask.

As soon as the two of them exited the jet, Natasha was there, her face lacking emotion and formed into a painfully serious expression. The black haired woman nodded at her colleague and friend, making Steve look at her with curiosity in his eyes. "Who's that?" The super soldier asked and Valerie just grunted, walking towards the mysterious redhead.

"Agent Romanov." Valerie spoke, gesturing at Steve afterwards. "Captain Rogers." She said and the two greeted each other before falling into a small discussion. She didn't listen to them, because something occupied her attention. More so-  _someone_. Not even fifty meters away stood the world's known physicist and an expert on gamma rays, Bruce Banner. The professor looked worried and completely lost, frantically looking around him as a small group of five SHIELD workers passed him.

Valerie knew very well who he was and what hid within the outside persona. Maybe it wasn't fair to say it like that, but she knew that was literally what was going on. The Hulk made quiet a few appearances, which she was forced to study very well as an order from nobody else than Nick Fury. It was an extensive amount of homework to do, but by the end of it she found herself interested. That, now, has proved to be helpful since she didn't feel even a bit of anxiety about his presence. He looked helpless, anyway.

She heard Steve call her name and turned around instantly. "Yeah?" She hummed and he smiled at her for a second before turning away and walking after Natasha who was already halfway to the man Valerie just finished staring at. Valerie couldn't help but ask herself what was she even doing there? She seemed so far away from the scene she was actually a part of.

Shaking off the weird feeling, the dark haired girl walked forward, taking in a breath to brace herself for the thing she was already in too deep. "Must be strange for you... All of this?" She heard the physicist say to Steve as she stepped closer and closer.

"Well, this is actually kind of familiar..." The hundred year old man said just as Valerie finally made it to her destination. The physicist smiled awkwardly, looking at her with a sense of fear and panic. Was Valerie intimidating? No, she didn't think so.

"Good afternoon, professor." The black haired woman smiled politely at the frightened man. "I'm agent Valerie Kent." She introduced herself as stretched her hand towards him. He took her hand hesitantly, shaking it lightly.

"Teleki, right?" He said, letting go of her hand, and a deaf noise flooded her ears, her blood instantly running faster through her system. She was startled, to say the least. Only ever did she mention that name to Tony, which was a while ago, and never did she think that she would be hearing it from somebody else, let alone a complete stranger. Or a gamma-ray physicist with a monster inside of him.

She glanced at Natasha who was staring at her with a straight expression, as she usually did when there were people around. Professionalism is the key, she would say. But it didn't help now. "Right?" Valerie stuttered, her tongue twisting from anxiety. The thing was that she couldn't help but feel cornered, all three of them were expectantly looking at her and she was in some desperate need of being alone. "Sorry, just didn't think that you would've heard of me. Considering that you are one of the world's class physicists." She quickly smiled as wide as she could, though others could probably see the panic in her eyes as she tried her best to stay calm and focused. Breathe in and breathe out. That was all she had to do. Her cheeks were flaming up and her palms slippery. The dark brown haired man in front of her smiled softly, glancing at his feet with uneasy huff.

"Well, it's hard not to hear something when it's extraordinary, is it?" He told her lowly and before any of them could add onto it the helicarrier shook, making Valerie almost loose her balance and almost fall. Even though she regained her balance, Rogers reflexively reached out to catch her. She only glanced at him, choosing to ignore his generous intention. "Wait- is this a submarine? Really? They want me in a submerged, pressurized metal container?"

Valerie huffed at that. "You'd be surprised." She muttered as Steve and Banner instinctively made their way over to the edge of SHIELD's most valuable invention. Looking over the edge, while Steve's eyes went wide, Bruce let out a sarcastic laugh and spoke.

"This is much worse. Much worse."


	20. 21 | SO WE MEET AGAIN

  Valerie, Steve, Natasha and Bruce made their way to the inside of the wonder of technology and machinery that was SHIELD's helicarrier. They had walked swiftly and steadily, their faces serious and ridden with determination. Except, Valerie wasn't feeling so confident about the whole situation.

   She still didn't think she should be there, which was perhaps surprisingly obvious. That was what she realized when Steve had pulled her to the side before the four of them arrived at the control center of the helicarrier. "Are you okay?" He looked her in the eyes, making her nervous even more besides the fact that he was only slightly still holding onto her bicep.

  "Yeah. Completely." Steve raised his eyebrows at that, though that reaction didn't surprise her. She couldn't even believe herself. Maybe that was her major problem? God knows, she had many problems.

  "You seem so distant and nervous and-"

  "Listen." The dark haired woman stopped him as she removed his hand from her arm. "I'm always like this. I just need time to get used to you guys, that's it. Being a spy or- whatever it is that I do anymore here- is not really my strong suit. At least not yet." She explained and he nodded, looking down at his feet.

   "Right. Sorry if I did something wrong." He told her and she wanted to say he didn't do anything wrong, but the super soldier carried on walking without looking at her again. This is what happened every time she tried to explain what her problem was to people that didn't know. They wouldn't understand, which meant she just screwed up.

   Agent Kent sighed, proceeding to enter the large control room that was filled with SHIELD's engineers and IT professionals who were making sure that everything was running smoothly. Valerie had been there only once before. She still wasn't used to that environment, no matter how hard she tried. Natasha told her that she will, eventually, that she shouldn't stress about it and that she, too, went through it. Everybody new does. But Valerie didn't believe her. At least not that she felt the same way when she came there for the first time.

  Fury walked up to Romanov and Banner, talking about something with them. He glanced at Valerie from afar as she kept her distance and leaned her back against a wall. That was about the only support she had to not fall over. Maybe she was being too dramatic, but it really felt like it was out of her control. It was annoying that for the most part she solved and fixed her mental health issues, but the anxiety didn't go away.

  She could see Nick nod curtly at Natasha, then her and Bruce left and Fury started walking towards her. Valerie could hear the blood thumping in her ears as her superior approached her. "Follow me." He commanded, without even looking at her. She followed him back into the hallway she exited two or three minutes earlier.

  "I hope I didn't do anything wrong." Valerie said, trying to sound clever, although she really did hope so. Nick looked at her with a one-eyed expression of worry and Valerie's attitude softened. 

  "I just wanted to see how you were doing. I know this is hard for you, Valerie, but I also want you to know that SHIELD- that I am really grateful that you agreed to help." The director of SHIELD said with a serious, but calming expression.

  Valerie sighed and nodded, slightly smiling. "I feel like I have no choice anyway..." She said and Fury frowned, a puzzling look on his face. Though, there was no time for the one-eyed man to say anything as somebody called out Valerie's name rather loudly. Both of them turned to see Steve swiftly walking up to them. "What is it?" Valerie frowned at the super-soldier.

  The blonde glanced at Fury and returned his eyes back to Valerie. "They located Loki. It's our turn."

***

  
  Valerie sat in her seat with a faint pounding in her head. She knew that this was all her fault. And that feeling was eating her alive- from inside out- like a parasite she couldn't purge from her body. She had to fix it somehow, but the question stood- how? Was she really that powerful to take Loki on? Were they ready to face the God of mischief?

   What hurt her even more was the fact that Loki once used to trust her. The fact that she trusted him. Though, he lied. It was his nature, Valerie wasn't surprised. She didn't even think she could take it personally. But to think that Loki had once trusted her- the bond they shared? Now he was trying to invade her planet. That, she had to take personally.

   "Are you alright?" Steve asked from the seat parallel to hers. Valerie lifted her gaze from her feet and looked straight into Rogers' worried eyes as she slightly shook her head.

   "No, I'm not Steve." She sighed and lowered her gaze once again. It seemed as though the conversation was over for a few silent moments, but then Steve decided to take a step further in trying to make her feel better about herself.

   The blue eyed man stood up and made a large step towards Valerie, sitting beside her. He was sitting so close to her, their legs almost touching. Perhaps they didn't have a concept of personal space back in his day. "You can tell me." He told her softly, almost as a whisper.

   The black haired woman closed her eyes for a moment, then opened them and turned her head to look at him. It was ridiculous how close their faces were, but Valerie ignored it, trying her best not to stutter. "I'm just overwhelmed, that's all." She said and he looked at her with the saddest, most piercing look in his eyes she had ever seen. It made her feel so vulnerable... 

  She rolled her eyes and scoffed at his expression, sliding away from him. "What now? I tried to help you." The man in the blue suit pouted, looking at her with a frown.

  "I don't need your help, Rogers. Nobody's gonna save me anymore."

***

 

   Valerie stood besides Natasha as she drove the quin-jet above the scene and opened the weapons. "Loki drop the weapon and stand down." The spy spoke into the small microphone. 

 

   A second later there was a blue orb of energy shooting in their direction and Valerie almost fell when Natasha sharply dodged it. Though, she knew who was the one shooting at them.

 

  There he was, in the middle of the crowd, standing vigorously with a wicked grin on his face. Valerie still hoped that this was a misunderstanding, that everybody could just go home and forget about this. But her hopes remained unfulfilled.

 

  Steve threw his shield at Loki, catching it when it came back, and ran up to the god. He hit Loki with all force he had, but the other man just turned back and hit back with his scepter, launching him a few feet away. Soon, Loki was towering above Steve with the scepter pressed to Steve's temple.

 

  Valerie panicked, telling Natasha to lower the jet and open the door. "Are you insane?" The redhead asked and Valerie just looked at her with determination. "You really are, aren't you?" Natasha asked again.

 

  "Just open it! Please!" The black haired woman growled, urging Natasha to hurry up, which she did. Soon enough, Valerie was standing on the ground, running up to the scene. "Loki!" She screamed at her former friend.

 

  The god's head snapped in her direction and she felt sick to her stomach. This was the second time they actually met, which she hoped would be more pleasant than this. "Valerie." He said, matter-of-factly. The woman nodded, watching him drop the scepter from Steve's head and step further towards her. "What a pleasant surprise. That would be, of course, if I was surprised."

 

  Valerie huffed through her nose, trying to look confident. She wasn't, though, that was the problem. "Loki, you don't have to do this." She told him, glancing at Steve who was ready to attack Loki from the back but Valerie gestured to him to step down. "We can all just walk away from this. It still isn't late."

 

  "You're wrong." Loki laughed. "The chitauri army is coming, they're already on their way. You have no choice but to be exterminated and enslaved under my command."

 

  "Listen to yourself!" She yelled at him. "Do you hear yourself when you say that? You're going to exterminate a whole city- a whole planet- just because your father was an asshole? Well-"

 

  "Stop talking!" The god yelled back, raising his weapon and aiming right at her chest. "You forget that you're just another miserable mortal that belongs with her powerless kind. You deserve nothing more than they do." He said and Valerie didn't know what to think, she felt as if all her senses gave out.

 

  The only thing she saw was blue light, before she was flying back- blinded by the screaming white that flashed before her eyes. She felt her head hitting the concrete as she fell to her back, feeling like a thousands of needles were pricking at her whole body. The pain wasn't too strong, but rather irritating, to say the least.

 

   For a few moments she lay there, completely senseless and unaware of what was happening around her. She could see only white and hear nothing. That was until she felt a strong grip on her arm, shaking her violently.

   "Valerie!" The man cried out, his voice echoing about with a metallic tone to it and she immediately knew who it was. "Shit, please wake up." She opened her eyes, blinking rapidly until everything came into focus and she could hear properly.

   "Tony." Her throat and lungs were burning, making her struggle and cough as pain striked through her spine in impulses. "What happened?" She questioned as she looked at his helmet hanging above her head.

   The faceplate opened and Tony's face showed up with an expression of worry. "You scared me for a second." He flashed her a short smile, helping her stand to her feet. She looked around, seeing Loki being handcuffed by Natasha as he stared back at her with the corner of his eye.

   Valerie looked back to Tony, catching him inspecting her features. "I thought you weren't coming?" She said, more as a question than a statement. Tony shrugged in his metal suit.

   "Kind of a last minute decision, really." He replied.

   "Yours or Fury's?"

   "Mine, of course." Tony answered and wanted to say something more, but Natasha stopped him as she walked besides them while pushing Loki forward in front of her.

  "Lets go you two, enough talking." She growled. Loki just kept staring in front of himself as he was pushed by the redheaded SHIELD agent into the quin jet. She made him sit down and, when he did, he looked once more at Valerie with an unnerving look in his eyes.

  Tony and her went inside of the jet and Valerie realized that Steve had already settled in one of the seats. She could sense that he wanted to ask her if she was okay, but didn't think he had the permission to do so. Which was better for her, really. She wondered what he thought of the fact that she already knew Tony Stark.

  Though, Valerie tried to keep her mind clear as they lifted into the air once again, desperately hoping she was prepared for whatever comes next.


	21. 22 | TRUTH AND WHAT-NOT

  Valerie rubbed her temples as she sat in silence inside of the jet. Loki was some feet away from her, she tried to sit as far away as she could, but that still didn't stop him from occasionally glancing at her and smirking afterwards. As if he knew some inside joke he had all to himself and she didn't have a clue as to what was going on.

  She huffed and leaned back against the wall of the quin-jet, closing her eyes and attempting to calm her headache down. Natasha said it couldn't be a serious injury, but her head hurt none the less. She was certain she hit her head pretty hard, but maybe it just seemed like it because of the force of Loki's scepter. 

  "Are you okay?" She heard a soft voice say and she already knew it was Steve, making her sigh. That man really didn't know how to step off. She opened her eyes and saw the super-soldier standing right in front of her with a worried expression, once again.

  "Why do you keep asking me that? Do I look like I'm okay?" She closed her eyes again, trying to avoid the worried stares from both the blonde and her best friend as Loki snickered from his spot. "Something's funny?" He eyes snapped open and her head turned into Loki's direction.

  "Nothing, I apologize." The god of mischief looked at her with a wide smile, without any sense of shame or fear. "You look good as always, Valerie." He told her and she felt anger boil the blood in her veins, barely containing herself from standing up and beating Loki up. 

  "You don't have to apologize, I mean- you only shot me and I could've died but that's nothing. Don't waste your breath." She growled at him with her eyes closed and could practically feel the confusion radiating from both Tony and Steve. Loki huffed at that, smiling to himself.

  "That's a change, you fear for your life. Perhaps you're not so vulnerable anymore. Tell me, Valerie, did you think of jumping again? After I died?" Valerie's eyes snapped open and she could see the smug grin on Loki's face when she looked back at him.

  "What the hell are you talking about?" Tony chimed in and Valerie couldn't even look at him. She could see Natasha shift in her seat as she tried to focus on flying the jet. "Did you know him?" Valerie stayed silent. "Answer me!" 

  "Yes, I did, okay? I'm sorry, Tony, I couldn't tell you-"

  "And look where we are now!" Tony shot up from his seat and stood in front of her in his full Iron Man armor only without his helmet. "Did you know he was going to come to Earth? To attack?" Tony said and Valerie opened her mouth to speak, but Loki jumped in before she could.

  "I believe she did. The last time... we  _saw_  each other, I told her. And she  _more_  than knew me, right Valerie?" The god was looking at Tony, trying to explain his point with a smug grin. Both of them turned to look at Valerie at the same time, making her feel even more nervous. She didn't know what to fear more, Loki saying lies to disrupt Tony even more or Tony actually believing them.

  "Tony, it's not what you think-" She tried to explain but Tony rolled his eyes and huffed with ignorance. "Tony he just kissed me, that's it! Nothing more happened and I wasn't even the one who wanted it, that idiot did it without my permission." She pointed to Loki like a little child, making the god of mischief laugh to himself. 

  "Oh right. I should believe now that you didn't tell me you knew a god, that he was coming to destroy our planet and that you didn't stop it!" Her best friend cried out, staring at Valerie with a hurt expression, a sense of sadness in his eyes.

   "Wait- Even if there was anything more than that, why the hell would you have anything to be mad about?" She grunted, crossing both her legs and arms. 

   "Because I care about you, Valerie! I'm your best friend!" He said and she rolled her eyes.

   "That doesn't mean anything, Stark. I'm a grown-up, I can do whatever I want and I know what I should and shouldn't do. You don't have to babysit me."

   "Oh, right. If you're still mad about the time in Monaco-"

   "Why do you constantly keep bringing up Monaco? Maybe I'm not the one you should be concerned about on that topic. It's not me that refused to take the care when I needed it, Tony. I tried so hard to make everything work out for you and to stop you from ruining yourself, but you just keep thinking about the ways you're going to take more! I-"

  "You already know I gave you  _everything_  Valerie, if it weren't for me you would've been  _dead_." As he said that the whole jet fell silent, even the engine seemed quieter. Valerie opened her mouth to say something, but she was so mad at the way this conversation turned out.

  "You really do have to make everything about yourself, Anthony, don't you?" She huffed and let out a sarcastic laugh afterwards. "When you mentioned it already- If I was  _dead_ , I wouldn't go through the misery of knowing you, you self-centered egotistical asshole."

  Loki gasped with amusement from the other side of the jet, proceeding to comment once again, as if the argument between Valerie and Tony was some kind of a television feud. "You mortals really know how to set up a good show."

  "Shut up, Odinson." Valerie shook her head. "We will contact Thor as soon as we arrive on the helicarrier and you- will end up locked away for good on Asgard."

   "I believe he got here first." The god of mischief said and the whole jet went through a turbulence, the cracking of thunder disrupting the silence that followed after Loki's words. Valerie held onto her seat, the headache becoming stronger due to the intense movement of the plane. Something then hit the top of the jet, seemingly staying there.

  Tony gave another sorrowful look to Valerie, who returned an angry one, and turned around, getting his helmet just as Steve grabbed his shield and pulled his mask over his head. The man in the iron suit pressed a button next to the door of the jet, and soon enough they opened, leaving room for another god to appear.

  The blonde man landed right on his feet, a hammer in his hand and his eyebrows scrunched together. He was bad about something, emitting it as he hit Tony with his hammer, causing Iron Man to fly backwards and fall on his back right in front of Valerie's feet. She gasped looking to Loki, who went pale, seeming as though he had just seen a ghost or became a ghost himself.

  Thor looked at Valerie for a brief second, ignoring her presence. The god of thunder turned to Loki, grabbing his brother by the neck and turning around to fly out with him into the storm. "Thor, stop!" Valerie screamed after him, but the older Odinson didn't listen, or didn't bother to, as he disappeared into the dark clouds without a second thought.

  "Now you know him, too?" Tony huffed from inside his armor. Valerie was about to say something but Tony stood up to his feet and headed for the exit.

  "That guy's friendly?" Steve asked, looking at Tony only, as if Valerie didn't know the answer. She hoped Thor didn't have any intentions against them, but she had no way of being sure as they only met once, even then not in real life.

  "Doesn't matter. If he frees Loki or kills him- the Tessaract is lost." Tony said with determination.

  "He's not-" Valerie began saying but Steve cut her off.

  "Stark, we need a plan of attack!"

  "I have a plan- attack." Tony replied, flying out of the jet immediately, leaving no space for discussion. Valerie cursed under her breath, trying not to think of what could happen if any of the gods really lost it and went full almighty on Tony.

  Steve huffed and grabbed a bag from the shelf on the side of the jet. Valerie knew damn well what was inside of the bag and she wasn't going to let Steve do that to himself. "What are you doing?" She asked and he only looked at her for a few intense seconds, pulling the bag on his back and strapping it to his torso. "Steve, listen to me- you can't do this. Loki and Thor are powerful they're not to be messed around with."

  "Well someone did, didn't she?" Steve grumbled, leaving Valerie stunned as he jumped into the thunder without a second thought. The black haired woman stared at the flashing sky, trying to figure out why did everybody suddenly start hating her. Perhaps, she deserved it.

  "That was real fucking low." She muttered and rubbed her forehead with the heel of her hand. Valerie made sure to close the door before she sat down, closing her eyes. She could feel Natasha's stare on her every few seconds before the redhead finally spoke.

  "What are you doing?" She questioned, trying not to get too distracted.

  "I'm trying to help, for a change."

  As soon ass Valerie said that she was no longer there. Physically, yes, but her mind was elsewhere. Her conscience traveled through the wind and thunder, down to her former friend. The god of mischief. She never tried this with Loki, hell, she never tried it with anyone since her teacher revealed his true colors and she stopped speaking with him. Though, it was never too late, was it? 

  First came the darkness. It was the familiar feeling, except she could now understand a whole other side of it. Now she was the visitor. The invader. Maybe she should've asked for permission, but Loki certainly wouldn't be the one to agree on it anyway. Not when she didn't want to stay friends with him after he told her the plan to conquer the planet.

   She made a few steps around the dark abyss she was standing in, looking all around until she spotted Loki- standing unmoved. Agent Kent walked quickly towards him, putting a hand on his shoulder and turning him around. "What-" He shook away from his daze and frantically stepped away from her. 

  "Why are you here?" Valerie asked him and he huffed. She knew he was going to say 'that's what I should ask you', beating him to it. "No, Loki, why are you here on Earth? What did this whole planet do to you?" She frowned and he shook his head, making a disgusted grimace.

  "Is it not obvious? I want revenge on my spoiled brother that thinks he's the only one that deserves to be a king!" The god of mischief yelled dramatically, his hands forming into fists by his sides as he started shaking from anger.

  Valerie rolled her eyes. "Spoiled? Loki you're spoiled. The fact that you think getting revenge against your brother makes it okay to invade a whole planet- makes you ignorant. A spoiled child whose parents didn't give him enough love. But I know you can be better than this. Just tell me why did you let us capture you and surrender- really surrender. I'm sure it can all be resolved so that nobody else has to die."

  "It is too late- the chitauri are coming. There's no going back now." He smiled, chuckling mischievously. "By the way, by the looks of it your dear metal man and my brother are having a fairly dangerous disagreement. It would be good if somebody resolved it before they killed each other." With that- Loki disappeared and Valerie was back in her body in a blink of an eye.

  She opened her eyes, frantically looking around and breathing heavily. "How long was I out." She panted, looking at Natasha who was now focused on landing the jet. The jet was firmly on the ground once Natasha turned around.

  "Ten minutes tops." The redhead said and Valerie could hear the distant rumble of thunder. She shot up and headed for the door, but Natasha stopped her. "Valerie. You're not going out there." Her friend said and the black haired woman turned around to give her nothing but a blank expression.

  "I need to help them, they-"

  "The best you can do is stay right where you are. Don't make it any worse." Natasha looked at her seriously, not budging a little bit. But Valerie didn't understand why Fury called her if she was only going to make things worse.

   With a huff, she went back to her seat and muttered that she was going to regret this. "If my best friend dies-" Her sentence faded away as both her and Natasha avoided to think about how it could all end.


	22. 23 | BACK AT THE SHIELD

   Valerie sat at the table, surrounded by every other candidate for the Avengers initiative, thinking over and over again how the hell did she get into that mess. It could never get to her why was she getting involved with saving the world- she shouldn't be the one for people to rely on. All she could remember were the countless nights she spent either sobbing until both her throat and lungs hurt or wrecking every single thing in her apartment only to wake up and clean it up for the third time that week. She was going insane for a good year of her life, almost ending it with suicide. How could anybody rely on her?

  Loki was locked away in the cell SHIELD has built exactly for this kind of an exquisite threat, but Valerie still felt as though he shouldn't be there. She still believed that Loki had good in him, that he was the one who helped her get stronger after she almost died by the mercy of her own hands. That's why she tried so desperately to ignore what he was just saying to Fury.

  But soon enough, without much hesitation and intense words Fury left Loki locked away, alone, to think and perfect his plan to destroy the mankind. Even thinking about it like that, Valerie made herself feel sick to the stomach.

   She shook away from her daze after Steve started speaking, breaking the intense silence that settled upon the room. "Loki is going to drag this out." The supersoldier huffed, shaking his head in disappointment.

   "He's planning something." Valerie sighed, looking up at her teammates. "Think about it. If he didn't want us to capture him, we wouldn't be here. He needs a man on  the inside, which in this case is himself." She breaks her theory apart, trying not to stutter as everybody listens to her.

   Thor frowned at her, considering what she just said. "You're right. My brother is a trickster, he would do anything to point us in the wrong direction." The god of thunder nods, scratching his chin. Valerie almost let out a sigh of relief, pleased with the fact that she finally said something useful.

   "But I don't think we should be focusing on Loki." Banner chimed in. "I mean, look at him. His head is a bag full of cats, you can practically smell crazy on him." The physicist explained, earning a look of disappointment from the Odinson.

   "Take care in how you speak." He spoke, making Bruce look at his feet while nervously playing with his thumbs. Valerie tried to convince herself that she wasn't scared, but SHIELD couldn't afford an argument between the two.

   Before she even knew, she spoke to stop Thor from speaking and threatening Bruce any further. "With all due respect, doctor Banner, but it's not smart to underestimate Loki. He might look like he is spiteful- anger driven, but he always has a way of tricking people. It's what he's best at and we shouldn't take this matter lightly." She explained, realizing how brave she got all of a sudden and reminded herself that she should lay low. "At least that's what I think." She added through a quiet murmur.

  "Still he needs the cube for something. How's he going to use it if he's locked up here?" Natasha joined the conversation, raising her eyebrows in a questioning expression.

  "He needs it to bring the chitauri to Earth. An army of creatures, not of this world or any world known." Thor explained and Valerie recognized the name. Although, they maybe still had time to prevent it, since Loki said they aren't here yet. "They will win him the Earth in return for the Tessaract I suppose."

  "So he will make another portal?" Banner asked and Thor confirmed with a nod. "That's what he needs Selvig for. But what do they need the iridium for?"

  Just as he finished his question, another voice joined. "It's a stabilizing agent." Tony said as he walked in with Coulson by his side. The two of them exchanged a few other words quietly, but Valerie wasn't able to hear them. Then, the Iron Man directed a mean look in Valerie's direction, proceeding to stand in front of the group of his future teammates and ignore her completely. She didn't find slightest discomfort, thinking it was even better that way. "It's so the pathway doesn't collapse like it did here. It also means it can open as wide and for as long as Loki wants."

  "Then what else does he need? There must be something else, or the-" Valerie stopped to remember. "-chitauri would be here already." She stated and Tony nodded, looking to the opposite side of the room.

   "My lying friend here is fairly correct." He rubbed his hands together as Valerie rolled her eyes silently. "Even though they can get their hands on most of the components pretty easily, they still need a strong enough power-source. Something to... kick-start the cube."

   "Tessaract." The black haired woman corrected him.

   "Thank you for your insight, Agent Kent. It was really helpful. Maybe you would like to analyze the part where I said I didn't want to speak to you."

   "Well aren't you speaking to me now, Mr. Stark? Or would you prefer egomaniac?"

   "Valerie." Natasha scolded her and Valerie lowered her gaze onto the table, like an embarrassed child that just got grounded by her parents.

   "Does he need any particular power source?" Captain America got back to the real reason they were there.

  "Well he would need to heat the cube to a hundred and twelve million Kelvin just to break through the barrier." Bruce said and Tony added something, after what they communicated back and forth with heavy scientific terminology.

   "Finally somebody who speaks English." To my cheered with a smirk on his face. He walked up to Bruce and offered the shy man a hand.

  "Is that what just happened?" Steve questioned, looking at the other people in the room.

  "Doctor Banner your paper on anti electron collisions are unparalleled and I am a big fan of the way you lose control and turn into a big green monster." Tony said, trying to stop himself from smirking for the better effect.

   "Tony! Stop acting like a little bitch." Valerie growled at him, earning a shy smile of gratefulness from Bruce. "You can't just waltz in here and act like you're better than anyone else." She told him and he rolled his eyes.

    "I don't need boundaries, especially the ones you set, Valerie. By the way, you seem terribly determined to punch my face so- please, be my guest." Be turned his right cheek to her, tempting her to actually punch him. "Might as well have a go while we're here."

   The telepath stood up and stood face to face in front of Tony. "You really do have a thing for beating up the people that care about you. That's your style, isn't it? To drive everyone completely and utterly mad so that you're left with no one but yourself. Maybe then you'll realize what it is like to spend time with yourself." She pointed at his chest and he huffed ignorantly.

   "Speak for yourself." He said quietly. "Maybe you think you're so much better than me, but Valerie you've done some pretty questionable stuff. Remember- leaving me on my birthday to get my house destroyed by my best friend because you had to go and-" He pointed to Natasha, earning a death glare from the woman in front of him. Even though, that didn't stop him from finishing that sentence. "-sleep with her. All of that on my birthday, by the way." Valerie couldn't even look at anybody else in the room, feeling all of their stares on her back.

   "I-" She wanted to say something but felt like her head was going to explode in that moment. Lowering her gaze, turning around and walking out of the room as her quivering breath was the only thing that sounded in the whole room. 

  As she marched through the hallway, she passed by Fury, who looked completely set back by the way Valerie looked. He wanted to say something but Valerie just told him to leave her alone and that was exactly what he did. Perhaps she had hoped for more, but Nick was the last person that would get involved with any kind of a dramatic argument between her and Stark.

   "Valerie!" She heard her name get called out seconds later. "Valerie, wait." The super-soldier said, jogging up to her and putting a hand on her shoulder, stopping her and turning her around. He looked her in the eyes, full of anger and spite that he couldn't believe that was the same girl that helped him find his way through SHIELD a few months prior.

   "Save it, Rogers." She grumbled, shaking his hand off her shoulder. "I'm not okay. And I don't want your advice or- I don't know- Pity." She threw her arms up in surrender. "I try so hard not to lose it like this, every fucking day, that it is unbelievable how I hadn't swallowed a bullet already."

   "Hey. Don't say that." Steve held her shoulders with a strong grip. "Stark is a difficult man. But it isn't like you didn't do anything, right? Not telling him about Loki, I mean- that is a pretty big deal." He stared at her with his soft blue eyes, making her calm down. She felt like she was going to burst, but at the same time she didn't know what she was feeling. "I don't know what you see in him, Valerie, but it looks like he means an awful lot to you. Just don't tear yourself apart too much because of him."

   Valerie took in a rigged breath, feeling the tears flood her eyes. She never had an intention of crying in front of the legend himself but- the path of life is unpredictable. It was all dramatic and Valerie hated every single fight that she and Tony had, because every single one of them ended in her bawling her eyes out or Tony holding a grudge against her for it for a long, long time. She hated to admit it, but she was a drama queen, just like Tony.

  "I'm sorry." She wiped her tears away, sniffling a bit, but the blonde man didn't let her go. "Steve. Let me go." She felt more water slide down her cheeks, trying her best to sustain herself from crying before Steve leaves her. "Please." The word escaped her like a strangled sob, though she couldn't even feel embarrassed on top of the other things.

  Instead of leaving, Rogers just pulled closer in a strong hug, making her feel safer than she did in a long time. She felt like she didn't have to hold back now- she cried out every heart-wrenching emotion she had and she was thankful that Steve was there to help her through this crisis.


	23. 24 | CONFLICTS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> perhaps i shouldn't even try anymore, nothing is really happening in this fanfiction except the fckin movie plot and the actual script,, i'm so bad at this ugh sorry for this long, boring chapter
> 
> and i think that i always misspell tessaract?? idk is it really important when everything else is bad, too.

 Valerie spent most of the evening doing paperwork for Fury and accounting the mission reports. Nick didn't dare to ask what happened in the hallway after he passed her, he just gave her to work in a haste, trying to exclude himself from anything she had to do with Stark. She was thankful that it turned out like that, she couldn't bare to talk to her superior about her drama, especially when she knew how judgmental when it came to any kind of relationship outside work.

  The two of them were sitting in a big meeting room, at the opposite sides of a long table that was about the only piece of furniture there, except for the lot of chairs that went with it. The room wasn't dark, neither too bright. There were no windows, making the space a bit claustrophobic. There were no sounds from the outside, not even a slight murmur from the many people that worked in the helicarrier. 

  The environment made it hard for Valerie to focus on the work she had to do, since she was left alone in the complete silence to freely think about whatever she liked. Or what she didn't like. It was all to confusing how she couldn't not think about things. Tiring, really.

  "Kent." Fury finally barked from his end of the table, behind the towers of books and papers. "What the hell is up with you?" He squinted his remaining eye at her, trying to intimidate her into talking, but instead the girl just shook her head with a sharp exhale to express how irritated she was. Fury now desperately wanted to know what was going on. "I am your superior. In my position, I need to know what is happening with my people. I can't just let you-"

  "To hell with being my superior. I don't need to hear that all the time. This has nothing to do with work. It has nothing to do with you, nor the Avengers initiative." She  explained calmly, terrifyingly calmly, as she just carried on with her work. The one eyed man let out an exaggerated sigh. He didn't want to let her off the hook so easily.

  "I hope whatever that it is you and Stark were bickering at each other about is resolved. We can't afford a fallout now. Got a lot of work to do." He said and Valerie was pretending that she didn't hear him, making him finally give up. Although, to their surprise, there was a knock on the door and the woman's head shot up, a quick 'yes?' escaping her mouth.

  The heavy door opened to reveal nobody other than Steve Rogers, who carried a rather worried expression on his face. "Valerie, can I talk to you?" The super-soldier asked, avoiding to look at the director of SHIELD for some reason. Valerie frowned, standing up and leaving, while Fury was left behind in the gloomy room to finish the paperwork all by himself.

  "What's up?" Valerie asked Steve as he looked around and pulled her to the side, making her frown up at him. "Is something wrong?" He gave her a hard look, his face completely straight, making her even more worried.

  "Do you know something about Fury's plans?" He questioned in a rushed whisper. It took a moment for Valerie to shake her head, finding herself surprised. She knew that Fury planned to make a team-Avengers- to pull him out of trouble whenever he needed it. "Can't you read his mind?" Steve sounded so shocked by Valerie's answer.

   "I can't. He has some weird kind of mantra going on in his head, I still haven't figured a way to get through it." She sighed, shrugging. "Anyway, why are you asking me this? Did something happen?"

   Steve, once again, looked anxiously behind him, turning his head back and looking right into her eyes. "Stark is suspecting that Fury is hiding something. He started hacking SHIELD's systems but it will take time-"

   "That fucking idiot!" The woman cried out in panic, making Steve gasp in surprise. She couldn't let Tony hack the systems, first of all because besides the information about this operation there was other information about other operations in the database. Information about her. Second of all, he had no idea how uncomfortable it could be when you try to sabotage something Fury had personally worked on. "We need to stop him. He can't ransack through the database like this. Fury will kill him."

  "Wait- Valerie-" Steve said calmly, stopping her from talking any further. "I think he has a point. I don't really like Stark, but I think he's right this time. So I thought-" He looked away from her face as he made a slight pause.

   "Rogers?" Valerie raised her eyebrows at him.

   "Maybe we could go see for ourselves." He finished and Valerie considered it, even though she shouldn't. Then she gave it a bit of thought, finding herself rather interested in the idea. She knew exactly where they should look to find what they're looking for- whatever that is.

  "Fine." She nodded her head swiftly. "We can search the storage. But we have to be quick." Valerie took in a deep breath, preparing for what she was about to do. Steve nodded, a slight smirk appearing on his face. "Let's go." She looked over the corridor, going left as Steve followed swiftly behind her.

  The two of them were walking in silence for a couple of minutes, light on their feet as they rushed to get to the storage before somebody checks the cameras, but then Steve spoke up suddenly. "I didn't get the chance to ask you if you feel better? I mean-"

  "Thanks, Rogers, but that's a bit out of place here." Valerie murmured, making a sharp turn into a smaller corridor on their right.

  Steve rolled his eyes to himself. "Why can't you just answer honestly? Don't you like when people are polite to you?"He asks and she exhales sharply, as if he was irritating her that much. He was irritating her, but what irritated her more was the fact that he was actually being nice to her.

  "I just don't know how to accept that they genuinely would."

  "No wonder when you're friends with Stark." He muttered with sarcasm, making her stop abruptly, turning around with a tone of offense in her eyes.

  "Listen-  _Steve_ \- you can say whatever you want about me, but Tony is still my best friend, so stop talking about him like he's-"

  " _An asshole_? He is, actually, I'm surprised how you don't see it." The super-soldier said before she could finish, slowly making her angry.

  "Well, you aren't any nicer, y'know." She shook her head in disappointment, squinting her eyes at him slightly. "And you talk about being polite. I'm sorry that your brain still hadn't melted, because you could really use it, Cap."

   As soon as she said that, the corners of Steve's mouth twitched and soon he doubled over with a hand on his chest, laughing until his eyes started tearing up. His laugh was so contagious, making Valerie want to smile or even laugh herself, but she couldn't give up her dignity that easily.

  "Are you done? Because somebody is going to find us any minute now, unless you stop choking on your own laugh." She muttered, glancing at the camera that hung from the ceiling in the corner of the corridor. 

  "I'm sorry." He chuckled, wiping his eyes and Valerie crossed her arms, looking away in an attempt to not smile at him. "Sorry- Let's go." Steve looked straight on, passing her and continuing down the hallway.

***

  "I can't believe you!" Valerie yelled as she stormed into the lab where Fury, Banner and Tony stood with challenging expressions. Fury's head snapped to her, a glint of guilt and regret in his eyes. "What is this?" She gestured violently towards the large weapon that Steve tossed onto the table.

  "Is that phase two?" Tony furrowed his brows, turning towards Fury. The director of SHIELD looked startled for a second, most likely because he was completely cornered by the people who he was supposed to keep fixed under his control. But the whole operation was bound to fail, anyway.

  "SHIELD plans on making weapons as soon as they figure out how to use the cube to make them, isn't that right?" Steve questioned sternly, not giving Nick time to recover from the blows. "Sorry, the computer was moving a little too slow for us..." The blonde looked to Tony.

  "Captain, we've gathered everything connected to the Tessaract, that doesn't mean-" The one eyed man tried to regain his endangered authority, but lost control completely once Tony interrupted him and showed him a screen that was full of information about SHIELD's,  _oh so secret_ , plans.

   "I was wrong, director, the world hasn't changed a bit." Steve exclaimed, looking dangerously narrowing at their superior that stood defeated next to him. This was the first time that Valerie saw Nick genuinely out of control and frightened- perhaps even for his life. Maybe he was aware that if all of this withered out of balance and the whole team started slipping into chaos, anything they will have left is to pray for their lives and hope some miracle will save them from Loki and his incoming army.

  As soon as Fury was ready to speak up and try to recollect himself, two remaining candidates of his initiative joined them. "Did you know about this?" Banner didn't waste a second, immediately addressing Romanov. Valerie looked at Natasha, hoping to get a negative answer, but the spy completely dodged the dilemma.

  "Do you want to remove yourself from this environment, doctor?" She looked back at Bruce in all seriousness, telling him that Loki's plan was to manipulate him after he laughed at her for asking him the previous question.

  "And you've been doing what exactly?" The physicist shot back with a slight huff following.

  "You didn't come here because I bat my eyelashes at you."

  "Well, I'm not going to decide to leave just because you got a little twitchy." Banner scoffed, turning back to the glowing screen with dreaded information. "I want to know why SHIELD is using the Tessaract to build the weapons of mass destruction." He demanded and Valerie couldn't believe how comical it all was. Irony, that's all.

  A short and tense silence settled over the room as everybody stared at each other, waiting for someone to become the avalanche of arguments and insults that everybody was expecting, but nobody seemed to dare to do so. Though, Fury was still the bravest one. He raised his hand and pointed and accusing finger at Thor. "Because of him."

  Valerie shook her head. He really didn't know what he was talking about. "Asgardians don't mean us any harm." She argued and Fury cast a one eyed, narrowing look at her from three feet away from her.

  "Yes, maybe, though they aren't the only ones out there, are they?" Fury grumbled, making Valerie even more irritated. He was right, still- he failed to realize what a threat they were to themselves. 

  "People are dangerous, Nick." Valerie simply stated, fixing him in place with a serious face. "Creating these kinds of weapons is not smart, even a small mistake could lead us to destroying our own planet. And then you won't be able to blame anybody but yourself."

  "Yes, but SHIELD has been successful in contaminating the threats we create until now. Everything changed when he decided to appear and some people decided to play God." The director's voice rang through the unwelcoming silence that was spread between the rest of them.

  "Wait-" Tony chimed in, looking from Valerie to Nick. "That's why you put this team together? I mean- Aren't we those people." He spread his arms and smiled smugly. Valerie tried to avoid looking at him as much as she could, despite the fact that she could feel his gaze piercing through her.

  "It is not only you, Stark. Earth is filling up with the people who can't be matched. They can't be controlled-"

  "Like you control the cube?" Steve raised his eyebrows at the one eyed man. Valerie could practically touch the tension in the air, it's thickness pressing a heavy weight on her chest. She took in a long breath, exhaling it sharply. She couldn't get nervous.

  Fury looked from each one of them to another, opening his mouth like a fish, but before a single sound could escape him, Thor spoke in an accusing demeanor. "Your work with Tesseract is what brought Loki to it and his allies. It is a signal for all the realms that the Earth is ready for a higher form of war."

  "Talk about adding to the pile." Valerie muttered under her breath, feeling everybody glance at her for only a split second.

   "Listen, you forced us to do it. We had to come up with-"

   "A nuclear deterrent. Because that always helps calm everything down." Tony interrupted the director.

   "Remind me again how you made your fortune, Stark?" Fury shot right back, quiet unprofessionally and impatiently. Valerie could drag him to the moon and back for that.

   Steve stepped closer up to the man with an eye-patch. "I'm sure if he still made weapons, Stark would be neck deep-"

   "Wait, wait, wait- Hold on- How is this suddenly about me?"

   "I'm sorry, isn't everything?"

   "I thought humans were more evolved than this." Thor judged, engaged in a short staring contest with Fury.

   "Excuse me-" Valerie's superior shrieked as he was deeply offended by what the God of thunder just said. "Do our people come to your planet to blow up things?"

   "Are you guys that naive? SHIELD monitors potential threats." Natasha finally joined the argument, huffing with annoyance.

   "Captain America is under the classification of potential threat?" Banner raised his eyebrows, laughing slightly.

   "We all are." Natasha answered his question with a rather more exquisite answer than hoped for. There was a small red light that went off in Valerie's brain at that moment, making her consider all the possible outcomes of SHIELD viewing her as a threat. But the only person she threatened was herself, her poor life choices supporting that fact, and even though she is unstable at times, does she really endanger other people's lives? Weren't they all supposed to protect people?

  "You speak of control, yet you cause chaos." Thor exclaimed, making a grimace of disgust directly at Fury. 

  "That's your MO, isn't it?" Bruce stepped in. "I mean, what are we? A team? No, no, no. We're a chemical mixture that causes chaos. We're-" He paused and then calmly added. "We're a time bomb."

  Fury's eyes were will of thunderous anger as he took a step forwards to the physicist, growling at him. "You- need to step off."

  "Fury." Valerie said, trying to hold him back. Natasha was ready to interfere as well, looking anxiously between the two men that were near to hissing at each other like snakes. "Sir, I think you should calm down."

  "But wait- why shouldn't a guy let off a little steam, huh?" Tony asked arrogantly, putting an arm on Steve's shoulder as he smiled at the rest of them. Steve's eyes widened for a moment, then his brows furrowed and he pushed Tony's hand off with as much force as he could.

  "You know damn well why." Rogers barked at the billionaire. "Back off."

  "Now I kind of want you to make me."

   "Yeah..." Steve smiled to himself, circling Tony so they stand face to face. "A big man in a suit of armor. Take that off- what are you?" The blonde challenged, squinting his eyes at the shorter man in front of him

  "Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist." Tony said with a dead serious expression, but that wasn't enough to impress Steve. They were the complete polar opposites, there was no way for them to impress each other.

  "I know men with none of that worth ten of you." Steve scoffed, right in front of Tony's face. "I've seen the footage-" He continued on. "-it seems as if the only one you really fight for is you."

  "Okay, that's enough." Valerie stepped up to the two of them. "Steve, stop." She told him, her eyes begging on their own.

  "You know, you may not be a threat Stark, but you sure should stop pretending to be a hero." The super-soldier continued, despite Valerie's desperate effort to stop him. She knew it couldn't end well, not in any possible outcome.

  Tony's eyes fell emotionless, his face completely blank. "A hero? Like you? You're a lab experiment, Rogers, everything special about you came out of a bottle." The genius said, stepping forward, but Valerie pushed her arms between them, physically separating them so they don't beat the hell out of each other.

  "Will you stop?" She asked angrily, looking from Tony to Steve as they both looked at each other with determination and aggressiveness in their eyes. "Loki is trying to get into our heads, we can't-"

  "Well, he sure got into your head." Tony snapped his head towards her. It took her all the power she had left to not just leave and let them all kill each other, sparing herself the immersed pressure and constant attacks from her supposed teammates.

  "Tony, I know you're angry with me, but there is a bigger picture here-"

  "Right. Tell me, can you see it? Because last time I checked, you didn't tell us that this-" He waved his hands wildly around him. "-was going to happen, even though you knew about it. It is your fault that Loki is here."

  Valerie gritted her teeth, looking at him with piercing eyes as she tried to contain herself. "Yes, it is. But if you-" She turned around to look at the others. "Any of you got your heads out of your asses we could actually stop him. After that all of you can blame me for everything that I've done, but for now we need to stop thinking only about ourselves. There's people that depend on us right now and we can't risk any more lives lost." She told them, her eyes darting from one to another every few seconds.

  They were all silent, listening carefully to everything she'd just said. Even though she was ready to give them a whole speech on the topic, there was a beep- an alert- coming from one of the screens in the back of the lab. Bruce suddenly jolted away from where he was standing, rushing over to the device. "We have the Tessaract." He muttered hopefully. 

  "I will be there the fastest." Tony spoke, making others start arguing again about that suggestion. 

  "Tessaract belongs on Asgard, no human should possess it."

  "You're not going alone." Steve grabbed Tony's arm and the shorter man pushed it away as Valerie told them to stop over and over again.

  "You're gonna stop me?" Tony shot back, stepping up to Steve again.

  "Put on the suit let's find out."

  "You're behaving like children!"

  "I'm not afraid of you, old man."

  "Steve, no."

  "Put on the suit."

  "Oh my god." Bruce suddenly gasped, making everybody fall silent once again. And as soon as he looked up, Valerie felt the floor explode beneath her feet.


	24. 25 | FAR BIGGER PROBLEMS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was obviously unedited, just like my whole work, mind you. though, i decided the end is nearing- not of Valerie's story, just phase one.
> 
> i have to fix some things about Valerie's character and the way i portrayed Tony, because ://  
> so you will see the beginning of that, if i manage to even pull it off. (let's hope so, but probably not)

  Valerie went flying forwards, the explosion launching her between Steve and Tony, right against a wall. Her head snapped against the firm surface, right next to the doorway. The black haired woman groaned loudly as she felt hands grasping both her arms and lifting her up to her feet. She opened her eyes to see blurry, dark shadows in front of her. 

  "Tony?" She cried out, blinking violently until she regained her vision. Tony's face was pale, distraught and Steve somehow looked even worse as she looked to him. "We have to go." She said, ignoring the fact that there was an actual stream of blood coming right from her left temple and down her cheek.

  "Are you okay?" Tony breathed out as the three of them scrambled out of the wrecked lab, trying their best to spring right to action. Valerie barely had any time to glance at him as she quickly paced down the, still intact, hallway, the two men following right behind her.

  She hastily swiped her hand into the pocket on her navy blue, now torn, pants, to pull out a fairly large earpiece which she attached to her ear single-single-handedly and without much struggle. "Agent Hill?" She mumbled, her eyes piercing though the dim hallway as she turned around to see if Steve and Tony were still following her, but they were, so she didn't waste any time and started running through the hallway.

  " _Yes. I know._ " The agent spoke from the other line. " _We're doing everything we can, the engine three is down. Somebody's going to have to go out there and fix it._ " The woman said firmly and Valerie said a short ' _fine_ ', before she muted the earbud and spoke to Steve and Tony who were rushing behind her like stray dogs.

  "Tony suit up. You gotta fix the engine. Steve and I will be waiting for you there, just be as quick as you can." She grumbled the orders, trying her best not to wince at the sudden wave of pain that burst through the wound on her head. Stark nodded, making a sharp turn into one of the smaller hallways as Steve and Valerie melted into the commotion of SHIELD workers trying their best to contain the damage.

  " _Valerie?_ " The girl suddenly heard Natasha's voice come out of the earbud. " _I-I need your help._ " The redhead sounded shaken up, her voice cracking and her breath withering as loud crashes slowly surfaced from the background.

  The black haired woman looked at Steve, who shot her an annoyed glare as she slowed down. "You go, Natasha needs me. You'll be okay with Tony, I promise." She quickly blurted out to him and turned on her heel, running in the opposite direction. "Where are you?"

  " _Storage. Left wing. I think-_ " Nat told her and a loud clank of metal erupted from somewhere beyond the space she was in. " _Banner turned and-_ "

  "Natasha. I'll be right there. I have a thing or two on my mind, _just_ \- make sure that nobody gets hurt." Valerie rushed as fast as she could, running and dodging the workers and pilots that were escaping through the double door of the storage block. As if she was crazy, the woman swiftly and skillfully pushed her way though the small group of people, making her way over to the left wing. And when she arrived she had what to see.

  Thor was just then thrown by Hulk all the way into one of the storage containers, with God knows how many valuable items in it. "Banner." Valerie said firmly, not thinking twice as she looked the green creature into it's wild, blootshot eyes, trying to find even a bit of the calm and frightened man that was there not over twenty minutes ago. "I know you're there. You can fight this."

  "That won't exactly work." Natasha suddenly chimed in, turning Hulk's attention to her, but Valerie saw her clutching onto her leg as she winced and decided that she wasn't going to let Natasha intervene. Instead, Valerie whistled, making the huge monster in front of her turn back around with a more than just an angry expression.

  Hulk was livid.

  " _Easy there_." Valerie stretched her arm out as if to assure a scared animal. "Nothing will happen to you, I swear-" She said, trying desperately to unlock his thoughts, but there was nothing but rage that filled the entirety of his being. Although, Valerie tried digging deeper and she almost made it- but Thor jumped onto Hulk, pressing the handle of Mjonlir on creature's throat. "I almost had him!" She yelped, the wound on her head hurting unimaginably as she made a grimace.

  "You-" Thor growled, wrestling with Hulk as both of them groaned loudly, trying to keep their balance and swipe the other one out of it. "-didn't!" The god finally finished and Hulk threw him off, running through the storage as he wrecked everything that got in his way. The blonde was right up to his feet, grabbing his hammer and sweeping right in the air after it as Mjonlir flew after Hulk.

  "Damn it!" Valerie stomped her foot against the floor of the faulty helicarrier. "Hulk and Thor are fighting each other, somebody needs to restrain them." She marched over to the hallway, almost completely forgetting about the other woman that was there too. Although, she wasn't anymore. "What the _fuck_ is going on with these people-" Valerie shook her head, running out through the hallway as fast as she could.

  Truth be told she didn't know where to go, everybody was certainly in trouble up above their heads and she just didn't know who to help. It had almost slipped her mind that Loki might still be- _or not_ \- locked up in the cell. **_Almost_**. 

  The crashes were coming from the distance as incoming thunder, the shower of bullets a faint hum. She didn't have any time to waist on worrying, or the fact that her skull might have as well split right open. There was so much more to this than her and she realized just then how selfish she was. It was her that caused all of this. She could've prevented it, but here they all were- fighting not only for _their_ lives, but the lives of everybody in New York. Hell- _everybody on Earth._

  The door that led to the cell were destroyed, it's shreds crunching under her feet as she stepped through the shattered doorway. "Fuck-" Her breath hitched as she saw the scene that unfolded right before her eyes. Loki's hand was lingering barely half an inch above the leaver that would send his brother to his possible death. Her eyes diverted from the God of mischief, her gaze staying on Thor for not longer than a second before it ended up on the limp body of her colleague- perhaps _former_ colleague. _Phil_. " _Loki_ -"

  "What?" He smiled with pride, the smile making Valerie shiver from it's wicked nature. "It's too late, Valerie. I won." He exclaimed, pushing the leaver down and the glass coffin slid out of it's place, the contact of metal against metal creating a shrieking sound that ended only when the cage set itself free, falling down with Thor trapped inside.

  "You're wrong." Valerie suddenly heard and her head snapped to Coulson, only to find him hanging onto the little time he had left. "You haven't won. You _won't_ win." The agent struggled to speak. "It's not in your nature."

  Loki laughed, shaking his head and stepping closer to the dying man. "Your heroes are scattered. Your flying fortress is falling from the sky. _Where is my disadvantage?_ " He frowned, spreading his arms as he shrugged.

  "You lack conviction." Coulson murmured, a scowl forming on the God's face.

  " _I don't see how I-_ "

  But all Valerie heard in that moment was a blast of the large heat weapon Coulson was holding on his lap, sending Loki flying back into the wall as he punctured it and disappeared out of their sight. Valerie exhaled loudly, dropping to her knees besides her colleague, trying to find the wound.

  She couldn't though, because the man was soaking in his own blood, his shirt so damp that she couldn't find a difference. "Oh my god." She panicked, her hands shaking. "What do I do-" She bit her lip, reaching for the hem of her shirt and ripping a huge chunk of it, still trying to figure out _where in the fuck_ was he shot. Or stabbed. 

  "Agent Kent." Phil barely whispered, trying to catch her gaze. " _Valerie_." He said firmly, coughing a little afterwards. "There's nothing you can do." He told her, but she shook her head, refusing to believe him. "I don't have much longer-"

  "Don't say that, you _asshole_! You're fucking dying- **panic** for fucks sake!" She shrieked as she pressed harder onto his wound only to get a faint yelp from him as he didn't have any power left to him. He fixed her with one look, making her shut up. " _This_ -"

  "It's okay." Coulson said, coughing with struggle. "It _isn't_ your fault."

  "But it is." She sighed, trying to contain the tears that dwelled in her eyes. "I'm sorry I punched you that one time-" She said, shaking her head. He smiled at her, nodding in reassurance. It was all so- painful. The shine in his eyes lasted only for a bit longer, not many words exchanged between them, before the last bit of energy left him and he slumped against the wall, leaving Valerie completely stranded.

  She took in a deep breath, pulling her hands away from his chest and dropping the blood soaked cloth that she was clutching in her fists all that while. Her spine trembled as she looked down at her fingers, stained with red, making her sick to her stomach.

  Fury found her not too much later, curled up in a ball only two feet away from Phil's lifeless frame. He clenched his jaw, already knowing what went down and why she looked so mortified. He couldn't even bring himself to think about the fact that he just lost his best agent, saving the grief and sorrow for later when he could sit alone with only a cigarette and a glass of liquor to keep him company.

  The paramedics crouched down next to the dead agent, Valerie silently crying with her eyes squeezed shut as firm as possible. She could feel her boss' presence, wishing to rather be dead than face his judgement. Although, had she opened her eyes, she would've known that he didn't judge her at all. He _pitied_ her.

  "Agent Coulson is down." The tall man spoke and Valerie let out a faint squeal, her mouth not enough to keep the wild sobs that were trying to escape. "They're here." He spoke only a moment after. "They called it."

* * *

 Valerie dived her face into her palms full with water. Then she looked up, coming to a simple conclusion- she looked like _shit_. The cut on her forehead was now just a scorched smear of blood, looking intimidating. It was as if she saw death herself. _As if_.

  She forced herself to smile, but that way she only looked like a tired piece of cheese. She was so pale, which made her fear to even come out of the small bathroom and face everybody else. Especially Fury.

  Oh, he'd now seen her at her worse, what was stopping him from stripping her off of her job and tossing her away as if she were the last bit of a mess he'd want to deal with right now? He didn't, that was the major problem. Everybody probably hated her- she knew this was her fault and Coulson. He was dead. Gone. Just like that.

  It was still her fault.

  Her forced smile fell and her expression overtook a pained emptiness, which was caused by her trying too hard to keep it together. At last, she didn't need to keep it together. It was expected of her to _look_ like shit, _feel_ like shit and be completely _useless_ after what had happened. But because she caused all of this, she was going to fix it. There was no time for a break.

  The woman smoothed out the SHIELD uniform that she was given, the tight material sticking to her skin uncomfortably as she shifted. Perhaps that was only because she was uncomfortable in her own skin at that moment.

  Clearing her throat and nodding to her reflection in the mirror, so pale and frail, trying to reassure herself. It didn't work, though, but she didn't waste a beat longer on it.

  As soon as she swung the door opened, the buzzing of a still busy SHIELD helicarrier swarmed her hearing. She took a breezy breath, cautiously looking around and jumping in her place as a hand was placed on her shoulder. She spun around, ready to knock the person out if necessary, but then she realized it was Steve.

  "Are you okay?" He questioned, his puppy eyes beaming at her with worry. She nodded and his eyebrows twitched into a higher position, making her stiffen under his glare. "Sure don't look like it."

  "I'm okay. I _will_ be okay." She sighed, shaking her head. "Just need time, is all." She mumbled, avoiding to look back into his soft eyes.

  " _Valerie-_ "

  "Rogers, don't." She whined, closing her eyes and calming herself down. "We can't do this now. You can't feel sorry for me when we have to finish this. We need to fix it. _I_ do, at least."

  "It's not your fault." He stated firmly and it seemed so comical to her, so _tragically ironic_ that it was funny at the same time. Beating down a smile, she shook her head and fixed him with a piercing look.

  "We don't have time for this. _You know it. I know it._ So either you are going to help me fix this bullshit, or you're going to back out and let me do it without getting in my way. Because, the world knows I can be ugly." She huffed out her anger, her face asking Steve a question. _In or not?_

   He finally nodded after a second or two of the staring contest, his heart beating at an abnormal rate. Hers too. The two of them chased through the complex maze of hallways, trying to find the rest of their companions. They needed little less to seven and a half minutes to find Tony, absently staring at the wall in the room where the glass cage once was.

   They were careful, as two hunters hunting a deer. Valerie gasped at how shaken up Tony looked, she never saw him that way. Not even when he was dying. Steve leaned against the metal fence, sighing as loud as he could.

  "Was he married?" The super-soldier asked, looking to the terrified genius.

  "No-" Tony muttered. "There was a cellist, I think-"

 Steve nodded, looking at Valerie, who was so caught up with what she saw, solely Tony. She looked at the man with awe and deep sorrow settled upon her features, making Steve envy the Iron Man. He wasn't doing a single thing and she still cared for him so fondly.

  "Sorry. He seemed like a good man." Rogers shrugged. There was an outstretched silence between the three of them, meanwhile Valerie only stared at her best friend or- _whatever the fuck he was to her in that moment._

  Tony huffed suddenly, looking at the pair of them. "He was an idiot." The billionaire exclaimed surely, making both Steve and Valerie frown.

  "For believing?"

  "For taking on Loki alone."

  "He was doing his job."

  "And he wasn't alone." Valerie pouted, looking to the side as soon as Tony diverted his gaze towards her. 

  "However- He was out of his league." Tony went on, walking towards them. "He should've waited."

  "Sometimes there isn't a way out, Tony." Steve told him softly, meeting him halfway on the steel bridge. 

  "Oh, right..." Tony huffed sarcastically as he passed the super-soldier, their shoulders almost brushing against each other.

  "Is this the first time you've lost a soldier?"

  "We're not soldiers." Tony's whole body shook with terror, fury- or something in between. It was hard to describe what he looked like when he himself probably didn't know how to feel. Valerie walked up to him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

  "Tony." She said, softly and carefully. This was, again, the same scenario all over again. Her, coming up to him and giving him reassurance, stability. All the things she didn't have and was loosing all over again. "We can't give this up. And I know- I really do know, believe me- that I could've prevented it, but-" She raised her shaking finger as he opened his mouth to speak. "-if we want to stop this, we need to work together. No matter how much we hated each other, that doesn't matter now. The world is at far grater risk than out personal relationships are, so-"

  She wanted to go on, but Tony pulled her in for a hug, squeezing the soul out of her. She cautiously returned the hug, side-eyeing Steve as he flashed her a small smile. "It's not your fault." He whispered into her shoulder, hugging her tightly even though he knew he needed it more than she did.

  The woman sighed, not entirely sure how she felt about it. She was in over her head in a mess that she created and couldn't get out of. It indeed was her fault, because she had fallen hard and seemed to only wake up now, after so long.

 Though, those thoughts would have to wait as they had a far bigger mess to resolve. A gigantic one, at that.


	25. 27| BRIGHT, THE FUTURE SHINES

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've skipped a whole ass chapter, once again! i promise that i will go back to that,, but perhaps i shouldn't promise something that everybody knows i probably won't fulfill.   
> anyway, the 26th chapter was only supposed to be the final fight in avengers and that's simply too much action for my lazy ass.  
> this was right afterwards and the meeting with fury was only the next day.  
> hope you'll enjoy!

   Valerie walked towards the center of the road, Tony following closely behind her. It had been not more than five hours after the fight and she had her wounds cleaned and stitched. As if they were half bad other's. The woman didn't even know how to cope with the vacant stare that Tony had in his eyes, much less the fact that all of her team-mates were bruised, wounded and utterly exhausted from the fight. There was also the thought of how guilty she was for all of this, as well as the fact that she very well got Coulson killed by being ignorant and selfish, all floating in the back of her mind.

  Though, she didn't want to think about that in this moment. She took a fair lungful of air through her nose and huffed it out through her mouth, continuing to walk forwards and closer to the two gods. She wasn't going to think about anything except putting all of this behind her and moving on. Her life couldn't become better if she didn't make amends with some of the mistakes she will never be able to rewrite. And this was one of those moments.

  All of them stood there, exchanging silent, but knowing, looks, smugly smiling at each other as Tony opened the matte, grey briefcase he was holding, pushing it towards Banner. Bruce nodded at the Iron Man, carefully taking the glowing cube that was rested safely on the plush inside of its grey container, transferring it inside of the glass one that Thor was holding. The demi-god locked the cube inside of the large, otherworldly capsule and offered it to his brother. Hesitantly, the raven haired god took the other handle, holding it lightly as Thor turned around to look at the rest of the team.

  "I will return, my fellow friends." The blonde nodded at them, a certainty reflecting in his eyes. Valerie nodded at him as their gazes met, her eyes flickering towards Loki, who looked little less than mortified and drained from all power. He looked at her as deer in the headlights, which made her feel a slight sting in her chest for a moment. Only a moment. 

  Tony put his hand on her shoulder, nodding at Thor with one of his trademark Stark smiles. "Sure thing, Point Break. Take good care of our trespasser, will you?" He remarked, making Thor flash him an annoyed look before tipping his head in agreement.

  "Farewell." Thor mumbled, looking over everyone once again. He looked back to his younger brother, slightly narrowing his eyes and then twisting his handle just as Loki twisted his. Valerie covered her eyes with her forearm, squinting when bright white light erupted into her face. But as soon as she removed it, both foreigners were gone and the rest of them were left to exhale loudly and finally relax a bit.

  "Well, I'm happy that that's over." Clint grumbled, looking over his black tinted sunglasses. The rest of them nodded in agreement, all heading away from the marked circle in the center of the road. "Nat you riding with me?" The archer asking his partner.

  "Sure." Natasha smiled, looking all kinds of relieved. "Val you wanna come with us? We can drop you off at your place." The spy looked over to Valerie and she shrugged, shaking her head after no longer than a second.

  "No, I'll just-" She looked around, seeing there was no vehicles or people other than them around. They've messed the city pretty bad... "I'll just walk." Valerie's mouth formed a tight line as she returned her gaze back to Natasha's.

  "Suit yourself." Barton shrugged, opening the door to their car and sitting in the driver seat. The redheaded woman shot her a concerned look, but Valerie just flashed her a soft smile, trying to reassure her that she was okay.

 "You can come with us." A voice said behind her back when Natasha and Clint drove off in their dark SHIELD's car. She turned on her heel, met face to face with Bruce, the man shyly smiling at her with his hands stuffed in his pockets. She chuckled, the dazzling smile remaining on her face afterwards as she shook her head.

  "I don't think so, Bruce." She said softly. "I need a... break. From everything, actually." Banner watched her smile fade as her stare flickered towards the genius who was shaking hands with their captain, both men wearing a respectful expression on their faces.

  "He is sorry, you know." The scientist murmured, making her sigh and shrug.

  "He always is." She replied, earning and apologetic look from the man in front of her as her best friend walked over to them, Steve taking his seat on his motorcycle. Valerie watched Tony as he strode up towards them, a smug smile on his face that didn't say anything other than ' _perhaps I actually saved the world_ '. 

  The billionaire swiftly swiped his branded sunglasses off of his face and neatly tucked them in the pocket on his suit. "Well? What are we waiting for?" He asked, the smile never leaving his face. Though, his eyes still looked dazed and extremely tired.

  "I'm going to walk, Tony. Or take a taxi." Kent informed him and then added, mumbling, "If there's any left."

   A hurtful expression crossed Tony's face, but he quickly switched it to a fake, proud one. But not before she could notice. "Fine. Call me, okay? We still gotta talk." He said and she pulled up her best smile as she watched him get into the driver seat of one of his expensive sports cars, Bruce already sitting in the seat next to his. With a slight nod, the two of them pretended to not know the other one was faking, desperately hoping for this whole thing to be over as Tony and Bruce drove off, leaving Valerie and Steve behind.

  Steve looked after Stark's car, already mounting his motorcycle. "Well." Valerie walked up to the super-soldier, capturing his attention as she stood firmly next to him. "Where are you heading off to?" She tipped her head towards the shiny machine, earning a chuckle from the blonde.

  "To my flat, I guess." He told her with the soft, pearly smile he always had to spare. "You?"

  "I gotta take care of some business." She told him, trying to look away from his blue eyes. Though, she couldn't, she only appreciated the way that they looked like ice as they sparkled towards her from under his soft, thick eyelashes. "Are we just going to stare at each other or you're going to give me a ride?" She laughed and Steve looked away, a light pink tint rising in his cheeks.

  He breathed out a laugh, scooting forwards in his seat as he made room for her. "Hop on." He told her, patting his palm flat on the empty space behind him. Valerie smirked, straddling the remainder of the seat and wrapped her arms around his middle. He slightly shifted in his seat as her torso pressed against his back, but relaxed quickly enough. "Hold tight, I can get snappy." He mumbled, making Valerie laugh, wholeheartedly.

  "You? Mr. Kind Smiles? Please-" She chuckled, but her voice got cut off by the revving of the engine. Steve pressed the pedal, Valerie forced to hold onto him even tighter as she almost flew off the damn vehicle.

  She let herself completely lean into Steve as he drove, dazedly looking over the passing buildings of New York and it's outskirts as they passed by them, hoping this was a sign of something better.

* * *

  Nick crossed his arms as he watched the screen in front of him, then diverting it towards the girl that sat on the uncomfortable chair in front of his desk. She wore a serious and determined expression on her face, no trace of the woman he once recruited, almost one and half a year ago. She didn't squirm in her seat as she usually would, staring straight into his one eye.

  "You've decided to quit?" The man said, getting nothing but a curt nod from his soon to be former agent. "Are you certain about that? You know, SHIELD could still use your help-"

  "I am certain, Director." Valerie answered, cutting off whatever he wanted to add at the end of his sentence. "Nick." She added, only showing off how bold she was now. I mean, what was there that could stop her? She was one of the Avengers and she knew that, let alone accepted it. And only after a day.  _Some improvement_ , Nick thought, fighting the urge to roll his eyes.

  "Fine." He raised his chin, watching as she exhaled, easing off a bit. "Although-"

  "What now?" She groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose, leaning forward with her elbows on her knees. The Director of SHIELD smirked, ever so slightly, clearing his throat.

  "I have just one request-" He returned, stopping to correct himself, "-an offer, before you leave." He stated, her eyebrow quirking in curiosity. 

  "Oh, yeah?" She asked, leaning back in her uncomfortable seat, the chair creaking slightly under her wight.

  "Yes." Fury replied, leveling her with a serious glare. "In 2009 I organized a project called TAHITI. It's an operation of clearance level 9 and Agent Coulson had worked on it, until-"

  "He died?" Valerie swallowed the knot in her throat. It had only been a day, after all.

  Nick shook his head. "No. He'd left the project long before he passed away." The man told her, throwing a file with a red stamp on it to her. She opened it hesitantly, flipping through the loose papers that laid in the folder. "As you can probably see, we were working on extracting guest host tissue from a recovered Kree corpse that we found in one of the stranded HYDRA bases."

  Valerie stared at the annotations with her eyes widened, as if she'd seen a wonder of the world. Nick waited for her to get it together and look up at him with that puzzling look on her face. "What do I have to do with this? And since when am I level 9?" She frowned at him, tilting her head to the side.

  "You aren't. But you can be if you want to." The man offered her, making her brain click instantly. "This is a highly classified project and you have to be absolutely certain that you want to participate. Because once you do, there is no going back. The council doesn't approve of this, but I haven't been their favourite lately, anyway, so..." He trailed off.

  "There's more to it, isn't it." She spoke, more as a statement than a question. The director nodded, slowly, giving her another moment for the information to settle. "Show me."

  Nick hummed, drawing in a deep breath and turning his professional laptop towards her. As she looked at it, her posture stiffened and her gaze hardened. He had expected at least a bit more sensible reaction from her, but there wasn't one.

   Without a second thought, Valerie reached out and pressed the space button, allowing the video to play. " _Good morning, Director Fury._ " Coulson's voice was cast through the speakers. " _I regret to inform you that I'm handing in my resignation. I know you brought me on project TAHITI because you trusted my judgement._ "

  The black haired woman watched the video without a word, only her breath hitching one or two times. As the video finished playing, Fury pressed the screen from the back, closing the laptop. "Do you understand?" He asked and he knew that Valerie was going to refuse in a heartbeat.

  At least that's what he hoped for. "Who do you want to bring back?" She asked, considering the offer for a moment as he gaze flowed towards her superior. She still seemed visibly distraught, her foot now tapping against the floor at an abnormal pace and her eyes wide.

  "I know that it's risky-"

  "You want to bring  _him_  back, don't you?"

  "You catch on quiet well."

  "I'm not stupid."

  "So?" Fury raised his eyebrows at her, watching her jittery figure as she stirred in her seat.

  "Yes." She let out the breath she was holding in, startling Fury. He couldn't help but look shocked. He knew this operation would probably be immoral and dangerous but- he couldn't hold back. Her, on the other hand- she could very well back out right then and there. The question stood, though, why wouldn't she? "I accept your offer."

  "Then lets get to it." Nick sighed and offered her a hand to shake as he reached over his office table. She nodded, reaching towards his hand and shaking it, hastily pulling away. They had a hard way to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that's about it. that's a wrap. this is the end of the phase one, just as my first book for this series. there will be two more: for phase two and phase three. i feel like phase two will bring A LOT, so buckle up. the plot of the second book will be a lot smoother and i suppose i will quite enjoy writing all of it, as you will probably enjoy reading it since i noticed ALL of my mistakes and noted how i can fix my sloppy writing from this book.  
> i suppose it wasn't that bad, after all, though i will try my best to make the second book better and as for the third one... we'll see. i still have no clue what will happen after civil war to be honest.  
> anyway, you can start reading the second book even before i write up the final fight chapter, since it literally doesn't matter now lol.  
> ugh, this was quite a lot, sorry. bye then.


End file.
